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Customer Reviews

3.7 out of 5 stars
20
When Someone You Love is Kinky
Format: Paperback|Change
Price:$13.55+ Free shipping with Amazon Prime


on January 28, 2013
This would be a good book to give to my mom. Assuming my mom isn't a total pervert, which wouldn't surprise me in the least.

Sadly, what I *really* wanted from this book was more emphasis on romantic partners. That to me is kinda? what the title implies, and what I wanted to get out of reading it. I remember the confusion and scariness and "wtf am I even doing anyway" stuff that happened when my partner admitted to me that he was extremely kinky, and THAT was what I wanted this book to emphasize. It's mentioned in brief, and I appreciate that, but I wanted more on the "okay so my partner is kinky and I am willing to try being kinky also... now what? do I just go buy some leather pants?" question. That seems to be a pretty common problem, and one that existing literature frequently stinks at addressing. (Most "baby" BDSM literature is focused on "I have a kink, how can I act on it" rather than "my partner has a kink, how do I figure out how to incorporate that.")

I didn't really go for the "Dear ___" letters, either. At first because they were done as images and not pull-quotes, so in the Kindle version, they're very hard to read. Then, when I could actually read them, I just got annoyed. The person who got harassed at work for writing kinky emails to their Dominant on their work computer? I am sorry that happened. It sucks that your boss is a jerk. But why on earth were you writing (again) kinky emails to your Dominant on your work computer? That's... not really sympathy-inducing, at least to me, and it sure ain't helping with the idea that us kinksters are all-encompassing perverts who are incapable of NOT being perverts when it's neither necessary nor appropriate.
16 people found this helpful
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on December 12, 2014
This book is for the kinky person who is in the position of having or needing to explain their lifestyle to a loved-one and is not sure where to start. Includes actual letters written from lifestyles to their family/friends to explain things. Suggestions are given on how to approach this sensitive subject matter. This book can also be given to the non-lifestyles for them to read if you are unable to broach the subject with them.
3 people found this helpful
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on February 20, 2013
I heard great things about this book and bought one for my friend who is coming out. Of course, I had to read it before I could give it to her for that purpose.

I found the round about way they approach some of the subjects bothersome. There are several areas that, as someone with extensive experience in these activities, I found evasive or poorly informed enough to consider not give the book.

If you are more than 50 shades style kinky, read this book before you give it to a loved one. Depending on how they read this, it may not actually help.
2 people found this helpful
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on March 21, 2013
I LOVE Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy's Topping and Bottoming books. That said, we loved this one also. I bought it for my boyfriend who is somewhat knowledgeable about the community already, but he enjoyed having everything spelled out in ink. We especially enjoyed the last two chapters regarding negotiating with your partner needs and desires, as well as being open about solutions.
These girls have been an invaluable tool in my relationship! Fantastic buy.
3 people found this helpful
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on March 9, 2016
This book is wonderful! It is a quick read and has a lot of information for someone with questions.

The only reason I did not give it 5 stars is because in one chapter it describes a rape play sceen. This is the only part that made me scared to give it to my parents. I knew this would be too out there for them to handle.

I just wish the author had chose. A different scene for that chapter.
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on June 1, 2015
Almost done with this book- incredibly insightful, empathetic, compassionate, and thoughtful. Will recommend to others to help them close the gap of mutual understanding.
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on November 23, 2016
Great read for those who either live the lifestyle or want to introduce a spouse or significant other to the world if kink. Recommended to me by my therapist it is an all inclusive in depth look at the mindset if people in. The kinky lifestyle.
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on May 29, 2014
This is a basic "how to tell your partner" book. Or give it to your partner to read, with some explanation first. It was very informative. This is not a "how to start a BDSM relationship."
One person found this helpful
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on March 6, 2013
Great book. Very informative! Definitely helped! Took a while to get a slot of it, but I got it. Hope you like it as well
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on March 7, 2018
The size is not indicated impossible to buy.
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