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When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love Paperback – May 1, 2013
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From the Back Cover
“I said I was sorry!”
Even in the best of relationships, all of us make mistakes. We do and say things we later regret and hurt the people we love most. So we need to make things right. But simply saying you’re sorry is usually not enough.
In this book, #1 New York Times bestselling author Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas unveil new ways to effectively approach and mend fractured relationships. Even better, you’ll discover how meaningful apologies provide the power to make your friendships, family, and marriage stronger than ever before.
When Sorry Isn’t Enough will help you . . .
· Cool down heated arguments
· Offer apologies that are fully accepted
· Rekindle love that has been dimmed by pain
· Restore and strengthen valuable relationships
· Trade in tired excuses for honesty, trust, and joy
This book was previously published as The Five Languages of Apology. Content has been significantly revised and updated.
About the Author
JENNIFER M. THOMAS, Ph.D., is a motivational speaker specializing in the five love languages and communication. She is a business consultant and psychologist. She recently gave a TEDx talk on the two essentials for healthy relationships. Hint: They involve a love tank and forgiveness. She is co-author (with Gary Chapman) of When Sorry Isn't Enough and The Five Languages of Apology. Her books have been translated into fifteen foreign languages and sold hundres of thousands of copies around the world. Jennifer has a doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology from the University of Maryland, as well as a BA in Psychology and Religion from the University of Virginia. Visit her website at www.drjenthomas.com to take a free apology profile and register for her enewsletter.
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Top customer reviews
This is not a theology book. It's a practical how-to book. You'll find some Scriptures, and it's written from a Christian worldview, but mainly Thomas and Chapman draw on their years of counselling experience. The facts of sin and repentance are already assumed; they're out to tell you how to put that knowledge to practical use. They had a lot of stories with couples, singles, young and old, family and friends, to give a wide scope of how these principles work. I found the life experience aspect a refreshing inclusion.
In some ways this book was a hard, hard read. I have an extremely tender conscience, with an extreme perfectionism streak. This makes it difficult to accept messing up, while at the same time I don't like ignoring what I've done wrong. It is difficult to go through the apology process, but the older I get, the more I want an authentic, growing relationship with Christ and with family and friends. In that sense, it was convicting.
On the other hand, some of it was incredibly healing. The author duo explain that it's not wrong to want justice, as long as you handle that desire righteously. Nor does forgiveness mean that your memory is wiped of the event. Nor should you allow people to manipulate you with poor and insincere apologies.
Nor should you implode and refuse to forgive yourself.
As for the apology languages themselves? Oftentimes the way you give an apology is your personal language. So think of the last one you gave, and what you said--any of the phrases up top ring with you? My apology language is Expressing Regret, with Accepting Responsibility being a close second. (Though in rare cases I feel pretty strongly about Making Restitution.)
I appreciated this teaching, would highly recommend it, and hope to read it again. I think I'll need some time to fully process it; but I was so blessed by When Sorry Isn't Enough, and I hope you will be too.