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The White Aura (The White Aura Series Book 1) Kindle Edition
|Length: 251 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
|Page Flip: Enabled||
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From a reader's perspective:
I fell in love with Olivia and her quirky ways. She snagged me with her humor and her love for her best friend, J. It was believable that Olivia was meeting a strange boy in her dreams and pined after him while awake. I wasn't too keen on her mom and dad never being around. It kinda made me mad that they weren't the loving parents this witty child deserved. Scott, the love interest, was painted as the perfect boyfriend in every way. The story even goes so far as to have him weaken when he isn't around Olivia. I like it when characters have just a few flaws. While Scott is a sorcerer and is bound to Olivia because of a mystical occurrence that only happens to his kind, it still struck me as odd that he never even looked at another girl before he saw Olivia. That being said, the secondary characters were really well done, and I look forward to learning more about them in future installments of the series. The White Aura does a fine job of tying up loose ends for the story being told, but leaves a few things in question that I hope are answered later on.
From an editor's perspective:
This book has so much potential to be a best-selling series; but the lack of editing (by a professional) left me putting it down now and then because I was thrown out of the story. As with many novels, pronouns needed some work. Misspelled words appeared now and then, punctuation could use a tweak or two, and dialogue was stilted. It really just needs a strong polish by a good editor.
+1 Star for characters I could really wrap my head around.
+1 Star for giving me an excellent storyline that was paced well.
+1 Star for making me want to read another installment.
-1 Star for perfectionism in a character that was begging for a flaw.
-1 Star for editing errors.
Overall, 3 out of 5 stars. Not too shabby! I recommend this read if you enjoy tales of sorcerers and love.
1. Rapid-fire POV switching. POV switches after each skimpy chapter (seriously, they're like 3 pages long), to the point of getting mental whiplash.
2. And the chapters themselves are BORING. The author creates an entire scene just to show something that really deserves perhaps a paragraph of narration or a throwaway comment by a character to describe... like when Scott treats us to almost a page of description of his study room at the library-- what it's like, why he chose it, etc.-- and then, so as to not miss a SINGLE RIVETING MOMENT, carefully details how he ensured the room was tidy before he left.
Don't believe me? Here, have a paragraph of the heroine telling us her beauty routine, and complimenting herself for being a hottie:
"I stood and headed for the closet, thinking of what I might wear today. It seemed like it would be rainy, so I should find something cute but water resistant. I decided on dark skinny jeans with a dark pink off-the-shoulder top. I put my hair in a low pony tail. Rain always made my hair look awful, so I had learned to put it up on those days.
I rarely applied a ton of make-up, but I felt the urge to today. I put a neutral shade on my lids, with dark liner all around. I loved the cat eye look, so I tried that. I gently brushed my face with powder and put a touch of light pink gloss on. I gazed in the mirror and thought that I looked really good in dark pink. It really complimented my skin. I wasn't the overly confident type, but I knew when a color looked good on me, and dark pink did.
I went back to the closet and shuffled through the boxes of shoes, looking for my black rain boots with polka dots. I found them but not before getting a few boxes knocked on my head. I pulled on the boots and grabbed my book bag, ready to eat breakfast."
PLEASE, DON'T SPARE US EVEN A TEENSY MOMENT, AUTHOR. LET US KNOW EVERY FLEETING THOUGHT AND ACTION. WE NEED TO KNOW. I'll just be over here, slitting my wrists.
3. The exposition is inept and poorly-timed, in the scope of the book-- the author reveals all the "interesting" bits in the first few pages instead of revealing things as we go, thus doing us the favor of sparing us the effort of enjoying any pesky suspense or annoying romantic tension by eliminating it entirely.
4. Poor grammar, with sentence fragments and other irritations. Example: "She had even fought vampires and won. Something unheard of in our community." Ugh. Choppy fragments are choppy.
4. Falsely-modest Mary Sue main character. Among her defects are: being slim; having jewel-like green eyes instead of the more desirable, but biologically impossible, purple; and the complaint that her parents think she's beautiful. Also, the major hot jock of the school TOTALLY loves her, because of COURSE he does, and of course she's the only girl in school immune to his myriad charms.
Her sole personality flaw is that she's chronically late in waking and getting ready in the morning... seriously, that's it. ACTUAL flaws like being an insulting, tactless jerk when she rejects an advance from the hot jock are brushed off with "I couldn't be anything but blunt, no matter how hard I tried." Really? You can't manage to say, "Thank you for asking me, but I'm not interested"? Ugh.
5. The male protag is boring, too-- he's uber-sooper-powerful and has every sorcerer power EVAR, you guys! Yawn.
6. Thin, trying-too-hard premises to justify the plot. The reason the male protag is so speshul is contrived, and the reason he can't be together with the female protag is even more ridiculous.
7. A staggering amount of exhausted clichés. Among them are "having curves in all the right places" (just once, I want to read about a character having curves in the all the WRONG places. It would at least be amusing) (picture it), and "Black best friend".
I couldn't make it past page 65. YES, you're reading this right, all these issues are present before the story is even 1/3 over. I skipped ahead a bit, just to see if the rest is as much of a disaster. Yep. The heroine calls the hero "Mr. Sexy" AND HE ANSWERS TO IT. This book is just BLISTERINGLY bad.