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Who I Am Yesterday: A Path to Coping With a Loved One's Dementia Paperback – June 27, 2012

4.9 out of 5 stars 10 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Victoria captures the reader with her capacity to communicate and relate with her loved one's changing needs. To say this is a "must read" for care-givers would be an understatement."
                                                                              
~ Connie Pierce, author of Letting go of the Rice

"...a touching account of her efforts to care for her husband through the advance of his confused mental state."  "...detailed information about the practicalities of living with someone who has vascular dementia and gives realistic advice..."
 
~Cindy Koepp, author and teacher

From the Author

This book began as a journal.  Moments alone with myself after trying days while I sorted out the things that went well from the things that were a disaster.  It was my way of dealing with despair and of finding humor wherever it could be found.  As friends, co-workers and family members began to read through those early versions the comments became ever more insistent.  "You must share."  One co-worker wrote me after reading through an early proof and said: "I laughed, I cried and I wanted more."  And so, I wrote more.  It became my goal to show others that this journey can be enriching; it can be productive.  It is "A" path to coping; not everyone's path to coping.  Wherever your journey leads you should you face a life with dementia, I hope my little book gives you some comfort, some humor, some sense of where to step next on your own path, whatever the outcome.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 104 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (June 27, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1475152183
  • ISBN-13: 978-1475152180
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.3 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #7,254,222 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Who I Am Yesterday is a fascinating read. It centers on a wife whose husband suffers from dementia. It is written with grace, understanding and humor. Although this is a non-fiction, sort of self help book for those who are caretakers, I read it more as an adventure.

You never know what God has in store for you and those that you love. By taking things one day at a time, and living each day to its fullest, even a bad situation can bring joy.

The patience and love Victoria Adams has for her husband is quite apparent. The writing style is part journal and part guidance. Throughout, there is a hint of humor written in. Actually seeing and experiencing the difficult things her husband is going through has opened Victoria to much more than the average person. She takes the little things that are accomplished and hangs on to them.

Even though no one in my immediate family has dementia right now, I can still take some of the things she writes about and apply them to my life. In addition, I now understand the issues my grandmother had when my grandfather entered the Alzheimer's phase of his life. I can appreciate her efforts and can feel her pain when the man she loved for over 50 years suddenly is "gone."

Life is short and unpredictable. Victoria takes what is handed to her and learns from it. If only others could react the same way. I recommend this book to everyone. Whether you're a caregiver or not, you will take something away from this book that will make your life a better one.

I applaud the openness to share that the author obviously went through. I am sure this wasn't an easy book to write, although it is an easy book to read.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I can tell you straightaway-for anyone who is a caregiver, knows a caregiver, or who will soon become a caregiver for someone with dementia, this book is an absolute must. And not only with dementia; you can plug in almost every mental and physical handicap known, and there will be some wisdom that can be drawn from it.

Having been down this road, with and without help, Ms. Adams has written this book to help others in her same situation. But it is no medical essay-she does not go into the whys and wherefores in jargon that only the health-centric educated can understand. Her style is such that it seems she is sitting across the table from you, offering tea and sympathy, and not just a little much-needed advice.

Written with obvious love for her spouse, she takes the reader from the beginnings of the symptoms to her present "dance" with her husband. And that is what she calls it throughout the book. In her own words, she explains her choice of description this way: "There is always a balance, one you must seek each day and that changes as surely as the speed and depth of the disease changes." It may involve how the chores get done, how much time a person can stay away from the one being cared for-a myriad of possibilities.

This book is well thought out, working from the simple to the complex areas of dementia care. She wraps her advice seamlessly around anecdotes and events that she and her spouse have gone through. Not making any bones about it, she freely confesses when she found herself "solving the wrong problem". But even that became a learning process.

Some gems I found from reading Ms.
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Format: Paperback
What an amazing story of love, courage, resilience and determination. The author keeps the writing light though never marginalizing the seriousness of her husbands condition or what she as a caregiver has had to personally sacrifice in order to do the best she can for him. She will have you chuckling, smiling with affection and feeling heart sore for the journey they have undertaken. What shone through the entire book for me was her commitment to do what is right for her husband as a human being, to allow him to retain his self respect and while no doubt tested beyond her limits on many occasions on many levels, she never once gives the impression of ever giving up on him. It is without a doubt a great companion book for anyone reading it who is going through the same thing and also an education to anyone who has no clue what it's all about
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Format: Paperback
Victoria and her husband have entered into a journey that a lot of aging couples in the United States find themselves negotiating. How to care for your loved one and preserve their dignity. When my parents arrived in the 'zone' my father was the person in need of being cared for as he had suffered what the doctors had referred to as mini-strokes. This exhausted my mother and at the time my sister and I had our separate families, we did whatever we could to help when it would be accepted. I will just state at this time that I do not believe dignity was always the priority when it could have been.
I do not know how my wife and I will face this if and when it arrives but I hope either one of us will care for the other with love. The retelling of incidents and how they were handled in a fashion to ramp down hurtful emotions was really eye opening. Determining the signs of a person having a fit of dementia before you react and do something deeply damaging to the remains of a relationship is an art and we can all benefit from the experiences related in this work. Thank you Victoria for sharing.
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