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Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism Paperback – August 7, 2003

by Sandy Hotchkiss (Author), James F. Masterson M.D. (Foreword)

333 customer reviews

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In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the "Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism" and their origins. You will learn to recognize these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation.
Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice for anyone struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread to the next generation, and for anyone who encounters narcissists in everyday life.

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

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Editorial Reviews

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The Hartford Courant A how-to not only for disengaging yourself from the narcissists in your life but also learning to live with them.

Drew Pinksy, M.D. A practical and accessible book about one of the most prevalent personality disorders of our time.

Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D. coauthor of I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality. People who experience narcissism in themselves or in others now have a guide to help them steer through the storm.

About the Author

A prominent psychiatrist, James F. Masterson was born in Pennsylvania and educated at the University of Notre Dame and Jefferson Medical College. As a psychiatrist, Masterson became an authority on the treatment of personality disorders. He founded the Masterson Institute for Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy in 1977 and he wrote seven influential texts during his career. He died in 2010.

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Product details

Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Free Press; 1st updated edition (August 7, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0743214285
ISBN-13: 978-0743214285
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 333 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #16,845 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #31 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Personality Disorders
- #108 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Personality
- #206 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations

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Top customer reviews

Another good read

ByPipeFighteron May 12, 2014

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Got a co-worker that lives to make everyone miserable when he doesn't get his way? I work with someone who fits the most extreme definition. A good read but don't know if any professional techniques are applicable to the hard cases that you have to work with, However it is good to have an idea of what makes them tick and how they manipulate. I actually showed him this and two other books and he didn't even get it that I was talking about him.

0Comment 3 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Very useful information

ByDanon May 12, 2014

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I purchased this book on the recommendation of a friend after ending a tumultuous relationship. The book explained every aspect of my experience and helped me understand the mechanisms of narcissism, the manifestations, and healthy coping mechanisms. For me it has helped to close a chapter of my life that ended with a lot of unanswered questions. The language was advanced but concise and important concepts were often repeated throughout the book which aided my comprehension. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who has had the deflating experience of interacting with a parent, child, supervisor, or significant other with strong narcissistic tendencies.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Five Stars

ByCyndi Milleron July 11, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

HELPFUL

0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNo

What an insightful book

ByDebbiegon November 6, 2013

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Everyone should read this book to understand your friends and especially to recognize toxic relationships. All of the warning signs are there if you know what you are looking for. As a teacher I can see why some of the kids I work with act as they do and can take a newer approach to try and help them more in their dealings with others. Great book for the average person as far as difficulty of the matter and clarity.

0Comment 2 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Clear, direct, helpful, validating

ByD. Gardneron December 20, 2012

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I ordered used copies and skimmed through three of the highly rated books on this topic. I chose this one to read.

I found it clear and easy to read. It's somewhat technical at times, in the psychology and early childhood development of the narcissistic personality, which I found helpful.

I've recently separated from my mother and brother because of their ongoing efforts to use me to avoid their own pain. Reading this book has been another valuable piece of validation and reality in a difficult process of claiming my own life and self, and keeping them out! I recommend.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Reasonable Intro to Narcissism; needs more concrete recommendations.

ByAnne Marieon March 17, 2014

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Although I did not like this book as much as "Children of the Self-Absorbed", this was a nice overview into the topic of narcissism and it's prevalence in our society. The book got a little preachy about narcissism being the root of all evil. But it also presented some good strategies for recognizing and coping with narcissism in families, relationships, the workplace, children and - yes - even in yourself. A good basic book for beginners in the topic, but I kept waiting for more concrete solutions than some of what was offered.

0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNo

Exceptional Book

ByR. Dayon January 22, 2009

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism
This book clearly describes the behaviors of the narcissist so you can recognize the ones in your life. The author points out the problems we have when we deal with them in a way that is compassionate and yet points out why we get involved with them in the first place as well as ways we can change our interactions with the narcissists. As soon as I started I couldn't put the book down.
I also learned how they got to be this way and what triggers their problematic behaviors. This is the best book I have ever read on this subject.

0Comment 10 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

loved it!

ByAliyah Anna Tribbleon November 7, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

A good starting point for viewing and understanding narcissism. Easy to read, and you don't have to be in the field of psychology to understand this book. Would definitely recommend this book! Thanks for the great read!!

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Most recent customer reviews

Five Stars

Great reference material for all the narcissists in your life.

Published 1 month ago by Denise R.

A Narciisist Personality

Enjoyed reading the book and having to deal with a Narcissist and understanding and having to deal with a Narcissist and their personality.

Published 1 month ago by Mary Susan Haidon

Five Stars

This book not only addresses characteristics of NPD, but also explains the development of a healthy sense of self.

Published 2 months ago by Melissa Ray

Five Stars

If yor going through a divorce.. read this!

Published 3 months ago by shanstir

It's like it was written to attack the narcs in her ...

Sandy is mostly complaining about herself through this book. Not very helpful. It's like it was written to attack the narcs in her own personal life.Read more

Published 4 months ago by Schultz Family

Great inside into the narcissism in people around you

Great inside into the narcissism in people around you, and how it effects your life and what to do about it!

Published 4 months ago by S. Venema

Help to understand a narcissist

My Doctor recommended this book & I have given it to others. It helps understand a narcissist as much as you can.

Published 4 months ago by M. Gouldin

Five Stars

Informative, Very helpful.

Published 7 months ago by Rafaela De Fantis

I liked it very much

I liked it very much. It's one of the first books I read about Narcissism & I learned much. It's very important to know alittle how an Abuser thinks & why he/she behaves the way...Read more

Published 7 months ago by Barbara Bell

This book saved my life. I had to put ...

This book saved my life. I had to put it down several times while reading it, as the truth of what was happening to me because of this sick person I was married to, scared me at...Read more

Published 8 months ago by Boom Girl

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