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Why Don't You Want What I Want?: How to Win Support for Your Ideas without Hard Sell, Manipulation, or Power Plays Paperback – March 20, 2002
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From the Author
For years I've been intrigued why some people are successful getting ideas to fly but other ideas, projects, and corporate changes never leave the ground. Since I am a consultant to organizations, I have the opportunity to look closely at effective and ineffective changes. That interest resulted in "Beyond the Wall of Resistance" (Bard Press. 1996).
As I used the ideas and tools I explored in that book, I began to realize that even the largest changes often begin with one or two people. For example, Mary is head of her department. If Bob can get Mary interested in his idea for developing a new product, the ball is in motion. Because she will open the door to others in her department who will need to support this idea. If he can't interest her, then nothing will happen. I started looking more closely at these individual exchanges. I got interested in why some individuals were able to build commitment for their ideas, and others who had ideas of equal merit never seemed to get the support they desired. That exploration led to this book, "Why Don't You Want What I Want?"
This book is really about finding ways to stay as passionate about hearing from and being influenced by the people who need to support us as we areabout our idea. And that's difficult. We sometimes get seduced by our own idea and simply quit listening to others. That's usually a mistake.
"Why Don't You Want What I Want?" is written for anyone with a great idea who is having trouble getting others to listen - executives, managers, salespeople, community leaders, as well as parents and couples.
The ideas I present in the book get tested everyday by my clients, people who have attended one of my workshops, and by me. I believe the framework is sound, and I hope you'll take a look and see if you agree.
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Top Customer Reviews
The idea of using the three-tiered levels of understanding, enthusiasm, and trust for relationships is a secondary theme of the book, which focuses more on business transactions, but for just about anyone who 1) lives in Western society and 2) cares about improving his ability to communicate, whether selling ideas or just sharing information, this book provides a usable and useful model for transactional analysis. Two weeks after finishing the book, I'm finding it helpful in helping communicate ideas at work, school, and in my relationships.
Maurer truly takes a practical approach to the rare skill of collaboration of ideas. He starts by exploring different levels of resistance and how much a serious barrier to collaboration those levels can be. Next, he explores six steps for engagement with the central principle that true active listening can make all the difference. Maurer concludes by expanding these ideas and concepts beyond the mere world of work to the family.
This book really hit home with me. I'm a Director of a non-profit agency and in my work the skills of collaboration are critical and integral in working with constituents to moving towards a common goal and in a common direction. With one of our constituent groups, we had reached a stage of near impasse and Maurer's book helped our organization move through that situation and even move beyond that to start rebuilding trust. If Maurer's common-sense ideas of human relations are listened to and practiced, it can pay huge dividends in trying to achieve a greater good.
This book comes highly recommended.
My 2 cents worth.