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Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? Hardcover – March 6, 2012
| Jeanette Winterson (Author) Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author |
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Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? is a memoir about a life’s work to find happiness. It's a book full of stories: about a girl locked out of her home, sitting on the doorstep all night; about a religious zealot disguised as a mother who has two sets of false teeth and a revolver in the dresser, waiting for Armageddon; about growing up in an north England industrial town now changed beyond recognition; about the Universe as Cosmic Dustbin.
It is the story of how a painful past that Jeanette thought she'd written over and repainted rose to haunt her, sending her on a journey into madness and out again, in search of her biological mother.
Witty, acute, fierce, and celebratory, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? is a tough-minded search for belongingfor love, identity, home, and a mother.
- Print length224 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherGrove Press
- Publication dateMarch 6, 2012
- Dimensions5.75 x 1 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-100802120105
- ISBN-13978-0802120106
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Winner of the Stonewall Award
A New York Times Editors' Choice
A BBC Radio 4 Book of the Week
"Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? is raucous. It hums with a dark refulgence from its first pages. . . . Singular and electric . . . [Winterson's] life with her adoptive parents was often appalling, but it made her the writer she is."The New York Times
"To read Jeanette Winterson is to love her. . . . The fierce, curious, brilliant British writer is winningly candid in Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? . . . [Winterson has] such a joy for life and love and language that she quickly becomes her very own one-woman bandone that, luckily for us, keeps playing on."O, the Oprah Magazine
"She's one of the most daring and inventive writers of our timesearingly honest yet effortlessly lithe as she slides between forms, exuberant and unerring, demanding emotional and intellectual expansion of herself and of us. . . She explores not only the structure of storytelling byt the interplay of past, present, and future, blending science fiction, realism, and a deep love of literature and history. . . . In Why Be Happy, [Winterson's] emotional life is laid bare. [Her] struggle to first accept and then love herself yields a bravely frank narrative of truly coming undone. For someone in love with disguises, Winterson's openness is all the more moving; there's nothing left to hide, and nothing left to hide behind."A.M. Homes, Elle
"Magnificent . . . What begins as a tragicomic tale of triumph over a soul-destroying childhood becomes something rougher and richer in the later passages. . . . Winterson writes with heartrending precision. . . . Ferociously funny and unfathomably generous, Winterson's exorcism-in-writing is an unforgettable quest for belonging, a tour de force of literature and love."Vogue
"A memoir as unconventional and winning as [Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit], the rollicking bildungsroman . . . that instantly established [Winterson’s] distinctive voice. . . . It’s a testament to Winterson’s innate generosity, as well as her talent, that she can showcase the outsize humor her mother’s equally capacious craziness provides even as she reveals cruelties Mrs. Winterson imposed on her. . . . To confront Mrs. Winterson head on, in life, in nonfiction, demands courage; to survive requires imagination. . . . But put your money on Jeanette Winterson. Seventeen books ago, she proved she had what she needed. Heroines are defined not by their wounds, but by their triumphs.”New York Times Book Review
With raw honesty and wit, Winterson reveals how she fought her way to adulthood, finding success, loveand ultimately forgiveness.”People (4 stars)
"Bold . . . One of the most entertaining and moving memoirs in recent memory . . . A coming-of-age story, a coming-out story, and a celebration of the act of reading . . . A marvelous gift of consolation and wisdom."The Boston Globe
"Jeanette Winterson's sentences become lodged in the brain for years, like song lyrics. . . . Beautiful . . . Powerful . . . Shockingly revealing . . . Raw and undigested . . . Never has anyone so outsized and exceptional struggled through such remembered pain to discover how intensely ordinary she was meant to be."Slate
"Riveting . . . Beautifully open . . . Why Be Happy is a meditation on loss, stories, and silences."Newsday
"[Winterson's] novelsmongrels of autobiography, myth, fantasy, and formal experimentationevince a colossal stamina for self-scrutiny. . . . [A] proud and vivid portrait of working-class life . . . This bullet of a book is charged with risk, dark mirth, hard-won self-knowledge. . . . You're in the hands of a master builder who has remixed the memoir into a work of terror and beauty."Bookforum
"Captivating . . . A painful and poignant story of redemption, sexuality, identity, love, loss, and, ultimately, forgiveness."Huffington Post
"Raw . . . A highly unusual, scrupulously honest, and endearing memoir."Publishers Weekly (starred review)
"Shattering, brilliant . . . There is a sense at the end of this brave, funny, heartbreaking book that Winterson has somehow reconciled herself to the past. Without her adoptive mother, she wonders what she would beNormal? Uneducated? Heterosexual?and she doesn't much fancy the prospect. . . . She might have been happy and normal, but she wouldn't have been Jeanette Winterson. Her childhood was ghastly, as bad as Dickens's stint in the blacking factory, but it was also the crucible for her incendiary talent."The Sunday Times (UK)
"To read Jeanette Winterson's books is to know the exquisite torment of envying every bloody word she writes on the page. . . . Winterson may be one of the bravest writers of our time."Huffington Post
"Winterson pulls back the veil on her life as she really lived it and shows us that truth is not only stranger than fiction, but more painful and more beautiful as well. . . . Searing and candid . . . Winterson holds nothing back. . . . Written with poetic beauty."Bookpage
"Unconventional, ambitious . . . The experience of reading Why Be Happy is unusually visceral. Winterson confronts her actions, personality quirks, even sexuality, with a kind of violence, as if forcing herself to be honest. . . . The prose is often breathtaking: witty, biblical, chatty, and vigorous all at once."Financial Times
"Riveting . . . There's a lot of flinty humor here, a lot of insight into the emotional legacy of adoptionand a generally refreshing admission that understanding life is as hard as living it."Entertainment Weekly (A-)
"Stunningly lovely and fearlessly reflective, Why Be Happy is a reminder of what the project of remembering and recording canand shouldbe."Bookreporter
"There’s always been something Byronic about Wintersona stormily passionate soul bitterly indicting the society that excludes her while feeding on the Romantic drama of that exclusion. . . . Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? restores Winterson to her full power. . . . This is a book that will inspire much underlining."Salon
"Compelling, in fact, perhaps even more so when compared to the fictionalized version written by Winterson as a twenty-five-year-old. Then, passion and anger seemed to burn off the page. . . . Now comes [an] emotional excavation as a fifty-two-year-old looking back with a cooler, more forgiving eye. . . . The specifics of [Winterson's] early abuse are vivid, violent, and no less horrifying for their familiarity. . . . If the memoir was begun as a final exorcism of the monster mother, it ends with a moving acceptance of her."The Independent (UK)
"As compulsively readable as Truth and Beauty, Ann Patchett's great memoir of friendship. . . . A tribute to the salvation of narrative."Shelf Awareness
"An extraordinary tragic-comic literary autobiography."The Guardian (Best Book of 2011)
"[Why Be Happy] very possibly [contains] the most honest writing Winterson has ever done: bone-hard, bone-naked truth that hides nothing about the discovery process of finding her biological mother, and going mad. . . . Her observations read as verses of the King James Bible: bold, beautiful, and true."Los Angeles Review of Books
"Moving, honest . . . Rich in detail and the history of the northern English town of Accrington, Winterson's narrative allows readers to ponder, along with the author, the importance of feeling wanted and loved."Kirkus Reviews
"[Winterson] is piercingly honest, deeply creative, and stubbornly self-confident. . . . A testimony to the power of love and the need to feel wanted."The Seattle Times
"At lastand essential new book by Jeanette Winterson. She is a natural memoirist. . . . Wry, urgent . . . Pressed on by the need for self-discovery, the prose doesn't miss a beat. . . . Winterson is frank about her own oddness, her fierceness. . . . If the first half of the book has been polished by retelling, the second half is raw, immediate. . . . Gone is the Nabokovian memoir in which the exquisite past is presented under glass, skewered by a pin. This is the age of instant communication, of forthright, unmediated responses. Winterson has her finger to the wind."Evening Standard (UK)
"Exquisite . . . About survival and triumph but also about deep wounds."LAMDA Literary Review
"Winterson's memoir is a brave and searingly honest account of how she reclaimed her childhood through the power of language. . . . Rich in autobiographical detail, it is as wide and bold an experiment in the memoir form as any so far written. Indeed, one of the most daringand riskiestexperiments this book pulls off is a sudden fast-forward from the world of the lonely, adopted child that we think we know from Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, to the recent present where, in writing that is astonishingly naked and brave, Winterson reveals the legacy of that difficult childhood. . . . Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?is proudly, and sometimes painfully honest. It is also, arguably, the finest and most hopeful memoir to emerge in many years, and, as such, it really should not be missed."The Times (UK)
Provides a vivid picture of the grotesque behaviors of the lunatic mother she refers to as Mrs. Winterson.’ This is a detailed portrait of a life that saved itself. The hard work Winterson did to find her place in the world after growing up as an outsider’s outsider is not exaggerated. We are lucky she survived to tell the tale.”Library Journal (starred review)
"Winterson makes the pages sing. . . . A moving, artfully constructed piece of writing that sustains tension until the last sentence."Sara Wheeler, The Globe and Mail (Favorite Book of the Year)
Idiosyncratic . . . [Winterson] is intense on the page . . . [with] more charisma than a Pentecostal preacher. . . . A sad story, a funny story, a brave story.”The Scotsman
"This is no narrative of victimhood, but one of gratitude. In its lugubrious humor, its striving to find virtue in unlikely places and in its willingness to try to understand the forces that damaged her mother, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? recalls a feminine version of Edmund Gosse's Father and Son. . . . Winterson lends all [her] fierce poetry, intelligence, and epigrammatic punch to [the] prose. . . Thrilling as the author may be in the denunciation of her mother, the tale as a whole foregrounds the woman's vulnerability; empathy keeps breaking through."The Australian
"We are shown 'how it is when the mind works with its own brokenness,' and come to respect Winterson's psychological courage and her rage to love."Sunday Telegraph
"This difficult, spirited, engaging book, with its touching openness and maddening lack of candor, is a resonant affirmation of the power of storytelling to make things better."The Daily Mail
About the Author
Visit her website at jeanettewinterson.com
Product details
- Publisher : Grove Press; First Edition (March 6, 2012)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0802120105
- ISBN-13 : 978-0802120106
- Item Weight : 12 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.75 x 1 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #933,259 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,880 in LGBTQ+ Demographic Studies
- #6,994 in Literary Criticism & Theory
- #12,005 in Women's Biographies
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Jeanette Winterson, OBE (born 27 August 1959) is an award-winning English writer, who became famous with her first book, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, a semi-autobiographical novel about a sensitive teenage girl rebelling against conventional values. Some of her other novels have explored gender polarities and sexual identity. Winterson is also a broadcaster and a professor of creative writing.
Bio from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Photo by Mariusz Kubik, http://www.mariuszkubik.pl [Attribution, GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC BY 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons.
Customer reviews
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It's a hard story. Much of the early part is a little hard to take, but sometimes it seems that people go through tough things and come out stronger on the other end. This seems to be the case with the woman who took charge of her education at Cambridge, and then became the author of many books, one of which became a TV presentation.
Having never heard of Jeanette Winterson made it all the more interesting. There is such talent out in the world that we've never heard of and when we find them, when they touch us with that special touch, we are instantly changed for the better. Since I am a huge audible.com fan and am constantly downloading books there, this book was a recommendation by them and I'm so glad they did.
I delighted in virtually every word, every inflection, and how love prevails, even when it doesn't seem like love. It all depends on our perspective.
I cannot recommend this book enough and especially the unabridged audiobook. Bravo!
Jeanette Winterson grew up in an unhappy, abusive, and religious Pentecostal family. She was adopted at a young age and her mother planned to mold her into a missionary of God. Yet Jeanette heard time and time again that her parents were led to the wrong crib. Jeanette grew up with the knowledge that she never really belonged. She didn't belong to her adoptive parents, she didn't belong to her birth parents, she didn't belong to her public school because she was so religious and she didn't belong to her church because she was a lesbian. She spent many nights outside, alone on her doorstep.
She was kicked out of her home at the age of 16 and was homeless living in her car. Growing up, books were forbidden in her house and so the library became a haven and she began to read every author from A to Z in English Literature. She applied to Oxford and to her surprise got in as the "working class" experiment. Jeanette then writes her first book, Oranges are Not the Only Fruit, when she was 24. Some words of advice: Read Oranges are Not the Only Fruit before you read this book. It will make a big difference.
I once heard that if you don't deal with the trauma of your past, that the trauma will find you and make you deal with it. Well that is what happened to Jeanette. She sunk into a type of madness, became depressed and emerged forever changed. When Jeanette decides to go on with her life she then makes the decision to find her birth mother.
Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal is an amazing memoir. It is not told in a linear fashion but it is full of life and passion. Complex, yet simply told, Winterson bares her soul, telling her readers that she never learned how to love nor how to be loved. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal is an explanation of her book, Oranges and a confession of a very painful past. She divulges her tumultuous past with style, wit and grace all the while showing her readers, wisdom and the strength to endure. I was so inspired and riveted to Jeanette's story and have many passages of wisdom marked in my book. This memoir is deeply personal to Winterson and to me, as the reader. I felt I was looking into the window of her soul.
"Nobody can feel too much, though many of us work very hard at feeling too little.
Feeling is frightening.
Well, I find it so."
Pg. 187
One is left to wonder, without that struggle to survive, what does a writer really have to write?
(This review was not one of those Amazon reviews you've been reading about -- it was not paid for nor solicited -- I bought this book in a bookstore because I thought it looked interesting and I read it cover to cover.)
Top reviews from other countries
I ended up giving the book 4 stars, however, because things improved significantly later on. I found the later chapters fascinating and did eventually warm to the author and begin to feel empathy for her, her birth mother and her adoptive parents.
So this is an autobiography, but it is a long way from a simple linear narrative and factual account of the author's life. It feels more like a collection of episodes, a series of short stories stitched into a tapestry of philosophy, politics, and, yes, ranting. This is a life written by a proud and determined non-linear, parallel thinker, one who sees "real" time as being inconstant, open to manipulation, and capable of being bent, distorted, recycled.
One could fill a page with adjectives describing this book. It is harrowing, devastatingly so. Right from the word go the author drops us straight into the torment of her childhood and her dominating, religiously fanatical adoptive, mother. 'Oranges' was a pretty traumatic experience, but here the author reveals that the truth was even worse. There is poignant moment when Winterson reveals that the sympathetic Testifying Elsie didn't exist, but that she 'couldn't bear to leave her out'. Despite her mother's often horrifying actions (and the author cycles back through both 20th century history and the Crucible, describing her Mcarthy-ite religious fundamentalism), it is clear from the start that their relationship is far from monochrome. Very early on, within a few lines on the same page, the daughter talks about her mother hating to be a nobody, and then goes on to say that she herself doesn't see the point of being anything if you have no ambition for it. These are two people with at least as many similarities as differences. It is in describing her mother that she brings out one of the most interesting concepts in the book, that of people's size, basically psychological size and whether it is appropriate for their environment. It is to such a mismatch that she ascribes much of the trouble with her mother, portraying her as a colossus, dominating but constrained by her surroundings. The author sees a similar struggle in herself, but contrasts her mother's internalising of it with her own externalising.
There is a great deal of sadness, as might be expected from such a troubled childhood, both from the sadness of our narrator's experiences, and from the impact on later life. In one devastating early phrase, she describes adoption as being like a "hole at the start", "raising weals". She describes her self imposed difficulty in keeping childhood friends, a difficulty which has a melancholy but inevitable echo right at the end of the book.
Alongside the sadness there is also happiness, or at least hope. It is a hope tinged with pain as she describes any attempt to improve things initially having the opposite effect, but hope none the less. She describes herself as a lover of life, in contrast to her mother, and a striver after happiness. In particular there is great tenderness and love when she describes her current partner, although one comes always to fear whether she can sustain that.
Even though there is much that is troubling this is not a heavy or difficult read. Winterson's love of literature is (not unexpectedly) a significant feature, and her visits to the library as she tackles English literature alphabetically bring a great deal of humour. I laughed at loud with a librarian who used the Dewey decimal system to explain or understand Jung.
On top of all of this, what Winterson presents is (assuming we can take it at face value and she isn't once more reading herself as fiction) an extremely honest account, often searingly so. One of the clearest examples of this is when she describes a period which she describes as madness, and during which she converses with "the creature", bringing to mind Churchill's black dog or even Andy Serkis's Smeagol/Gollum.
At its heart this is a book about the effect of adoption and about the impact of one particular deeply troubled person, Mrs Winterson, on the author's whole life. As such it is a book of contrasts, of contradiction and ultimately of a degree of reconciliation. The contradictions are there everywhere one looks. Mrs Winterson's, the arch fundamentalist acceptance of science, or Jeanette's problems with religion, and her view of it as a defence against materialism. Within this, our narrator's description of the north is as complicated as everything else. It is straightforward description of a traditional, conservative culture in the 50s and 60s; it feels at times like a stereotypical adopted southerner's view of cloth caps, whippets and eternal rain; it is a rejection of a patriarchal society; it is a romanticisation of working class community values; above all it feels like a symbol for her mother, grown in size to represent and be represented by a whole region.
So finally, this is a wonderful book. The moving, inspiring, troubling,thought provoking subject matter is also beautifully written. Right near the start I was delighted by the author's description of herself as a baby "A burping, spraying, sprawling, faecal thing blasting the house with rude life". This is opinionated, polemical scatter-gun writing which I found sometimes exasperating, with which I, at times disagreed, but which is always approachable and despite the darkness, frequently entertaining.
Very highly recommended.






