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Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type 1st Edition
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Praise for Helen Fisher:
"Fascinating…. An original and uniquely contemporary approach to a sensation that, for millennia, has been considered purely emotional." —The Washington Post on Why We Love
"A thesis with startling ramifications." —The New York Times Book Review on Why We Love
"Delightful to read, offering an abundance of fascinating facts." —The New York Times on Anatomy of Love
About the Author
Helen Fisher, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading experts on the nature of romantic love and attachment, is the chief scientific adviser to Chemistry.com, a division of Match.com. She is the author of four previous books, two of which—The First Sex and The Anatomy of Love—were New York Times Notable Books. A research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, she lives in New York City.
Top Customer Reviews
She defines four basic personality temperaments or traits that exist in all individuals with one being dominate and another secondary. Characteristic of Explorers is tendencies for novelty, enthusiasm, risk-taking, spontaneity, irreverence, adventure, etc. Dopamine is associated with Explorers. Builders are conventional, calm, moral, rule-based, respectful of authority, somewhat cautious, loyal, etc. Serotonin is the chemical that is most closely associated with Builders. Directors are analytical, logical, self-controlled, independent, somewhat competitive, decisive, etc. Testosterone dominates in Directors. Negotiators are very social, intuitive, sympathetic, idealistic, tolerant, agreeable, etc. The author claims that it is estrogen that enables both men and women to have enhanced holistic thinking capability. There seems to be no assertions that one personality is better than another or that such personalities are associated with levels of intelligence.
The author strongly suggests that, if accurately assessed, that these four traits go a long ways toward predicting both attraction and aversion.Read more ›
Other reviews cover the material in the book.
Let me say first that the backbone of her research has been done before. There are 4 personality types. They have been called many things by different authors. The reason I don't mind that is that the author acknowledges the fact, and provides the source material. She then ties the personality types with brain chemistry, and does it convincingly. I haven't seen that before.
Sure, she mentions her work with two online dating services. But it's part of the story, and to omit that would cheat the reader. Any author worth their salt would mention the work they have done in the past. In fact, her work for these companies is the basis of much of her research.
She includes quotations from philosophers, businesspeople, even Einstein.
These quotations add to the reading by showing what type(personality type, that is) of person thinks in what way.
She includes personal stories that, if they were missing, would make this a harder read.
Some of what she says has been covered before...but there isn't a book written that covers JUST new material. The way I see it, for $20 you got a few hours of intelligent introspection into what makes you the way you are...how others perceive you...and what others will be attracted (and repelled) in you. Certainly worth the price.
By the way, I'm 100% Director, married to a near 100% Negotiator. According to the book, we're a perfect match. And we are.
added 3/04/09 I noticed that most of the bad reviews are for the CD. I read the book. It must be a different experience.
sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, melancholic (Galen)
hedone, propraietare, dialogike, ethikos (Aristotle)
artistic, sensible, reasoning, intuitive (Plato)
blood, phlegm, yellow bile, black bile (Hippocrates)
manic, depressive, aggressive, oversensitive (Kretschmer)
Her chapter titles for these types are: Drink Life to the Lees, A Pillar of Society, Always the Stars, The Philosopher King. She is very positive and educational in describing these types and I don't think many people will be turned off by her treatment of them. She includes many nice one liners and quotes as well as a mini autobiography of a famous person for each type.
The second half of the book addresses the question posed as the title of the book. She reports that all types can be very happy with any type and that there are dozens of factors from the "nurture" side that are involved in mate selection but from the "nature" side there appears to be a tendency for Explorers to want to be with other Explorers ("play mates"), for Builders to want to be with other Builders ("help mates"), both reflecting like attracts like and birds of a feather, for Directors to want to be with Negotiators and vice versa reflecting how opposites attract.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Terrible Book! .... Not because it is completely wrong. Not because it has absolutely nothing to offer. It does. But it is a terrible book to spend time, money and effort reading. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Knowledge Hunter
This book was worth every dime and second invested, not wasted, in reading it! WOW WOW WOW!! GREAT BOOK DEFINATE MUST READPublished 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
This love theory proves that women can definitely control in our male manipulated society using their knowledge and skills and not just their sexy looks! Read morePublished 2 months ago by Karen
Such a fascinating topic. Wonderful to learn more about myself and my partner. A must read for anyone thinking of getting into a relationship, or for anyone who's been in a... Read morePublished 3 months ago by Anna Sasser
Amazing read. Ive read it twice and want to read it again to keep gaining a stronger perspective on all of the great facts/analyses she gives to the reader :)Published 5 months ago by Amazon Customer
Reading this book confirmed so many things I knew intuitively but had never before openly realized. I have a much better sense of myself and the type of partner I'm looking for. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Todd
I really enjoyed reading this book. It opened my eyes. Not only because it helps me understanding what kind of person is suitable for me, but more so helps me understanding who I... Read morePublished 9 months ago by Korikori