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Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship Paperback – October 1, 2002

by Sherry Argov (Author)

2,005 customer reviews

in Mate Seeking

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Do you feel like you are too nice? Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask:

Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change?
Why do men take nice girls for granted?
Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself?

Full of advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, "she says/he thinks" tables, and the author's unique "Attraction Principles," Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you've discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you'll not only increase the romantic chemistry-you'll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Contending that some women are "too nice," comedian and radio show host Sherry Argov has written Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. "I'm not recommending that a woman have an abrasive disposition," Argov writes, "The woman I'm describing is kind yet strong. She doesn't give up her life, and she won't chase a man." Her sassy book is filled with scenarios and advice aimed at making women subtly stronger and self-empowered. Argov's principles, which range from the farfetched to the downright absurd, include "If you give him a feeling of power, he'll want to protect you and he'll want to give you the world" and "A little distance combined with the appearance of self-control makes him nervous that he may be losing you." The book, which has already been featured on The View and The O'Reilly Factor, should make waves with its controversial view of relationships.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“A self-help classic.” (Daily Mail)

“America’s top relationship guide.” (The Book Tribe)

“One of ‘The 10 Most Iconic Relationship Books of the Past Ten Years.’” (Yahoo!)

“Men don’t really go for ‘nice.’ They go for ‘interesting.’” (Chicago Sun-Times)

“We’re talking about having so much self-respect, Aretha Franklin would high-five you.” (Los Angeles Times)

“The pejorative meaning of the word ‘bitch’ has been reclaimed... it means a strong, feisty woman who has moxie, and knows when to use it. A bitch is... sap free.” (Pursuit Magazine)

“[Argov is] talking about a strong woman. Someone who knows what she’s doing in life. Someone who will share the load, but who will stand her ground.” (Joy Behar, Co-host of The View)

“Sherry Argov shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one.” (The Today Show)

“The Best of Culture.” (Esquire)

“A hot book!” (Fox News Channel)

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Product details

Paperback: 255 pages
Publisher: Adams Media; 6th ed. edition (October 1, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1580627560
ISBN-13: 978-1580627566
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 2,005 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,264 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Mate Seeking
- #5 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Dating
- #35 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Romance

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Missy

Changed my world, I actually wrote to the author.

April 26, 2017

Format: Paperback

2 years ago, this book completely changed my life.
This is a lengthy review because that's how much of an impact this book has made for me.

First off, let me start by telling you about me. I'm in my 20s, educated, and have a great career. I always had confidence but I never knew how to bring it out and when I did, I was scared of coming off "too strong," or hurt someone's feeling. This book shifted my mindset completey.

It was 2015 and I had felt like I met the love of my life. He was charming, tall, sunkissed complexion, well established, funny, and not to be served for America - how much more can I get? I pinched myself constantly. As the weeks went by, the curiosity of me finding someone "so perfect" that was single started to dawn on me. I just couldn't believe how so unexpected, I had met "the love of my life."
To ease my curiosity, I repeatedly asked if was seeing someone, whom, after many repeated questions he finally say "Yes. But I met her 2 weeks before you and I just don't know what to do." I felt like my whole world crash down within 2 minutes. I asked him "What is it about her you like?" He mentioned things about her that this book had mentioned, "She has a life of her own, she doesn't need me but wants me and she's just a BITCH. But in a good way - I can't explain it!" At the time I didn't realize why he was drawn to her. I questioned, "A bitch? Who wants to date a bitch? Who wants to date something that doesn't invest time in you?" But when we finally met.. I realized why.
Long story short, I ran out his house crying so hard I lost my balance and hit the floor, on my hands and knees. I looked back to see he wasn't chasing me, but instead shaking his head in disappointment. I went to my car, shut the door, and sat there crying on my steering wheel in broad daylight. After my tears sobered up, I felt angry because I knew this wasn't who I was (to cry over a guy) and how stupid I looked.
I decided to go to a bookstore to read on "self help" books, I was that serious on NEVER EVER crying over a guy. He was my first and my last. I came across this book and what caught my attention was "BITCH". The words of him describing the other girl played in my head over and over - I HAD to read this book.
Within 2 days I finished the book and my life did a complete 180. I must admit today it's still a power struggle but I am no longer that "weak" girl who's "scared" of being confident because it's going to "offend" someone. I am utterly myself with no regrets.
This book isn't about how to get a man (which is honestly why I read it based on the title) but a book of self-empowerment and how to drive that energy into full gear. It was the push I needed to drive my little ego up the wall. It helps mold you into whom you want to be without telling you who you HAVE to be. Don't be that girl that cares about what he thinks, says or do. Don't be that girl that waits 3 hours on a date to find out he stood you up. DON'T BE "THAT" GIRL.
After reading this book I realized the whole time I was "THAT" girl, and the other girl was the BITCH.

I highly recommend this book so much. It's not boring and it's so insightful. It's not the "cliche" advice you hear. It helps you handle difficult situations from relationships to sex to even why he does things.

Remember, men wear the pants, but woman control the zipper :)

267 people found this helpful268 people found this helpful

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Reviewer

Almost RUINED a long term relationship

March 20, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I have a love/hate relationship with this book...(maybe like 20% Love and 80% HATE). Fundamentally, this book would be for someone new to the dating world. I can understand and appreciate the advice of not giving away too much too soon, and to make sure he is interested just as much as you are and want the same things so you don't waste your time. Value yourself and don't settle for someone who doesn't appreciate you.

That being said, the advice for people in long term relationship is garbage. I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and reading this book almost RUINED EVERYTHING. If you are in a long tern relationship and you are told by a book to 'pull away' emotionally and physically until he sees what he is missing...then you are not in a relationship with a man, you are in a relationship with a BOY. This book should be titled "Why BOYS loves bitches". That would make more sense. If you continually want to play this cat and mouse game with your boyfriend then go for it. But it will leave you exhausted and unfulfilled.

I tried following the 'advice' given in this book and we suffered because 'pulling away' and waiting for him to figure out what's wrong is absolute BS. I felt misunderstood, confused and angry that he couldn't read my mind. Then I realized "I'm an ADULT. This MAN that I am dating is an ADULT. We should be ADULTS and not play juvenile games."

Both men and women deal with conflict differently. To think that ALL men respond to their woman pulling away or disappearing for the weekend is completely unfair. Maybe some BOYS respond to that. Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same.

If I could suggest anything to women in relationships, it would be to read books that place a value on understanding your partner and their communication skills vs a book like this where you punish your partner for them not behaving the way you want them to.

Books like "The 5 Love Languages" and "Insecure in Love" are PHENOMENAL and I can honestly say my relationship is better and stronger after reading them. I now come from a place of respect and we communicate better and really understand where the other is coming from.

If you choose to read this book, fair enough, but this is NOT the Bible on how relationships should work.

95 people found this helpful96 people found this helpful

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WiseSam

BUY THE BOOK! You won't regret it!!!

September 14, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Where do I begin? Its been 3 years since I started dating again...I am now 56, divorced after 10 years. I bought this book 2 years ago and boy am I glad I did! Perhaps they need to change the title as it may make some people think the absolute worse in womanhood. Nothing could be further from the truth.
This book showed me everything I had been doing wrong in my relationships with men. I'm a career RN, very successful. I'm smart and savvy with my money(credit score 800) and already paid off my mortgage(in 20 years, all by myself). With all that going for me, I would allow myself to be a DOORMAT. Not good ladies! Wake up and buy this book!!! Ever since I read it, my relationships are no longer one-sided with me doing all the chasing. I had my pick of successful men my age. I finally met my fiancee last year in November and he proposed this past June!
This will be the 4th book I buy as I feel COMPELLED to give it out to the women in my life so they too can find happiness!

39 people found this helpful40 people found this helpful

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TracyLynnSD

Unbelievable how common sense it is yet some STILL won't get it

October 29, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Spot on....Get a life THEN get the guy!! Don't be so available ALL the time. Be confident. Even be a little aloof....but be ever so loving (eventually) Just do your thing and don't cling.....don't beg.....don't be desperate. Common Sense stuff delivered with an enormous side of humor!!!!

8 people found this helpful9 people found this helpful

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BeccaW

GREAT BOOK! Just wish I'd had it 40 years ...

December 31, 2014

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

GREAT BOOK! Just wish I'd had it 40 years ago! But it's very helpful, even now at my advanced age (62). I highly recommend it to all the "nice girls" out there who continually end up hurt and disappointed in romantic relationships, as I did for years. It has some great insights that I'd never considered before, as well as some surprises. Overall, well done!

31 people found this helpful32 people found this helpful

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