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Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour Hardcover – January 26, 2010
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Top Customer Reviews
The book is written with Angela Hunt, a seasoned Christian writer. This was a great choice, as the book is well-written and riveting, hard to put down.
I began the book intrigued about how Gayle Haggard recovered from seemingly insurmountable betrayal. And I thought that perhaps I could learn something about love and forgiveness that could help me in my own marriage. Gayle's choice to stay could indeed have been written off to denial and weakness, but I suspected something different. And I found it.
Gayle describes the scandal from her point of view in detail. She then walks the reader through the steps she took to choose love and forgiveness for Ted, and why she made this choice; of course, the decision itself was a process, not a one time event.Read more ›
She jumps right into the problems of the marriage, not wasting a couple hundred pages telling readers about her upbringing. Instead she starts with meeting her husband and quickly goes through their years of building their Colorado ministry into a mega-church.
She fills these early pages with self-centered emotion, never stopping to ask obvious questions like why she broke up an engagement with another guy for this man she didn't like at first. Or why a man who had never led a church decides to pick up and move far away and start a church from scratch. Or why they sent away their mentally disabled son to Kentucky when they had been told it was best for him to live at home. So early on she exposes a lack of self-perception that becomes even more clear once the scandal is exposed.
Most shocking is her writing about the days when Haggard revealed he had done drugs (it's confirmed here even though he continued to claim publicly it wasn't true) and had a homosexual affair. She again goes inside her emotions and immediately starts to try to save her marriage, her family and her job (she was getting paid to be a women's leader at the church her husband pastured). Instead of realizing that what her husband did was a lengthy breech of rust with her or his gigantic church, she callously responds that she thinks the people in the church should sympathize with him since he has now proven that he's not perfect and is a sinner, just like his followers.Read more ›
But what was most fascinating to me, and I think will be for many people, is what happened with the Haggards and the church they started--their forced separation and exile and the other half of the story about Ted's so-called "restoration" as a Christian. How the Haggards were treated by their church and other "Christians" is absolutely appalling. This will be a fascinating book for people who are at all interested in, baffled by, or irritated by religion and/or evangelical Christians, who are the ones that need to read this book more than anyone else.
Why I Stayed is a mirror evangelicals need to look into if they want to get a glimpse of how others view them. If they want to be taken seriously and not seen as self-righteous, they need to actually practice the love, forgiveness, and grace that they preach. Reading this book with an open mind would be a convicting way to start.
At the beginning of the book, Gayle details how she met Ted and gives an overview of their thirty year marriage and ministry together--crucial information to know in order to understand the scandal that erupted in November of 2006.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
While I admire that Gayle Haggard remained with her husband through the ordeal and frequently shared her Christian values and scripture verses to emphasize the restoring grace of... Read morePublished 17 days ago by Mike Dunn
I wasn't really sure what to expect when I picked up Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour by Gayle Haggard (as a side note, this book is co-written by Angela Hunt,... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Denise McFarland
This precious story makes you realize that too often the way we think things should be done when there is moral failure is the exact opposite of what Jesus would do.Published 3 months ago by Mom of 4
Very good. Real people going through real life. She really is a remarkable woman.Published 6 months ago by jill
I read this book not as a fan of either Gayle or Ted. I had no real prior knowledge about them other than a few news snippets when the events occurred. Read morePublished 8 months ago by M. Parker
Few people are capable of the type of honesty this pastor's wife shared. I am glad to see this family is back up and out in the public finishing the "good work" they... Read morePublished 11 months ago by Patricia Whitt
I don't remember why I first bought this book. I've had it for several years but God led me to read it now when I most needed it. Read morePublished 13 months ago by Doll Girl 3
This book inspired me to stay faithful to God our Father and to love and forgive
others for the glory of God
I picked this up because I thought it would be good to read a true account of infidelity in a Christian marriage that didn't end in divorce. Read morePublished 14 months ago by Natalie Vellacott