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Why Women Shouldn't Marry: Being Single by Choice Paperback – April 2, 2008
"Neverworld Wake" by Marisha Pessl
Read the absorbing new psychological suspense thriller from acclaimed New York Times bestselling author Marisha Pessl. Learn more
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Of course, a chapter is included about having children without a marriage partner or not having them at all, "The Motherhood Option: Non-Mothers and Single Mothers." But the most riveting chapter for me was the one called "Closet Singles," a category into which I think these authors would have put me. This chapter described single women who live successful, independent lives full of friends, activities and dates, but who just can't seem to find the person we want to settle down with. These women constantly talk about wanting to be married and are endlessly searching for their husbands-to-be, but the dynamics of their lives really don't accommodate a partner. I'm guessing Smith and Smith would have called me a "Closet Single" because I spent years dating and being 100% certain I wanted to be a wife, while dismissing potential partner after potential partner.
I think it's terrible that this book is out of print. We need more books like this! How do you go about pressuring a publisher to re-print a book?
The title of this book is a bit misleading. The authors of this book do not argue that women shouldn't marry, but rather warn women against marrying for the wrong reasons. We may marry because we are insecure about our age or worried about our fertility. Or we may choose to marry a man of "better" financial or social standing because we believe he will make up for our own shortcomings. Or we may marry simply because we believe that is what we are supposed to do. None of these are good reasons to marry, and will likely lead to an unhappy union, and ultimately, divorce. In short, you're much better off alone.
The underlying message of this book is that you should only marry a man for the person that he is (NOT what he has, i.e. money, social standing, etc.) and only if you have a deep and sincere desire to be married. The book uses stories of women who have married for both the right and the wrong reasons to illustrate this point.
Because women now have the ability to support themselves, there is no reason to marry other than for love. It's too bad this book isn't more widely read, because it is a book that women need.