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Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts Paperback – October 10, 2017
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If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, "Why Won t You Apologize"? is the answer. This book is a game changer. --Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Rising Strong"
I love Harriet Lerner s work! --Anne Lamott, author of Help, Thanks, Wow and Bird by Bird"
A profoundly insightful look into the many ways humans hurt each other and the power of apology to restore broken relationships. Harriet Lerner has written a valuable guide for both those who deserve an apology and those who owe one.--John Kador, author of Effective Apology"
"With her signature punch and humor, Harriet Lerner tackles the injuries that occur inmarriage, family and friendship. Her advice for repairinghurts and earning forgiveness is fresh, profound, life-affirming and immediately useful."--Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of How Can I Forgive You?"
""The Dance of Apology" is at once practical and profound. Itguides us through the most difficult places in human relationships--"being "wronged and "doing "wrong. The stories Lerner tells are unforgettable and full of heart, making each chapter worth the price of admission. Read this book, then pass it on to the non-apologizer."--Monica McGoldrick, M.A., LCSW, Ph.D. (Honorary), Director of the Multicultural Family Institute in Highland Park, New Jersey"
About the Author
Harriet Lerner, PhD is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for several decades. A distinguished lecturer, consultant, and psychotherapist, she is the author of numerous scholarly articles and popular books, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger and Why Won’t You Apologize?. She and her husband live in Lawrence, Kansas and have two grown sons.
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She talks about the value of apologies, how you shouldn't necessarily expect one immediately, and how to process what is said and deal with taking time to cool off or evaluate what is said before launching into a discussion of the things that bother each person involved that cause hurt feelings.
What I did enjoy about this book was how she addresses the philosophy of "you must forgive in order to move on." I've always had difficulty with this logic. Sometimes, people do such bad things I don't know how one could possibly forgive them. The author in this book agrees that sometimes, some people just do not deserve to be forgiven and that you are not a bad person, nor are you "not moving forward" if you cannot forgive someone who mistreated you.