From the Inside Flap
Have you ever wanted to be someone else so desperately that you wished for it with everything you had? Closed your eyes at night and prayed you would wake up as someone else? Would sacrifice anything to just not be you for another day? That's how I used to feel when I first came here, fourteen years ago a screaming child of four, crying as my parents walked out of this place without me.
I stayed like that for a long time, too, a black hole of emotion. I'd destroy any light that came too close. I cursed the world and everyone who dwelled upon it.
It was six years ago that I was lying in my private cell in The Holy Sanctuary for the Criminally Insane--or the Cement Giant as me and the other inmates called it--and had one of those moments, the kind where I could see beyond the confines I'd erected in my mind. The bars that had kept my mind in this dark place, as surely as the cement walls kept my body, weakened and rusted away.
I don't know why it happened. Maybe it was simply age or maturity, but the anger that had been pouring out of me like a spigot on full blast started to slow. I realized that this was it, the only life I was going to get. I could either let myself rot here in misery or I could find a way out. I'd already gotten one second chance. I'd survived when so many others hadn't. Was I really going to waste it here?
See the thing is, I'm a Plaguer, one who's had the Bloody Death and lived. That's not something many can say. When the Bloody Death hit the world a hundred and fifty years ago, it had a zero percent rate of survival. From what I've heard and read, one day no one had ever heard of the Bloody Death, and the next it ripped through the human population like a forest fire after a six-month drought. And just like a fire, it killed fast and painfully. People would be up walking around fine, only to fall bleeding on the street one moment, and gripped in agony and dead the next.
From the records left behind of that time, ninety-five percent of the population contracted the Bloody Death and all of them died during the initial outbreak. Not to mention that it didn't spring up and then disappear. No, it's been coming back every ten or twenty years. You don't have to be a math genius to know those odds suck. I guess it's a good thing there were so many humans to start with or we might have gone the way of the dinosaurs.
Everyone is fearful of when the next wave might hit. Maybe that outbreak will be the one to end us all. It's not like anyone knew where the Bloody Death came from, or why it still mysteriously showed back up from time to time, which added to the fear. The unknown and all that? Some people have a real hang-up about not knowing things. I don't understand that fear, but maybe it was because as a Plaguer, I've always known more than I wanted.
When rumors started creeping up about how a teeny tiny percent of the population, something like less than .001%, was surviving, most people thought it was a lie. Plaguers are so rare you can go your whole life never meeting one, but I'm living proof they exist.
The first couple of days after I'd survived the Bloody Death, I'd thought I was the luckiest girl to walk the Earth. I was young when it happened, only four and so full of childish delusions. Children can be like that before life teaches them better.
I still regard myself as lucky, but now I know survival comes at a cost. The Bloody Death changes you, makes you see things. They say these things aren't true, but I know better. They say all Plaguers are psychotic, contaminated and ruined, need to be locked away to protect society from the evil they spew about monsters.
I say they're blind. But maybe willfully so. I know what the Plaguers before me have said. I've seen the things they've seen. There's a reason no one wanted to believe them. I understand why they hide us in places like this.
The people here, they tell me that this is the only safe place for me. That I would be killed if I'd been born somewhere else, like the Wilds, which encompasses the vast majority of what used to be the United States now except for the small slivers pieced out to form the few smaller countries that exist.
I'd prefer to take my chances. I didn't survive the Bloody Death to only go on and live as if I were truly dead. If I was meant to be alive, I didn't want to walk this Earth--I wanted to truly live it, dance and revel in everything it had to offer, feel every sensation and emotion open to the human psyche. I would. Even if it took me until I was a hundred and I only had one single day of freedom, I would not die here; I would die living.
The door to my cell opened and startled me. It wasn't time for the daily release yet. I looked up from my bed, already dressed for the day in the simple white dresses we were given, to the guard.
"You're getting a visitor."
I let out a sigh. It was going to be one of those days.