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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Hardcover – September 23, 2008
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From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. After 26 years of practice, therapist McBride discovered a distressing commonality with her female patients: a narcissistic mother. I had treated scores of women who shared many of the same symptoms.... oversensitivity, indecisiveness, self-consciousness, lack of self-trust, inability to succeed in relationships, lack of confidence... and a general sense of insecurity, McBride writes, and she ties these traits to growing up without a nurturing maternal figure. According to the author, as many as 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder and can be detected by their self-absorption, inability to empathize and fixation with looks and appearance. McBride presents specific steps toward recovery that daughters of any age can use as they grieve for the love and support they didn't receive, set healthy boundaries with their mothers and access an internal mother as a source of self-comforting. The author provides parenting tips as well as advice on maintaining healthy love relationships and friendships—all of which tend to be weak points of the daughters of narcissistic mothers. An excellent bibliography rounds out this revealing book, which ends on a hopeful and pragmatic note. (Sept.)
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"The author provides parenting tips as well as advice on maintaining healthy love relationships and friendships." ---Publishers Weekly Starred Review --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Top customer reviews
Please read this book if you even suspect you have a diminishing, overly self-centered mother. It is such a taboo in our society. It is a very hard concept to accept, which Dr. McBride reiterates over and over. We have been trained to be "good girls" and we all want that ideal family in our heads. Outwardly, my parents are still married, their three daughters grew up and flew the coup and they got a dog. Behind the curtain is a nightmare. Now when people ask me if I'm close to my mom I say "nope". I'm done carrying on the torch of pain, delusion and BS. This doesn't mean I will stop talking to her or retaliate in any way, it just brings me out of a deluded, painful and ineffective way of living my life, which is not at all the real me. I wish the best for both of us.
I find that this book fails to cover the manipulation we suffered and the distrust it causes. Dr. McBride doesn't cover the "how" either. She constantly stops mid explanation to say she will go more in depth on a subject in later chapters, which (never really happens and) fails to do. This is a quick book, not a deep read. The "recovering" portion, Part Three, is superficial and obvious. Yes, we must love ourselves and gain acceptance and understanding and move forward. Like I said earlier, she doesn't go into the "how" we go about doing this.
This book isn't for young women, or women who aren't focused on romance. Women who are too scared for romance get about a page dedicated to them. Not for those who want vast, clear, and forward explanations. This book was constantly cushioning the reader. I find that daughters of narcassistic mothers do not was fluffy words to comfort us: those types of things scare us. We reject them. We tense up and we automatically have disbelief and start arguing with the words to protect ourselves. I found that by the end of the book, I was more irritated with her than at peace.
It was alright. A quick, soft read. I didn't get answers, but it gave me some insight.