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on October 9, 2015
Before I read this book, I wasn't certain my wife and I would ever reconcile. We were separated and she didn't seem to care if we ever got back together again. I read this book and it was exactly what I needed! God began to open my eyes to the ways I had let down my wife and what I needed to do to fix it. The biggest takeaway for me was that she needed to feel safe with me and to feel adored, but to do that, I needed own up to my part in our failing marriage. This may seem like common sense, and it is, but Dr. Smalley has a way of making you think about your situation and act on it without beating you up.

Since I have read this book, I see my wife in a new light. She has let her guard down and is relying on me again. Now, I can't wait to see her and talk with her every day, and I love and adore her now more than at any time in our relationship. And guess what - I feel more loved and adored than ever! I have already recommended this book to a friend and I encourage every man that is trying to fix a struggling or failing marriage to read this book and apply its principles. You will not regret it!
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on January 5, 2016
My husband didn't loose me. However, he did loose a lot of my trust, respect, energy, and enthusiasm in pursuing him as one who's reliable, trustworthy, caring, and wise to consider the true meaning and purpose of relationships, family, and friends. I tried to be sensitive in discussing this book with him. I thank God that somethings in this book doesn't apply to us, such as physical and sexual abuse between the two of us; though both of us have, in different levels, suffered such hardships in the past, before we met.

We are reading it together, not before praying, asking God to open our hearts and minds to the many great and very true insights and strategies this author offers, especially for those who have reached separation, which isn't our case and we hope and pray it won't be. I trust it's wise to read this book before things get out of hand...things get a lot more difficult when we are not careful to place important boundaries on how we allow our emotions to take over our mouths, attitudes, and behavior, which definitely leads to mutual attacks, hurt, controlling, and manipulative tendencies. At the moment, we are both trying to avoid getting to the point "of no return", although hurtful things we say to each other already qualify for going too far and beyond. Why? Although we may experience mutual regret, repentance, and forgiveness, we can never take back awful mean words we said to one another! Therefore, even if you haven't reached the point of leaving your husband yet things are tough; perhaps you live under the same roof but sleep in different beds; perhaps your children must grieve and stress over your constant fights; whatever the case, my husband and I highly recommend this book for those husbands (perhaps wives as well) who aren't living in peace and harmony, who have separated or are even divorced, and for husbands who do great at footing the bill yet know you can do a lot better, even though yours is a tough, Godly wife who doesn't say much about the hurt she holds inside, especially when you keep yourself "too busy" to listen and talk to her, except when you ask her "what's for dinner?"!

After 9 years of struggling, praying, crying, and asking him to seek counsel support, I went from being a healthy active hardworking wife, mother, fitness instructor & personal trainer, to unable to walk and hardly move. Two major spinal surgeries and knee surgery last year, and I saw myself living the worst of our relationship when I needed him the most (in the past five years!). He is now in counseling, trying to learn to accept that men do have emotions and that burying past hurts and hardships isn't the way to understand how our childhood molds into who we are today and it certainly isn't the way to overcome the various emotional and behavioral problems that sooner or later, spring and surface in one warped way or another,

In our 13th year of marriage, I am on the mend and could never do as well as I do, if I were to do it without my God given sweetheart, husband, best friend, caregiver, supporter, and lover! Our child deserves far better from us and we both have our share of work to do, including finish off reading this book! Other married couples, their children and extended families are my main reason for feeling compelled to write this review. However, when it comes to this book, about half way or a bit beyond reading it and I can truthfully testify that our relationship has taken a turn for the much better. It's not perfect and no relationship in this side of eternity is! Not in this planet, anyhow! LOL! Yet we believe every life is a God given opportunity for learning, growing, retaining what's good, changing what's bad or simply doesn't work, for caring for another at the very least as well as we do ourselves, and for waking up to the reality that love isn't an emotion but a choice and action, and that marriage isn't a contract where each spouse pursue happiness, expecting both will provide it for each other in the exact way each one, who are but two opposite beings, to say the least (for that, we have God Who explains why the differences in male and female!), rather than accepting marriage for the covenant that it is, expecting to give, rather than to take! This book, along with many others, is definitely worthy your try! But far better than this book, your wife, your children and yourself deserve reading this and change things where things went wrong!
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on April 17, 2018
Decent book, football analogies were a bit overdone, but it does simplify things I guess.

Unfortunately, it was too late as my wife admitted she wanted a divorce before I could finish the book. Perhaps I bought it a year too late.

However, the book actually covers the reality of it sometimes being too late for reconciliation and points the reader to become closer to God and concentrate on the most important relationship any man can have.

I feel this is a lifesaving measure in a stormy life changing event, this was probably the hidden reason I bought the book, but it helped and brought a bit of clarity into MY life as to what was truly the most important primary relationship in a Christian's life.

This might have helped save my marriage if bought and read a bit earlier...again, it did point my focus to God and I now attend evening service on a somewhat regular basis. If my work schedule changes, I will get to regular Sunday service and I look forward to that.

Still figuring out how to ask God for help as I have always been the one leaned upon by family and friends. No one ever taugh me, so I am learning on my own, with my heavenly father's help.

May God bless anyone going through this same nightmare. I have been told the is peace and clarity on the other side of the storm.
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on October 15, 2017
This book was a refreshing wake-up call. I had attended one of Mr. Smalley's Marriage Courses many years ago and figured I was following through. Big Surprise, there were many areas in which I needed drastic correction and improvement, and this book pointed them out. Perhaps you are not in the throughs of separation or divorce, but why not avoid the pain by upping your game and honoring your wife and marriage before there is a problem.
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on February 18, 2018
The football metaphors used in this book are overwhelming and cheesy to the point to nausea. That said, once I looked past that this book was a helpful resource. Also, if your conviction is adamantly against divorce, you won't like the authors' position. This is still a helpful book, but I wish they took a more conservative stance on divorce.
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on March 22, 2018
It's really good at pointing out the correct direction a man should take for reconciling with his wife. It goes a little overboard with suggesting to treat your wife like Royality while you should bow your own head in shame as if you're not worth your own salt. It's Just a little unrealistic, but you get the point.
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on October 9, 2015
I bought three books on porn to help my husband's addiction and hoping to save our marriage. One book for him, one book for me and one for us. I asked him to read this along with the others. He did. We've been at several cross roads regarding this awful, devasting, marriage destroying addiction. When he read it, I saw a change in him. I feel he is more educated about what he has done and how it affects not only him but others as well. Thankfully there are books like this one available to help others. It's been a year since we've read the books, we are still together. We needed help. Will keep this book and reread it. This is a very sensitive subject, being open minded is helpful to recovery. I also have read this book, it helped me to feel better about myself, and know he can change if he chooses to. You're not alone and there is help available. It's a struggle for my husband and he has had relapses. This is one of the hardest battles that I have endured. I am better educated about the porn and it's unrelenting grasp on individuals. I know my husband loves me and he is trying. This book has helped us both. I think it also needs to be reread.
7 people found this helpful
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on May 11, 2017
It helped me identify most of my insecurities and problems I was making my wife be pushed further away. It's so simple to accomplish if you truly want to change and love your wife
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on February 19, 2018
After reading the book I realize I was doing a lot wrong. Great book. Shipping good , book in good Conrad stated in write up.
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on December 14, 2016
I ordered this along with the husband one. My husband said it really helped break things down. He says things are explained with football analogies, but it helps really explain how to better understand your wife. Keep in mind that this is a Christian based book, so if you're not into that, this book isn't for you.
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