on January 5, 2016
My husband didn't loose me. However, he did loose a lot of my trust, respect, energy, and enthusiasm in pursuing him as one who's reliable, trustworthy, caring, and wise to consider the true meaning and purpose of relationships, family, and friends. I tried to be sensitive in discussing this book with him. I thank God that somethings in this book doesn't apply to us, such as physical and sexual abuse between the two of us; though both of us have, in different levels, suffered such hardships in the past, before we met.
We are reading it together, not before praying, asking God to open our hearts and minds to the many great and very true insights and strategies this author offers, especially for those who have reached separation, which isn't our case and we hope and pray it won't be. I trust it's wise to read this book before things get out of hand...things get a lot more difficult when we are not careful to place important boundaries on how we allow our emotions to take over our mouths, attitudes, and behavior, which definitely leads to mutual attacks, hurt, controlling, and manipulative tendencies. At the moment, we are both trying to avoid getting to the point "of no return", although hurtful things we say to each other already qualify for going too far and beyond. Why? Although we may experience mutual regret, repentance, and forgiveness, we can never take back awful mean words we said to one another! Therefore, even if you haven't reached the point of leaving your husband yet things are tough; perhaps you live under the same roof but sleep in different beds; perhaps your children must grieve and stress over your constant fights; whatever the case, my husband and I highly recommend this book for those husbands (perhaps wives as well) who aren't living in peace and harmony, who have separated or are even divorced, and for husbands who do great at footing the bill yet know you can do a lot better, even though yours is a tough, Godly wife who doesn't say much about the hurt she holds inside, especially when you keep yourself "too busy" to listen and talk to her, except when you ask her "what's for dinner?"!
After 9 years of struggling, praying, crying, and asking him to seek counsel support, I went from being a healthy active hardworking wife, mother, fitness instructor & personal trainer, to unable to walk and hardly move. Two major spinal surgeries and knee surgery last year, and I saw myself living the worst of our relationship when I needed him the most (in the past five years!). He is now in counseling, trying to learn to accept that men do have emotions and that burying past hurts and hardships isn't the way to understand how our childhood molds into who we are today and it certainly isn't the way to overcome the various emotional and behavioral problems that sooner or later, spring and surface in one warped way or another,
In our 13th year of marriage, I am on the mend and could never do as well as I do, if I were to do it without my God given sweetheart, husband, best friend, caregiver, supporter, and lover! Our child deserves far better from us and we both have our share of work to do, including finish off reading this book! Other married couples, their children and extended families are my main reason for feeling compelled to write this review. However, when it comes to this book, about half way or a bit beyond reading it and I can truthfully testify that our relationship has taken a turn for the much better. It's not perfect and no relationship in this side of eternity is! Not in this planet, anyhow! LOL! Yet we believe every life is a God given opportunity for learning, growing, retaining what's good, changing what's bad or simply doesn't work, for caring for another at the very least as well as we do ourselves, and for waking up to the reality that love isn't an emotion but a choice and action, and that marriage isn't a contract where each spouse pursue happiness, expecting both will provide it for each other in the exact way each one, who are but two opposite beings, to say the least (for that, we have God Who explains why the differences in male and female!), rather than accepting marriage for the covenant that it is, expecting to give, rather than to take! This book, along with many others, is definitely worthy your try! But far better than this book, your wife, your children and yourself deserve reading this and change things where things went wrong!