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The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family Paperback – October 1, 2002
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"For Some Time I have looked for a very readable book on living with narcissism that also had clarity about addiction and codependency. Eleanor Payson has written an easy to understand guide to navigate one's way out of the labyrinth that narcissism makes...Four stars for a readable, useful book therapists can give their patients." Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. author of Out of the Shadows --Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. author of Out of the Shadows
"You will recognize the narcissistic personality disorder so well described by Payson as an all too common affliction among those who wield great political and corporate power in contemporary society. This book is a useful guide to recognizing and confronting the reality, which is a first step toward nullifying the power and influence of the afflicted over our lives." David C. Korten, Ph.D. author of The Great Turning: From Empire to Earth Community and When Corporations Rule the World --David C. Korten, Ph.D. author of The Great Turning: From Empire to Earth Community and When Corporations Rule the World
About the Author
Eleanor Payson, LMSW, ACSW, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing individual, relationship and family therapy for thirty years. Graduating from the University of Michigan in 1983 with her Masters in Social Work, she has continued her education on issues ranging from chemical dependency and codependency, adult children of alcoholics, narcissism and borderline personality disorders, relationship therapy, and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Since the release of her book, Eleanor has developed seminars and support group to assist individuals in their recovery from the painful consequences that occur when dealing with individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits or who have the narcissistic personality disorder.
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I've read several books on personality disorders since breaking up with my x girlfriend. While I seriously think she had Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD I didn't see some of the characteristics that other books mentioned. This book covers OVERT and COVERT Narcissism and really makes sense as to those Narcissists in high places vs. those who are more run of the mill next door I'm too good for you, know it all, empathy lacking types.
Further, it gets into what attracts NPD's like bees to honey - codependency!
If you are trying to figure out what in the world is so screwed up in your life with a significant other, be it a lover, parent, child, sibling, co-worker or friend and you can't quite put your finger on it there's an excellent chance this book will answer your questions and start you on the right path to deal with that person or get them out of your life.
This is the most powerfully healing book I have read in a very long time. Thank you so much Eleanor for writing this book. It has changed me as a woman and mother. Thank you.
I have utmost sympathy for anyone who is unable to completely cut ties with a narcissist, because of child custody issues, family ties (parent/child) or any other reason. The lying, blaming, projection, and utter lack of empathy (disguised with lies) towards the intimates of the narcissist will make the victim spend the rest of his/her life looking at everyone with an eye towards detecting those characteristics in others.
When it was first released in 2002 it was ground breaking information.
It's a great starter book. However, like other reviewers I really wish that
there were sections about detaching, defusing, and "going low to no contact".
I have to agree with some of others, some situations just can't be salvaged,
no matter how much energy and effort you put into them, and often it's not
safe (or sane) to remain in the realm of The Narcissist and you've
got to leave A.S.A.P. to save yourself!
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