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Shaunti Feldhahn

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men Hardcover – August 23, 2004

by Shaunti Feldhahn (Author)

2,761 ratings

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There is a newer edition of this item:

For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men
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What's going on in a man's mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long–married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man's rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn's research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women's eyes to what the men in their life – boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons – are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they're afraid to "freak out" the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.

Print length

192 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Multnomah Publishers
Publication date

August 23, 2004
Dimensions

5.15 x 0.71 x 7.26 inches
ISBN-10

9781590523179
ISBN-13

978-1590523179
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For Couples Only: Eyeopening Insights about How the Opposite Sex Thinks by Shaunti Feldhahn Hardcover $15.23
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"What an important book!"
- Beth Moore

About the Author

Shaunti Feldhahn started out as an analyst on Wall Street and ended up a surprise bestselling author, encouraging the Christian community toward service and outreach with the #1 bestseller Y2K: The Millennium Bug - A Balanced Christian Response. Also an author of message fiction, Shaunti is a newspaper columnist on women's issues, contributing the conservative opinion for the Atlanta Journal- Constitution's popular online "Woman to Woman" column. Shaunti and her husband, Jeff, are active leaders in their church, leading a home group that encourages married couples toward greater intimacy with God and each other.

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Product details

ASIN : 1590523172
Publisher : Multnomah Publishers; 1st edition (August 23, 2004)
Language : English
Hardcover : 192 pages
ISBN-10 : 9781590523179
ISBN-13 : 978-1590523179
Item Weight : 7.7 ounces
Dimensions : 5.15 x 0.71 x 7.26 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #194,008 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #318 in Christian Dating & Relationships (Books)
- #1,321 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- #1,424 in Love & Romance (Books)

Customer Reviews:
2,761 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		82%
4 star		10%
3 star		4%
2 star		1%
1 star		3%

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Top reviews from the United States

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canchaser1982

... read these companion books together and its been an amazing experience. I read the men only one first ...

Reviewed in the United States on October 21, 2017

Verified Purchase

My husband and I read these companion books together and its been an amazing experience. I read the men only one first and personalized it for my husband so he could understand me more, by making notes, and highlighting things etc. My husband did the same to the women only book, and then we switched. Wow has this made a difference in our marriage. Its as if lightbulbs went off in both our minds. I definitely recommend these to any couple whether you feel like you need them or not.

38 people found this helpful

Helpful

Amazon Customer

Please don't waste your money!

Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2017

Verified Purchase

I have been so disappointed in her books for women. She takes the position that men just can't stop themselves from looking at women and having a mental and/or biological response. She doesn't seem to allow for the work of the Spirit a Christian receives upon salvation. A teenage boy is going to look and respond. A married man has to learn to exercise discipline. Christian or not. Jesus said, "to look upon a woman with lust in your heart is to commit adultery." He didn't allow room for "men are just wired that way" so neither should we.

88 people found this helpful

Helpful

Micah Iverson

Nah.

Reviewed in the United States on August 26, 2020

Verified Purchase

Alternative Title:

For Women: How To Enable Male Fragility Through Toxic Biblical Submission.

16 people found this helpful

Helpful

w951jgb

Eye opening but lacking tips for application

Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2013

Verified Purchase

I am in my 30s, been married for 4 years, and am a full-time working mom. My marriage has been in distress, and my husband refused to go to counseling. I purchased this book in hopes of finding some guidance.

The book is a very quick read. I was surprised at how small the book actually is; however the book is loaded with information. I liked that it was written from the women's perspective and that the author provided stories about her struggles with her husband. The information was very relatable, and I definitely had a couple of "ah-ha!" moments. There were passages that seemed to describe my husband perfectly. I am not very religious; however I was not turned off by the biblical references.

My question is, now what??! I am not sure how to implement changes to improve my marriage. The book explains that a husband absolutely needs to be respected and affirmed. There was a little guidance, but I need help with how to really implement changes. The lack of practical tips left me disappointed, but overall I thought the message of the book was very helpful. The survey results are undeniable and help me understand the importance of respect in a marriage.

My husband and I are stuck in a cycle of lack of respect on my part and lack of love on his part. I am very hurt and angry, but I want to better my marriage. I am going to try the following actions for the next 30 days to see if there is an improvement. I have not talked to my husband about this book yet, I am going to wait to see if I get results.

My 30-day action plan:

1) Always accept his opinion and judgement on a matter and only offer my opinion if asked
2) Initiate casual physical connections at least once a day (ie: rubbing shoulders, sitting next to on couch, etc.)
3) Initiate sex at least once a week

I will give an update regarding the results. I am unsure about item #1 above. I consider myself a modern feminist; however I know that my husband thinks that I am critical and demanding. I am hopeful that by acting more respectful that he will in turn actively seek out my opinion so we have an equal relationship. I certainly don't have anything to lose at this point. I already thank him on a regular basis for important little things that he does to help with our child and around the house. I also tell him that I love him and always ask him about his day. (Wish he would do the same for me!) Any other tips would be appreciated!

UPDATE 05/08/2013:

We are definitely in a much better place in our relationship now compared to 30 days ago. I did not follow my plan exactly as I had intended, but I did make a lot of changes. I also learned a lot about how I treat my husband and how I need to continue to change.

Comments about my specific action plan steps:

1) I often forgot that my plan was to always accept his opinion. I need to work on this area. I have found that if I carefully listen to what he has to say, acknowledge what he has said, and then offer my two-cents - he is much more open to my opinion. Or if I wait awhile and then later offer my opinion, that works too. My DH just really wants to feel that he is heard and that his opinion is respected.

2) I often forgot to initiate casual physical connections until the very end of the day. I admit that it felt like a chore on my "to-do" list which is really horrible. It made me realize how much our relationship has changed from our early courtship to now being parents of a toddler. I am working on being more casually physical, and my DH seems to really appreciate it. He has been reciprocating quite a bit.

3) I only did this once the whole month. Epic fail on my part. I am committing to implementing this step during the next 30 days.

Although I was not successful at carrying out each action step - it did open my eyes in a big way. I realize that I can make a lot of positive changes in our relationship. I also realized that I critique my husband A LOT about things around the house that need to be done or should have been done differently. He NEVER critiques me. Literally, never. I would hate to be treated the way I treat him. So I am definitely working on making changes in that area too. If I continue to be aware of my actions, I am confident that things will continue to improve. I plan on talking to my DH at some point about the book, but I am waiting until we are on more solid ground.

554 people found this helpful

Helpful

amanda jordan

So Helpful!

Reviewed in the United States on August 9, 2017

Verified Purchase

These books are so helpful in understanding not just the opposite gender, but yourself as well. My husband and I read these before we got married. I HIGHLY recommend using the method of buying both books, and personalizing them for your partener before reading the other. ( I read For Men Only first, and wrote notes next to things that were/weren't true about me,etc., and he did the same with For Women Only).

29 people found this helpful

Helpful

Hallel

Saved my marriage

Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2014

Verified Purchase

My husband was going to leave me after 20 years of marriage. Listening to this book on tape, and him listening to "For men only", turned our marriage completely around. I thought I knew a lot about men, having read a ton of relationship books. But this gave me a deep insight to my husband's needs and how he is hardwired to respond. Now, when I want to discuss an issue and he is quiet, I know that means he is processing the issue step by step and not ignoring me. Wish I had learned this 30 years ago. Could have saved us both a lot of heartache.

118 people found this helpful

Helpful

Amazon Customer

Highly recommend for all women, not a long read but still packed with wisdom worth more than gold that I’ll carry with me my entire marriage.

Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2018

Verified Purchase

I started applying and thinking about the things learned the first day of reading and immediately saw a positive difference in both me and my husband. That day. I saw him light up when I reaffirmed the strong provider he is, I didn’t realize the need he had to hear that. I feel I better understand him now. He commented on how proud he was for me starting back working out that day and I could see how it made him SO happy and proud. I tried hard to critique him less, it was hard for me since it’s such an unconscious habit, and I saw how positively it affected his mood and self esteem:) I gave him more physical attention and I could tell even the following day how it impacted him. This book helps me to be a better and more enjoyable wife for my husband, and I want to be the best wife I can be to the man God have me:) So much good stuff in this book! Coming from a solid Christian perspective.

14 people found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

miss K O Bailey

The Womens Go-To-Guide for the scoop on Men...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 17, 2015

Verified Purchase

Love this book! Always have had a fascination with men and how they function. I have come to know over the years that the needs of men and women are completely the reverse and so different. What we say often gets lost in translation to our original intentions, and how they act sometimes gets lost in translation to what they really mean. Men have respect at the top of their list and women have love at the top of theirs but somehow we must navigate through that to communicate and understand one another.

Insightful, real and soooo relevant. This goes a little deeper than another one of my faves, "love and respect" by Dr Emerson Eggerichs as it is based primarily on extensive research through the surveying of approximately 1000 men from all walks of life.

A book not just for those married or with partners but also those who are wanting to be become a well informed woman (and in some ways make their lives a little easier before that time comes) even whilst single.

Read this book within a few days, a record time for me ;-) No doubt this will also be a book I revisit at least once a year similarly to Love & Respect.

2 people found this helpful

Auntie Ria

Every home should have one!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 18, 2018

Verified Purchase

Really enlightening reading into the heart of men. No holds barred look at what men really think. If you care about your man, then this will make you sit up and get your act together. Remember, if you complacent and don’t fight for your relationship there is always another woman waiting in the wings. Wish I had this years ago!

Amazon Woman

A big blessing in a little book!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 1, 2019

Verified Purchase

The book gave me a great insight into men’s way of thinking and, I hope, will help me be a blessing to my future husband!

J Rob

Great book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 26, 2018

Verified Purchase

So many helpful insights captured here. There are great benefits to understanding what and how men really think.
I would definitely recommend women read this book.

Amy

It will change your mind and life!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 1, 2013

Verified Purchase

Great book! I am getting married in September and this has done me the world of good in preparing for my marriage. I had so many light bulb moments! Now I never have to wonder what he is hiding when he says he is thinking about nothing. Pure genius - all women should read this!

3 people found this helpful

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