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For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men Hardcover – August 23, 2004
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- Beth Moore
About the Author
- ASIN : 1590523172
- Publisher : Multnomah Publishers; 1st edition (August 23, 2004)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 192 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9781590523179
- ISBN-13 : 978-1590523179
- Item Weight : 7.7 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.15 x 0.71 x 7.26 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #194,008 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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The book is a very quick read. I was surprised at how small the book actually is; however the book is loaded with information. I liked that it was written from the women's perspective and that the author provided stories about her struggles with her husband. The information was very relatable, and I definitely had a couple of "ah-ha!" moments. There were passages that seemed to describe my husband perfectly. I am not very religious; however I was not turned off by the biblical references.
My question is, now what??! I am not sure how to implement changes to improve my marriage. The book explains that a husband absolutely needs to be respected and affirmed. There was a little guidance, but I need help with how to really implement changes. The lack of practical tips left me disappointed, but overall I thought the message of the book was very helpful. The survey results are undeniable and help me understand the importance of respect in a marriage.
My husband and I are stuck in a cycle of lack of respect on my part and lack of love on his part. I am very hurt and angry, but I want to better my marriage. I am going to try the following actions for the next 30 days to see if there is an improvement. I have not talked to my husband about this book yet, I am going to wait to see if I get results.
My 30-day action plan:
1) Always accept his opinion and judgement on a matter and only offer my opinion if asked
2) Initiate casual physical connections at least once a day (ie: rubbing shoulders, sitting next to on couch, etc.)
3) Initiate sex at least once a week
I will give an update regarding the results. I am unsure about item #1 above. I consider myself a modern feminist; however I know that my husband thinks that I am critical and demanding. I am hopeful that by acting more respectful that he will in turn actively seek out my opinion so we have an equal relationship. I certainly don't have anything to lose at this point. I already thank him on a regular basis for important little things that he does to help with our child and around the house. I also tell him that I love him and always ask him about his day. (Wish he would do the same for me!) Any other tips would be appreciated!
We are definitely in a much better place in our relationship now compared to 30 days ago. I did not follow my plan exactly as I had intended, but I did make a lot of changes. I also learned a lot about how I treat my husband and how I need to continue to change.
Comments about my specific action plan steps:
1) I often forgot that my plan was to always accept his opinion. I need to work on this area. I have found that if I carefully listen to what he has to say, acknowledge what he has said, and then offer my two-cents - he is much more open to my opinion. Or if I wait awhile and then later offer my opinion, that works too. My DH just really wants to feel that he is heard and that his opinion is respected.
2) I often forgot to initiate casual physical connections until the very end of the day. I admit that it felt like a chore on my "to-do" list which is really horrible. It made me realize how much our relationship has changed from our early courtship to now being parents of a toddler. I am working on being more casually physical, and my DH seems to really appreciate it. He has been reciprocating quite a bit.
3) I only did this once the whole month. Epic fail on my part. I am committing to implementing this step during the next 30 days.
Although I was not successful at carrying out each action step - it did open my eyes in a big way. I realize that I can make a lot of positive changes in our relationship. I also realized that I critique my husband A LOT about things around the house that need to be done or should have been done differently. He NEVER critiques me. Literally, never. I would hate to be treated the way I treat him. So I am definitely working on making changes in that area too. If I continue to be aware of my actions, I am confident that things will continue to improve. I plan on talking to my DH at some point about the book, but I am waiting until we are on more solid ground.
Top reviews from other countries
Insightful, real and soooo relevant. This goes a little deeper than another one of my faves, "love and respect" by Dr Emerson Eggerichs as it is based primarily on extensive research through the surveying of approximately 1000 men from all walks of life.
A book not just for those married or with partners but also those who are wanting to be become a well informed woman (and in some ways make their lives a little easier before that time comes) even whilst single.
Read this book within a few days, a record time for me ;-) No doubt this will also be a book I revisit at least once a year similarly to Love & Respect.
I would definitely recommend women read this book.