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Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists Perfect Paperback – 2010

4.7 out of 5 stars 156 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

The material in this book is intended to help women to identify dangerous and potentially dangerous relationships with disordered men. It does just that! As I read this book I saw faces and cases that I investigated during my 30 year law enforcement career. The information in this book is educational and empowering! --Steve Kardian 30 year law enforcement veteran Women's safety expert National media consultant, law enforcement and safety

About the Author

Sandra L. Brown, M.A., is the founder of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education. She is a former psychotherapist in the field of psychopathology, community educator on the intersections of Mental Illness, Personality Disorders, Violence, and Recidivism. She is a clinical lecturer and trainer, TV and radio guest, and an author. Her books include the highly popular How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved, the award winning Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists, as well as the clinically relevant Counseling Victims of Violence: A Handbook for Helping Professionals. Sandra is recognized for her pioneering work in women's issues related to relational harm from dangerous and pathological partners. She specializes in the development of Pathological Love Relationship training for other professionals and the development of survivor-based support services. The Institute is the only formal clinical Model-of-Care approach for survivors and offers the largest available array of products and services related to this population. Her books, CD's, DVD's, and other training materials have been used as curriculum in drug rehabs, women's organizations and shelters, women's jail and prison programs, school and college-based programs, inner city projects, psychology and sociology programs, and distributed in almost every country of the world. Her books have been translated into several languages. Sandra is most noted for being the first to research the effects of psychopathy on female partners which has ignited interest in obtaining training by mental health professionals for this new and emerging genre of clientele. Her research has largely impacted the treatment field through her systematic approaches to recovery for women. Her most recent research was in collaboration with Purdue University. Her research in the field was presented at the Ruth Ginsberg Lecture Series Women and The Law on Domestic Violence , at End Violence Against Women International, at the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, the US Army Family Advocate Training, San Diego Psychology Association s Staying Ahead of the Curve in Domestic Violence Training, and the State of Georgia Commission on Family Violence during which her unique focus on Pathological Love Relationships has been featured. She is currently a writer for several large women s websites, Psychology Today, Times Up! Blog, and The Institute s online Safe Relationships Magazine. She is a frequent radio and TV personality interviewed regarding dangerous relationships, high lethality cases and psychopathy. She has been on over 100 radio shows including NPR and over 50 TV shows including Anderson Cooper. She hosts a weekly radio Relational Harm Reduction Radio that is focused on the topics of The Institute s message, services, and books. And has been featured in numerous documentaries about psychopaths and anti-social personalities and their effect on partners and children. Her most recent documentary The Psychopath Next Door aired with the Canadian Broadcast Corporation with emeritus professor and the world s leading expert, Dr. Robert Hare (author of Without Conscience).
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Product Details

  • Perfect Paperback: 265 pages
  • Publisher: Mask Publishing; 2nd edition (2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0984172807
  • ISBN-13: 978-0984172801
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 0.4 x 11 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (156 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #46,275 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Perfect Paperback Verified Purchase
I am an educated professional woman who owns my own business. I have had a successful career and social life. Until I got involved with a psychopath. What seemed like the perfect man, in reality, turned out to be a monster. He could be incredibly cruel one minute, and then loving the next. My whole world was turned upside down as this man would pull me in one direction and then another. I was a confused mess. When I read this book, I realized what I was dealing with. I realized that no amount of "therapy" would ever help our relationship and that a psychopath cannot change who he is. This book pulled me back from the brink of disaster and I highly recommend it to anyone involved in a toxic relationship. These people are truly dangerous, and they can be lurking under the radar almost anywhere.
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As a mental health professional and the victim/survivor of 2 relationships with psychopaths (one of whom is a presentable, handsome and seemingly highly moral psychiatrist - so please have no illusions about how these men may appear) I have both read prolifically on the subject of cluster b personality disorders and their traumatic impact and experienced it first hand.

It is refreshing to read a well researched book by a professional expert in this very specialist field. This is in no way intended to trivualise the vital contributions made by writers who are experts by experience, but a research based book of this kind is both welcome and crucial, in order for the subject to be taken more seriously.

That the onus is on the women themselves is very important - it is so easy in this situation to focus on your ex's pathology 'how can a human not have a conscience?!' To look at ourselves and how the best parts of ourselves (what Brown refers to as a victims 'super traits') become twisted and broken down by in essence a 'hungry' psychopath is both validating and empowering. As Brown states psychopaths are the most dangerous men on the planet. They present as the opposite of who they are and profile a partner to hook you in very deeply. Psychopathy makes good movies but for many of us, their fallout is or has been severe real life consequences, including the killing of hope- this should be something that everybody cares about.

It would have been interesting to have heard a word about male victims too - though likely to be fewer they do ofcourse exist and may find seeking understanding and sollace even more difficult.

Even if you are not the victim - believe me - you don't want to be (none of us did/do contrary to popular myth...
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Wouldn't you like to be able to recognize scam artists before you got cheated out of your life savings? Wouldn't you want to identify Losers before you become romantically involved with them? They say that one learns more from experience than from books, but that's not necessarily the case. Bad experiences can cause so much financial and emotional devastation that recovering from them becomes very difficult: for some, even impossible. How many times have you run across women who date the same kind of bad men, without learning anything from their experiences except heartache? Eventually, many women settle for bad men, believing that all men are like that or that they somehow deserve the mistreatment. Learning to recognize dangerous individuals can spare us and our loved ones years of hardship. In fact, personal experience and psychological information can work together. Books that identify the characteristics of dangerous individuals can help us recognize red flags and escape real-life predatory relationships early on, with far less damage to our wallets and our lives.
One of the most helpful books in this genre is Dr. Sandra L. Brown`s newest edition of Women Who Love Psychopaths: Insde the Relationship of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissists (Mask Publishing, 2009). This is a long title for a book that gets straight point in explaining clearly, for a general audience, the characteristics of dangerous individuals. Dr. Brown explains that dangerous men (and women) suffer from unfixable personality disorders: psychopathy and narcissism in particular. Such individuals have constitutive emotional deficiencies. They can't form meaningful bonds with others. Although they don't bond emotionally, they do attach to others.
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I had just broken up with my boyfriend when a friend recommended this book to me. I read it in less than two weeks. I was absolutely amazed at how accurately it portrayed my relationship with my ex-boyfriend!!! I mean it made my spine shiver how she details their evil and their exact behavior patterns, I mean it was as if she was a fly on the wall taking notes!

I have learned so much from this book and realize now why I became a victim. Now in therapy, I am working on the root cause of why I became prey to this emotional vampire, and why I will NEVER ever allow another man like this into my life again.

The destruction caused by these men in your life is so detailed by Sandra, and so accurate! How she describes cognitive dissonance, intrusive thoughts, reactive anger, the evil, the mind games... I never knew such evil existed on the face of something so beautiful. I remember calling him and angel when we were dating... I completely fell for him, hook line an sinker... They really make you feel like they love you, like they are connected, emotionally available... everything you need/want in a man... and then as soon as they realize they've got you hooked, you become an emotional, mental, spiritual target for destruction. They find your button and the push it... it's a horrid experience I wouldn't wish on any woman. At heart they are mysogynists!

I'm sorry to say, Sandra is pinpoint accurate in how they attach, but cannot connect emotionally at all. My ex was onto his next victim within two months after our two year relationship!! Which he did with me and with his ex wife as well. Good thing I got to sit down with his ex and have some heart to hear conversations, wherein I learned that we both had the same horrific experience with him.
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