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Women's Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say "I'm Not Happy" Paperback – June 1, 2005
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Women's Infidelity is one of the most insightful books I have ever read. No stone has been left unturned. --Scott M.
I am no longer a clueless male after reading this book. It should be required reading for men! --Chris DeAngelo
I felt exposed but also relieved after reading Women's Infidelity - it's nice to know I'm not alone. --Joann (last name withheld)
About the Author
Michelle Langley has been a professional public speaker, specializing in career development, for over 11 years. She began an independent inquiry into women's sexuality after her interest was sparked by a series of unrelated incidents. The information in Women's Infidelity was gathered and researched over a period of ten years.
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This book should be required reading for highschool graduation. So much about men's sexuality is common knowledge, such as during a man's 40's his hormone changes often trigger a mid-life crisis. However it's virtually unheard of that women undergo a near identical phenomenon in their early 30's that often results in marriage stress, illicit affairs, and leads many women to seek divorce as a coping mechanism due to lack of understanding what's going on with the bio-chemical reactions in their brains.
The author presents the book as a dialogue between herself and a close male friend whose marriage is falling apart. She covers many topics, most notably to me was a semi-humorous explanation of what sex is like for an unaroused woman. Unlike men who first have to be aroused to have sex, women can have sex whether aroused or not, but forcing themselves to have sex when not aroused to please their husbands quickly leads to resentment and lack of desire for sex in the same way getting a prostate exam whenever the doctor wanted to would quickly become a traumatic experience.
This book was a huge eye opener and has helped me better understand the feminine side of sexuality.
The second book, 'Women's Infidelity II: Breaking out of Limbo', is very different. Targeted at women who find themselves involved in covert affairs instead of their male partners, it very gently nudges women to assume responsibility for their behavior and acknowledge that it is their own decisions or lack of decisions that puts them in the state of 'limbo' where they leave their husbands hanging on for sometimes years because they don't want to give up options. From my perspective as a male-brained individual, taking over 100 pages to do this seems like a lot of text to get across the point 'women need to take responsibility for their actions and decisions', but she does a very good job of supporting her contentions and it is a quick read.
While the first book is informed by references to genetics, biology, behavioral psychology, etc; the second lists Warren Farrell, David Deida, Thomas James (Domestic Violence: The Twelve Things You Aren't Supposed to Know), Ken WIlber, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra and to my surprise David Shackleton (an essay entitled Feminism Exposed: Our Blindness to Feminine Evil) and Kristen Armstrong.
The books are not based on statistical research but rather anecdotal research, and the bias is towards women who actually engage in affairs rather than just punishing their husbands because they are not happy, but nonetheless they go a long way towards explaining behavior that to most men seems incomprehensible.
I would not recommend reading one of these books without reading the other, and I would recommend them for both men and women prior to consideration of marriage. (Along with David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man)