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Working With You is Killing Me: Freeing Yourself from Emotional Traps at Work First Edition Edition

4.3 out of 5 stars 72 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-0446576741
ISBN-10: 0446576743
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Editorial Reviews

From AudioFile

People at work too often get emotionally hooked into tolerating and taking care of co-workers who are unproductive, annoying, needy, or destructive. Break free of such energy drains with the strategies offered by these two authors, who are both passionate and full of energizing ideas. They suggest stress management to help restore composure and balance but also ask you to carry out remedies such as documenting misbehavior and insisting that policies be enforced to correct problems. Take control of your work life by studying your company's ground rules, taking action when possible, and managing your co-dependent tendencies when they're provoked. Includes printable assessment tools for yourself and your company. A timely and well-written survival lesson. T.W. © AudioFile 2006, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster live in New York City

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Business Plus; First Edition edition (March 7, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0446576743
  • ISBN-13: 978-0446576741
  • Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 1 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (72 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #412,208 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
How often has someone you work with driven you completely up the wall, and you swear you can't take it anymore? What's the matter with them, you mutter, why can't they just change so they aren't so annoying? Perhaps it is time to rethink things.

Let's face it, they aren't ever going to change, so instead, why not change your reaction to their maddening behavior? Or maybe the problem isn't your nutty co-worker or boss. Did you ever stop to

think that you might just be your own worst enemy at work by dint of your irritating quirks?

Whatever your work situation, this book has with not only the symptoms but also the cure for what ails you. The authors use questionnaires, anecdotes, and specific scenarios to come up with solutions to various work situations.

Katherine Crowley, a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, and Kathi Elster, a small business expert, combined their expertise in this book.

Each chapter describes the problem behavior, how you might be

exacerbating the problem, and actions you can take to change your

reaction to the behavior and thereby create a different result. The

authors believe that the one factor having the most impact on a satisfying work environment is being able to master your state of mind, and after reading this book, I agree.

They describe emotional "hooks" and delineate steps you can take to "unhook" yourself, along with setting boundaries at work.

They describe the "Fatal Attractions," who suck you into their webs: the exploder, the empty pit, saboteur, pedestal smasher, and the chip-on-the-shoulder, all of whom make life miserable.

But managers also have their own crosses to bear in the form of parenting their recalcitrant charges, the employees, a.k.a.
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Format: Hardcover
Having worked in the wireless industry for over 16 years, I was immediately drawn to the title of this book. Upon further thought though, the appeal of this book for me has less to do with wireless and more to do with the variety of different personalities I've encountered in my professional life - regardless of the industry.

A lot of books offer advice on how to deal with difficult people - particularly in personal relationships. This book takes a turn at helping people learn to cope with the personalities they have to deal with at work. Katherine Crowley is a psychotherapist and Kathi Elster is a small business expert; together they describe themselves as "undercover business therapists." While their focus on professional relationships is new, their message is familiar - "you can't change other people's behavior, but you can change your reaction to it."

Unhooking is the Key

The authors explain that changing your reaction starts with finding ways to "unhook" yourself from the situation, and they give specific examples of ways to tell - both physically and emotionally - whether you are 'hooked". Symptoms include headaches and fatigue, anger, depression and forgetfulness. Their "Four Pronged Unhooking Technique" is simple and is good, practical advice for anyone dealing with difficult people at work.

Not all Theory

While a lot of books give you theories on dealing with others, "Working With You is Killing Me" gives tips and examples on how to use the technique in real life business situations. And they don't assume it's only co-workers who drive you nuts: tips for obnoxious bosses are also presented.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
There is a lot to like about "Working With You Is Killing Me."

The authors use their years of business experience to cleverly categorize a number of boss types, work methods, co-worker habits, attitude issues, leadership styles et als. that are harmful to your working experience - and offer the means to overcome ("unhook from") them, often beginning with a massage, or a run, or walking the dog, or getting a facial to purge bad karma and rethink potential options. Putting a form of scientific method to resolving work related problems - including the reader's assessment of their own role in the problem - is a big part of the text. It provides an organized and controllable process to attempt issue resolution.

For me, the best part of the book, however, was the subject of "Managing Up," in which the authors urge their readers to take more control over their disappointing managers by using that same scientific method to manage them to preferred solutions. Good advice.

And, there are a number of self-help exercises to assess your fit with Corporate Culture, or to determine if you are hooked (emotionally distressed) by a "Fatal Attraction"-type manager etc. Again - good stuff and helpful to think about for many people, particularly the less experience workforce.

Still, I was caught in a bit of a dilemma. The book is written from the point of view of what do you do when someone else is causing emotional discomfort to you - as if you are the center of the universe. OK - that's why you bought the book. But, survey results from reputable researchers show that the primary reason for people remaining with their jobs is that they like their co-workers. Even more than their commitment to the work they do, they begin with liking their co-workers.
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