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Would You Date You? Paperback – July 30, 2012
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"So many writers on dating and courtship focus on what to look for in a potential spouse. Buono helps his readers look at themselves, to see if they are the kind of person who is prepared to be successful in marriage. He presents virtue after virtue that every Christian should cultivate to become the person God wants them to be. His material is solidly Catholic, the kind of thing St. Francis de Sales might have written for someone hoping to marry well.
"Would You Date You? is a recipe for holiness. Nothing could prepare a person better than this for a healthy, lasting marriage—and, of course, for the eternal marriage with God."—Rev. T.G. Morrow, author of Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World
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Although the book will be most enjoyed by Catholics, I think it is accessible to anyone who is open to reading a Catholic perspective on dating, courtship, and marriage. Anthony's approach is challenging but non-confrontational and this book is a good source of self-reflection in regards to whether one is truly ready for dating and marriage. In that regard, I strongly discourage readers from doing what I did and reading it in an afternoon. Each chapter can be read in about a half hour and they should be reflected, and perhaps re-read, upon before moving on to the next. I encourage young adult and singles ministries to consider using this book as a source of discussion and everyone should consider sharing any insights gained from the book with a confessor, spiritual director, family, and close friends.
After all, I had seven years to study all this and by gosh, I had a greater understanding of God's Will for my life.
I had a number of dating prospects over the years, but never accepted anyone of them. After all, I had a long list of must-haves and unless those requirements were met, they just didn't make the cut.
AFter 7 years, I managed to convince myself that I really can't beat not having to share closet space, the opportunity to paint the house any color I like, and to buy clothes that I don't need without getting approval. Ah, sweet freedom. I'll take it. After all, I had a pretty decent marriage for 31 years before my husband passed away and I decided that my life was fulfilled with family, friends and my career. I stopped seeing myself as "single and available" and I decided I was just a content to be a happy Sicilian widow delighting in the joy of serving my homemade pizza or pasta to the next person who happened to walk through my door!
I had heard about Anthony Buono's new book, "Would You Date You?"
Remember, I'm done with the books. I'm done thinking that it might be nice to meet that someone special. Seriously, what could be more exciting that cooking and serving and hanging out every weekend with my Big Fat Italian Family! Right?
By God's grace, I ordered the book---not because I like the sound of Anthony's last name (Buono), although that might have had something to do with it. Years ago I saw his DVD series, Road to Cana, and was most impressed with his insights into seeking a partner and created a holy marriage. Frankly, I was intrigued with the title of this new book. That's really why I ordered it.
At least that's why I thought I ordered it! God had other plans.
This is a true story. I went out to get the mailbox and was shocked at quickly the book arrived. For starters, red is my favorite color so Anthony already struck another chord with the cover. I had just finished kneading the pizza dough for dinner and let it set. I sat down for two seconds to scan through the book.
One line pops out at me like a lightening bolt, "Am I willing to choose a suitable partner....or am I always making excuses for why I should NOT give myself completely to someone God has put into my life?"
Whoa! II dove right in. I soon forgot about my mouth-watering meal and it was like a hunger for the truth being satisfied with each turning page. And as cliche as this sounds, by the time the pizza dough rose I had finished 3/4 of the book---and I literally could not put it down!!!
What a profound start, "Let us first consider our end goal, which is heaven."
And I agreed 100%, but in my experience if you share that---even with a prospective Catholic date who doesn't quite get it, they think you're too out there with your faith. I'm looking for a Catholic who gets it or forget it! But then Anthony points out that we should be looking for "truth seekers." Double "Whoa!" You mean my date doesn't have to be a born-again Catholic who has "arrived"?
What really got me is when Anthony reminds us that doing whatever we want is not freedom---loving God is true freedom. And that we are never truly free unless we're giving ourselves in love to others. I'm thinking, does making homemade bread count for anything???? Somehow, I don't think that's what Anthony and God meant. Anthony takes it a step further, "To love yourself is enslavement.To love another is freedom."
I always thought of myself as a very charitable, loving, giving person. But was I enslaved by the comfortable bubble I created and the desire to not to share my life with someone if God so desires that for me? The book begs the question, "Have you made this important decision not to be open to inviting someone to your life because it's God's Wil or your will?"
The book helped me to see God in everything...not just most everything---but everything. Including the decision to date or not date---even if it involves a sacrifice. The book helped me discover that all we do should be motivated by our love for God.
I had to stop and think long and hard about that one. I could honestly say that 99% of everything I do IS motivated by my love for God, but I began to realize that my decision to remain single was motivated by convenience and selfishness---not God's Will.
And for seven long years, I didn't accept an offer to date because these men just "didn't get it" when it came to the teachings of the Catholic faith. HA! Look who didn't get it!! This book gave me clarity of vision to see that we're all beautifully flawed---ouch, even me, when it comes to my Catholic faith and knowledge of God's Will for my life. Talk about humility!
Here's the most important thing I took away from the book. Now that i've taken an introspective look at myself, I'm more empathetic, merciful, charitable and less focused on the shortcomings of the other person. What a concept!
Before I read the book, "Would I date me?" Heck no!
Let's put it this way, now that I have come to a place of full surrender to God's Will and the life that He intends for me, the answer is a resounding "YES!"
OMG, the pearls in Chapter Eleven were life-changing. The transformation has been truly freeing and contagious! My Catholic friends who are "sworn-to-singleness" have seen the change in me and can't get a hold of the book fast enough!!
Thank you, Anthony for being so bold as to write what needs to be told !!!
Most recent customer reviews
It was apparent after only the first chapter that this book was not just going to assist singles in their journey, but practically...Read more