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Jaclyn Friedman

Jessica Valenti

Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape Paperback – December 2, 2008

by Jaclyn Friedman (Author), Jessica Valenti (Author)

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Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World without Rape
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In this groundbreaking new look at rape edited by writer and activist Jaclyn Freidman and Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut author Jessica Valenti, the way we view rape in our culture is finally dismantled and replaced with a genuine understanding and respect for female sexual pleasure. Feminist, political, and activist writers alike will present their ideas for a paradigm shift from the “No Means No” model—an approach that while necessary for where we were in 1974, needs an overhaul today.

Yes Means Yes will bring to the table a dazzling variety of perspectives and experiences focused on the theory that educating all people to value female sexuality and pleasure leads to viewing women differently, and ending rape. Yes Means Yes aims to have radical and far-reaching effects: from teaching men to treat women as collaborators and not conquests, encouraging men and women that women can enjoy sex instead of being shamed for it, and ultimately, that our children can inherit a world where rape is rare and swiftly punished. With commentary on public sex education, pornography, mass media, Yes Means Yes is a powerful and revolutionary anthology.

Print length

256 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Seal Press
Publication date

December 2, 2008
Dimensions

5.38 x 1 x 8.25 inches
ISBN-10

1580052576
ISBN-13

978-1580052573
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Activists and writers Friedman and Valenti (He's a Stud, She's a Slut) deliver an extraordinary essay compilation focusing on the struggle to stop rape in the U.S. and the importance of sexual identity and ownership. Early on, Thomas MacAulay Millar and Rachel Kramer Bussel explain how the "no means no" concept (sexual consent equals the absence of no) must be rejected in favor of a "yes means yes" mentality: the idea that consent means affirmative participation in the act itself, a broader definition that better protects women while encouraging power over-not fear of-personal sexual identity. Other topics include body image and self-esteem issues as well as incest, the dangers faced by female immigrants and the public perception of rape; in "Trial by Media," Samhita Mukhopadhyay looks at the Duke Lacrosse rape case and finds the media acting in the tradition of slavery by commodifying the young, female African-American body. Though surprisingly entertaining throughout, with no shortage of wit or humor, unexpected topics (Friedman on enjoying sex, transsexual writer Julia Serano on the mixed cultural messages that lead "nice guys" to sexual aggression) keep the book dynamic. Sure to empower and inform, this is an important and inspiring read for assault survivors, educators, activists, experts and those on a path to self discovery.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Of all the arguments out there that propose how to end rape, embracing women’s sexual pleasure may not sound like a likely solution. But Yes Means Yes argues otherwise. By investigating the myriad ways the sexual choices of women can take shape, this anthology argues, not only should women know what they don’t want, but they also should seize their freedom to explore what they do want. By challenging blanket claims, like that all males are sexual aggressors, and taking the shame away from females who are bona fide sexual submissives, Yes Means Yes says the conscious decisions we make about sex in its many forms are the best medicine for the illness that is rape culture."
—Bust Magazine

"Utopian novels have grappled with the idea of a world without rape, but what would the path to that world look like? The controversial essays that make up Yes Means Yes! light the way along this very rough road and, not surprisingly, offer no easy solutions…The authors in this collection speak with authority and, unfortunately for some, from personal experience."
—Ms. Magazine

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Seal Press (December 2, 2008)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1580052576
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1580052573
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.38 x 1 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #291,638 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #94 in School Safety
- #490 in Medical Psychology of Sexuality
- #628 in General Sexual Health

Customer Reviews:
124 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		74%
4 star		14%
3 star		8%
2 star		2%
1 star		2%

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Top reviews from the United States

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CSN

A great educational and interesting read from many great authors

Reviewed in the United States on August 26, 2015

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A great educational and interesting read from many great authors. A must read for college students and anyone with an interest in feminism from many different perspectives. Very entertaining life stories as well. Highly recommended.

4 people found this helpful

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Spm

Consent. Don’t rape. Respect others

Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2019

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I love good reads that give you other perspectives and ways to think

Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2019

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Highly recommend

Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2010

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"Yes Means Yes" is quite a radical take on the idea of sexual consent - getting past the valuable, but very limited, concept of "No Means No" to a broader idea that sex should always involve the enthusiastic consent of all the parties involved.

It's shocking that this is a radical idea - but, in a world where sexuality is far too often conceived of as "men as relentless pursuers and women as desireless gatekeepers" it is quite remarkable to see a vision of women as equal partners and independent actors in the context of their own sexuality.

The book itself is composed of 28 essays by 30 contributors - two by coeditors Jessica Valenti and Jacklyn Friedman, with the other 26 by a variety of authors from all walks of life (the most prominent among the contributors being comedian Margaret Cho, who wrote the book's foreword).

Each author wrote in his/her own voice, with extremely light, almost invisible, editing by Valenti and Freedman, which gave an interesting collaborative flavor to the book (while also making it somewhat hit or miss).

By far, the strongest contributions were "What it feels like when it finally comes: surviving incest in real life" by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, "When sexual autonomy isn't enough: sexual violence against immigrant women in the United States" by Miriam Zoila Perez, "Trial by media: Black female lasciviousness and the question of consent" by Samhita Mukhopadhyay, "Why nice guys finish last" by Julia Serrano and "Who're you calling a whore?: a conversation with three sex workers on sexuality, empowerment and The Industry" by Susan Lopez, Mariko Passion and Saundra.

The rest of the essays - while not rising to the level of those five contributions, were good pieces that got their points across.

The book had only one weak and poorly written essay "Towards a performance model of sex" by Thomas Macaulay Millar, by far the weakest and most poorly written and thought out essay in an otherwise excellent book.

On the whole, this is an outstanding work and I would recommend this book to anybody - especially to women - and it gives a new and unique perspective on sexuality.

9 people found this helpful

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Sam Comtois

Nothing new

Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2013

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Repeats a lot of the same themes. But the format is interesting and the resources are valuable. If you've been reading feminist blogs lately, you've already read this book in quote form.

4 people found this helpful

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Kathleen Alexander

Subtopics for everyone to ponder

Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2013

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The essays I found most engaging were those that examined how rape culture was derived using historical examples, that examined how it persists using present examples, and that pointed to intersections I hadn't thought of (or heard of) before, such as "When Pregnancy Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Be Pregnant" by Tiloma Jayasinghe in which Jayasinghe drills down into a specific issue to demonstrate just one of the many ways in which our culture tries to control women's bodies. Another essay examined BDSM, female sexual submissives and how the elements of BDSM are misappropriated by mainstream pornography: "The Fantasy of Acceptable 'Non-Consent': Why the Female Sexual Submissive Scares Us (and Why She Shouldn't)" by Stacey May Fowles.

Some reviewers found other essays more engaging than I did, which I believe is the strength of this book: that it has something to say to everyone who reads it, even if that "something" is different for every reader.

8 people found this helpful

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Ella

MUST HAVE

Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2014

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This book is such a must have for any feminist. It is always my go-to source for information about sexual assault prevention, and I appreciated the fact that it discusses other topics like domestic violence, emotional abuse, and even STIs resulting from assault. A modern feminist classic. I'm just mad at myself I didn't order it and read it sooner.

5 people found this helpful

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OllieZ

yes means yes

Reviewed in the United States on August 17, 2013

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great book, makes you look at things we normally avoid talking about, from a new perspective and i love that! needed this for a class text book and enjoyed reading it!

3 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Hencarrier

I bought it because the new articles on the website are amazing and I wanted them in paper form

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 22, 2016

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This is a collection of feminist articles. I bought it because the new articles on the website are amazing and I wanted them in paper form, but sadly the most recent ones are missing from this.It's a really good concept: that no one should assume consent without an 'enthusiastic yes'. I'm glad I bought the book, but reading the website would be just as good, and that way you'd get to read the articles about how most rapes are committed by a tiny proportion of men who serially predate on women who have drunk too much. (Gives an interesting insight on current rape cases in the press.) And the one about how it's a convention that in our society people rarely say a firm 'no' to anything, instead coming out with a polite refusal like 'I'm so sorry but I can't' to an invitation. And rapists know this perfectly well. So the whole defence of 'she never actually said no' is irrelevant.

2 people found this helpful

Jenna

Refreshing and irreverent

Reviewed in Canada on April 6, 2017

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Should be required reading for any feminist. It has amazing, diverse perspectives and stories. I loved it. I couldn't put it down!

Thanh Huynh

Five Stars

Reviewed in Canada on August 8, 2017

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Very great book that definitely gets you to ponder the world of feminism

Client d'Amazon

Truly amazed and thankful

Reviewed in France on December 9, 2016

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True revelation ! I did not read all the articles in it since I study it for a precise analysis of modern romance and how it brings women to politically and socially regress within heterosexual relationship. I encourage people to read and critic the New Adult fiction and to see how it diminishes woman's power. Yes Means Yes truly highlights the main issue I encountered while studying Fifty Shades of Grey.

Clifford Gollner

But Iam not proposing to be disappointed.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 16, 2014

Verified Purchase

Perfectly satisfactory service and copy, thank you. Pending, as far as the reading list is concerned. But Iam not proposing to be disappointed.

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Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape Paperback – December 2, 2008

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