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You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child Hardcover – August 17, 1999
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Top Customer Reviews
Reading You Can't Make Me... was like a breath of fresh air. Finally, somebody "gets it"! Somebody, somewhere, actually understands what it is like to live with this child. Nothing seems to motivate her, she's willing to just "accept" any consequence we can dish out, and EVERYTHING turns into World War III, no matter how minor it was to start with. The truly scary thing? This child is barely three!
Therein lies the biggest complaint I have with the book, and my reason for rating it as only three stars. Most of the concrete suggestions don't really seem to be applicable to small children. I feel like I could derive a lot more benefit from the book if we were willing to put it on the shelf and pretend we don't have this child for at least another two years. Obviously, that is not an option.
I also felt that there was some inconsistency, at times, between what certain illustrations seemed to illustrate and what the author's stated intent was. This makes the author sound a bit wishy-washy about truth and standards and authority, when I believe this is largely a matter of poorly-chosen illustrations. To quote from the book,
"Contrary to what some popular theories propose, I believe...that there are absolutes.Read more ›
I have to say that this book has given me more ideas than anything I've read so far in any book about strong willed kids. Basically I need to find what motivates my child and never, ever, give orders. It just doesn't work. The author places a lot of focus on incentive, rather than punishment. She doesn't advocate that kids should be able to run wild, or use being "strong-willed" as either a character defect OR an excuse for "bad" behavior.
There is some focus on being Christian, just an FYI. This may be good for some people, but not others.
In all, fantastic book!!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Having endured some ongoing struggles with our children, especially our oldest, I figured it couldn't hurt to check out Cynthia Tobias' "You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Chad Oberholtzer
Good book. I bought after hearing her speak on the radio. I wish it had a bit more information and more ideas/examples of how to deal with a strong willed child.Published 11 months ago by JAS
I purchased this book and gave it to my niece because she was trying to cope with the challenges of raising a precocious four-year-old daughter.Published 13 months ago by Pansy
Lots of good ideas for dealing with strong-willed children and adults! :0)Published 18 months ago by Mary Jones