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You Have to Say I'm Pretty, You're My Mother: How to Help Your Daughter Learn to Love Her Body and Herself Hardcover – May 1, 2003
The Amazon Book Review
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A therapist and a mom have written a wise book for mothers of teenage girls who spend half of their time in front on a mirror and the other half fighting with them about what they see. The authors' fresh approach urges moms to "think of fat as an emotion." A daughters belly shirts, body critiques, and food quirks are the vocabulary to talk about what is really bothering her: shes aware of who she isnt (razor thin and model perfect), but hasnt figured out who she is. Stephanie Pierson and Phyllis Cohens techniques for teaching body comfort are subtle and highly practical. For example, how to give your daughter a compliment, help her understand sexuality, distinguish between taking her body apart and knowing what looks best on her, and, on the lighter side, what to say if you never want her to talk to you again. The beauty of their approach is a two-way mirror, they also ask mothers to explore their own feelings about beauty and body. The books depth, humor, and guidance will attract many grateful readers. --Barbara Mackoff
From Publishers Weekly
Pierson, the mother of a teenage daughter whose "self-esteem was based on the circumference of her thighs," and Cohen, a psychotherapist specializing in adolescents, team up to write this encouraging and practical "road map" for mothers whose daughters struggle with body issues. They carefully outline how mothers and daughters can improve communication, and help mothers understand that their own feelings-about food, their bodies, sex, etc.-play the primary role in how daughters perceive these same things. In chapters covering the basics of body image, mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships, the "care and feeding" of adolescent girls, and sex, Pierson and Cohen show how girls use their bodies as the "vocabulary for their emotions" (when a girl says she feels fat, she's talking about her feelings, not her need to go on a diet); how proper boundaries are crucial; how statements that mean well can make things worse ("You'd be so much prettier if your hair wasn't in your eyes"); how daughters test fathers; how to encourage proper nutrition and recognize "disordered eating"; and how mothers can empower their daughters to explore their sexuality but still feel comfortable saying no. This is a caring, clearly-even simply-written volume that will undoubtedly help mothers understand the kinds of pressures their daughters feel, and enable them to face the tough adolescent years as allies rather than adversaries.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Top customer reviews
Some may think that the mother is the only one who has the job of making sure her daughter feels good about who she is and how she looks. After reading this book you'll understand that the father shares this responsibility. Every action, every reaction, and every spoken word parents say to their daughter, makes her who she is. Daughters seek approval from both parents, not just their mother.
Readers will learn what to say, what not to say, and how to say it. In addition, the books lists and discusses the potential problems that could arise during a daughter's teenage years.
MyParenTime.com highly recommends this book -- it's an easy way for parents to learn how to help their daughters develop a positive self and body image. What a wonderful resource for parents of daughters!