This is the second time I have read this book. In my first relationship, it helped me to understand her point of view. Unfortunately, we never got past that. In my current relationship, we are reading this book and another by the same author simultaneously and discussing the meaning and implications of the material. I find that the material is very good at explaining common misunderstandings that arise in relationships. It's not very good at going beyond that, i.e. explaining or suggesting what you do with the new understanding. However, in my opinion, having awareness of what is happening is a major step in moving forward in any relationship. That is what the book was meant to do and it succeeds very well. I recommend it to anyone who finds themselves stuck in a recurring loop of "he said, she said."
When I've had my high school students read this book they often exclaimed, " I wish I'd read this last year! I could have save my relationship with my boyfriend/girlfriend!" It's very insightful commentary on the differences between how men and women talk. We can use the same word to mean completely different things. Very life changing information.
At first I reacted negatively, writing Tannen's thoughts off as pseudoscience from an academic. But as I thought through my negative reaction I realized, ironically, that it was because I was finding it insightful. I'm in continuous contact with a lot of people everyday and Tannen's material was shedding a lot of light on what happens in the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. The book is a practical guide and has helped me to understand why people react the way they do in conversation. I've also learned how I can change to facilitate better conversation and understand people better. The overall result to date as been positive and while I don't pretend to be a perfect person to all people, I find myself much more satisfied and comfortable among people.
A very good book for those who want to understand the difference in communication between a male or female. Gives very clear studies and conversations that expound on why we have trouble communicating with the opposite sex. Learned a lot.