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You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults w/ Attention Deficit Disorder) Paperback – April 25, 2006
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With over a quarter million copies in print, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! is one of the bestselling books on attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder ever written. There is a great deal of literature about children with ADHD, but what do you do if you have ADHD and aren't a child anymore? This indispensable reference—the first of its kind written for adults with ADHD by adults with ADHD—focuses on the experiences of adults, offering updated information, practical how-tos, and moral support to help readers deal with ADHD. It also explains the diagnostic process that distinguishes ADHD symptoms from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentration or impulsive behavior, offering guidance on how your reframe our view of ADHD and embrace its benefits. Here's what's new:
- The new ADHD medications and their effectiveness
- The effects of ADHD on human sexuality
- The differences between male and female ADHD—including falling estrogen levels and its impact on cognitive function
- The power of meditation
- ADHD coaching tricks and tips
And the book still includes the tried-and-true advice about:
- Achieving balance by analyzing one's strengths and weaknesses
- Getting along in groups, at work and in intimate and family relationships—including how to decrease discord and chaos
- Learning the mechanics and methods for getting organized and improving memory
- Seeking professional help, including therapy and medication
- Print length480 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherScribner
- Publication dateApril 25, 2006
- Dimensions5.5 x 1.2 x 8.44 inches
- ISBN-100743264487
- ISBN-13978-0743264488
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“A much-needed addition to the ADD bookshelf.” —John J. Ratey, M.D., coauthor of Driven to Distraction and ADHD 2.0
About the Author
Peggy Ramundo is a revered ADHD coach and speaker who has been working professionally with ADHD adults for over thirty years. A senior Tele-Class leader for the world’s first ADHD coach training program with the Optimal Functioning Institute, Peggy also served as OFI’s Director of Training. Peggy coauthored the bestselling books, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! and The ADDed Dimension.
Edward M. Hallowell, MD, is the founder of the Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Healt and was a senior lecturer at Harvard Medical School. A world-renowned ADHD expert, is the New York Times bestselling author of over ten books, including Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction. He has made appearances on The Dr. Oz Show, Today, and many other programs. He lives in Massachusetts. Find out more at DrHallowell.com.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!
The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit DisorderBy Kate KellyScribner Book Company
Copyright © 2005 Kate KellyAll right reserved.
ISBN: 0743264487
Chapter 1
From the Porch to the Printed Page: A Reader's Guide to Understanding This Book
Dear Reader:
Please don't skip this section! Although it's really a preface, we've written it as a separate chapter. We thought that many of our readers might approach a new book the way we do -- by skipping the miscellaneous pages and jumping right into the good stuff! But the information in this brief section is too important to gloss over. It will help answer some of the questions you may have as you go along.
Over two years ago, we sat on a porch swing and shared our vision for this book. Our original ideas took the form of a three page outline which became our framework throughout the writing process. Many long days and countless revisions later, our original Porch Swing Planning session evolved into the book you are about to read.
During the writing process, our vision changed little from our original outline. The chapter you are reading now is the only addition. We chose to add this section to share with our readers the underlying philosophy that guided our writing and the decisions we made regarding the book's format.
In the Introduction, we explained our goal of writing a book an ADD adult could use to understand and manage her disorder. We wanted this book to be practical and easy to read for anyone with specific reading and language deficits. To that end, we chose an informal writing style and worked hard to minimize the complexity of some rather complicated scientific concepts. We also included numerous cartoons to make the text more understandable.
We would like to comment on the organization of this book before you begin reading the three chapters that follow and question what we just said about ease of reading! During the editing process, we agonized over these early chapters that aren't as easy to read as the rest of the book. They are densely packed with rather technical information that is difficult to simplify. We didn't want to lose readers who might react in one or more of the following ways: 1. "Have I been tricked? Is this a text book? I thought it was going to be a practical, self-help book!" 2. "I've already read this information in several other books." 3. "How is this book going to help me if I can't understand the first chapter?"
We considered a variety of options from eliminating some of the information to reorganizing the format. We concluded that none of the options would solve the problem. We knew that our readers would have varying levels of knowledge about ADD and that some would need an in-depth introduction to the disorder. We were also keenly aware of the curiosity of ADDers who don't often accept suggestions without first asking, "But why?" We decided that without this background information, the anecdotes and practical suggestions that followed wouldn't make much sense. So we chose to leave the format alone and to offer the following guidelines.
If you've already done extensive reading in ADD, you might want to just browse these chapters. If you're new to ADD, just hang in there with the early chapters, taking them at your own pace and allowing time to digest the material. If you get really bored or befuddled, take a break! We promise the going will get easier and later chapters will take a look at the lighter, more practical side of ADD.
We also want to explain how we deal with the issue of sexist language in this book. The seeming erratic use of "he" and "she" isn't an editing error! We chose to alternate the use of male and female pronouns by chapters. As you will discover as you read this book, ADD isn't just a problem for boys and men. The assumption that the majority of ADDers are male has been challenged as knowledge about ADD has grown. Since this book is for all of you, men and women alike, we wanted to make the language as inclusive as possible. So, the odd numbered chapters use female pronoun references and the even chapters, male. By the way, there is no significance, other than a flip of a coin, for beginning with she instead of he! Paralleling this issue of sexist language, we have also tried to avoid stereotypes, including examples of both men and women in non-traditional roles. This seems appropriate, particularly since ADDers tend to be rather non-traditional folk.
Finally, we want to include a word of caution. In reviewing the book, a nationally known ADD expert raised an important issue. He voiced his concern that every adult who read it could identify with the described ADD behaviors and make a self-diagnosis of ADD. This concern is valid. In our work with classroom teachers, many report that the manifestations of ADD characterize every child in their classrooms!
We want to emphasize that ADD is a complicated syndrome with diverse symptoms of varying degrees of severity. It isn't surprising that educators observe ADD behaviors in many of their students because the symptoms of ADD are an exaggeration of behaviors and experiences that fall within the normal human range. Anyone can sometimes have lapses in memory, act impulsively or have difficulty concentrating. The problem with ADD is one of degree and persistence of the symptoms over time and across varying situations. ADDers have symptoms that begin in childhood and cause significant problems in school, work and relationships.
Another part of the diagnostic dilemma is that various mental health problems have symptoms that overlap those of ADD. For example, people with schizophrenia or depression have information processing problems similar to ADD adults but often to a greater degree. Virtually all mental health problems interfere with organization and information processing. So, it's not hard to imagine ADD becoming the new bandwagon everyone wants to jump on. We can picture the consternation of mental health professionals confronted with offices filled with people demanding treatment for the ADD they've self-diagnosed.
We can't emphasize enough that a diagnosis is not a do-it-yourself enterprise. A person with schizophrenia, for example, might have attention deficits but her treatment would be radically different from that of an ADDer. Using stimulant medication in her treatment would likely have the effect of dramatically worsening her condition. The point is, an accurate diagnosis is an essential component of treatment.
This book isn't a scholarly, diagnostic manual. Several excellent books of that kind are available and are listed in the appendix. If you're reading this book because you suspect you have ADD, follow the guidelines in Chapter 6. Develop a relationship with a professional who can provide a formal evaluation and diagnosis.
We don't believe, however, that an official ADD diagnosis is a prerequisite for reading this book. Individuals with other mental health problems and those without symptoms sufficiently severe to be considered ADD, can benefit from some of this material. Many of the self-help strategies are useful with or without a specific diagnosis. For example, a reader doesn't have to know why she is disorganized to benefit from some of our suggestions in Chapter 13. In addition, we hope that spouses, friends and colleagues of ADDers and other adults who struggle with related problems will read this book and develop greater sensitivity to individuals with special needs. We can all benefit from understanding how glitches in brain processes can wreak havoc in the daily lives of many people.
Finally, we hope that you'll find this book enjoyable and informative. If our readers have half as much fun reading it as we have had writing it, we will have accomplished our mission. We welcome your comments, personal experiences or anything else you would like to share with us.
Sincerely,
Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo
Copyright © 1993 by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo
Continues...
Excerpted from You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!by Kate Kelly Copyright © 2005 by Kate Kelly. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Product details
- Publisher : Scribner; Updated edition (April 25, 2006)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 480 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0743264487
- ISBN-13 : 978-0743264488
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 1.2 x 8.44 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #14,612 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors

Kate Kelly is a clinical specialist in psychiatric nursing who leads therapy groups for ADDults. She lectures widely and is a featured presenter at most major ADD conferences.

Discover more of the author’s books, see similar authors, read book recommendations and more.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book informative and easy to read, particularly appreciating its concise language and how it helps them understand themselves better. They describe it as humorous and eye-opening, with one customer noting it provides an excellent look into the ADDult brain. While the title receives positive feedback and customers consider it worth the money, they find it too long at 400+ pages, and some mention it feels outdated.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book highly informative, helping them understand themselves better and providing many answers to their questions about ADD.
"...He really liked this book and said it was very helpful to give him new ideas as well as reinforcement for modifications he uses now...." Read more
"...Now you can move forward. This book is a must in understanding your ADHD! One size does NOT fit all...." Read more
"...Seriously, this book is worth it. And if you have ADHD, share the information you learn with people in your life so they can better understand you...." Read more
"First off, the information in this book is very helpful, I definitely recommend it...." Read more
Customers find the book easy to read and understand, appreciating its concise language and clear writing style.
"...that I didn't even know about and made me feel so validated and understood...." Read more
"...subject matter being so close to home, I was able to sit for hours at a time reading several chapters, rather than my usual distracted method of a..." Read more
"...I can stay awake all day, finish projects, am back in school, more organized, can multi-task. My family is amazed at the difference...." Read more
"...This one is kind of broken up into easier-to-read segments too, if your attention wanders while you're reading like mine...." Read more
Customers find the book humorous and entertaining, with one noting its quippy tone.
"...The tone of the book is quippy and conversational in a way that's clearly meant to hold the attention of people with low attention spans...." Read more
"...easy to read after a long day at work - I was surprised to find it so humorous and entertaining - something that I haven't found too often in a book..." Read more
"...Easy to jump around. Finally, serious and lighthearted with some useful strategies." Read more
"...Humorous but full of things to remember. Keep it on your bed and reach for it every so often." Read more
Customers find the book eye-opening, with one mentioning it provides an excellent look into the ADDult brain.
"...There is a lot of eye opening, insightful information in this book for those that live with ADHD." Read more
"...This was an eye-opener and life-changer to say the least!..." Read more
"...A really good eye opener and excellent read read, not only for the ones with ADD, but also for the ones that have to live with someone at home or at..." Read more
"...It does so in a funny yet serious way anyone can see." Read more
Customers find the book worth the money.
"...Even if you only read the first few chapters it's still worth the price." Read more
"..."keep at it, you'll get it eventually." This book is worth the price for that chapter alone, at least to me, although every chapter is..." Read more
"...Buy the book- even if you are too ADD to finish it, it is worth it!" Read more
"Quality price and delivery was perfect" Read more
Customers like the title of the book.
"...The title is great as I beieve most people with ADD have probably said or thought that they were lazy, stupid or crazy at least once when they..." Read more
"Great title for a book about something that very few people consider an adult disorder...." Read more
"...The title caught my eye as I'm sure it was intended and I'm very happy it did...." Read more
"You Mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? It's the perfect title! I call this book my A.D.D. Bible...." Read more
Customers have mixed views on the book's content, with some finding it outdated, particularly in its medical sections and references to tapes.
"...HOWEVER- the "updated 2nd edition" is from 2006 and has many out-dated references to tapes, answering machines, etc...." Read more
"...The chapter on medication is completely outdated; it shouldn't be referred to by anyone who wants to know what options are available now...." Read more
"Very old book, but good content. Haven't finished reading it yet... but accurate half way through." Read more
"...It's a bit outdated but mostly in funny little ways... like references to a brand new technology... the fax machine!..." Read more
Customers find the book's length negative, with several mentioning it is 400+ pages long.
"to much to read" Read more
"...This book is 400+ pages long...." Read more
"I thought it was a little long and almost too anecdotal at times...." Read more
"...It is rather comprehensive and long. It tries to cover all the bases...." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2025Bought this for my adult ADHD son. He was diagnosed with this very complicated condition when he was in preschool! It was not well understood then, we learned as he grew. He is a very successful data analyst for a major corporation and has a great life he can manage well. He really liked this book and said it was very helpful to give him new ideas as well as reinforcement for modifications he uses now. He found it factual and informative.
- Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2024...But were afraid to ask. So you just got the Dr's blessing that you have, or always had but didn't know, and now the slew of questions have engulfed you. I came upon a recommendation for this book from an article on ADHD and gave me the answers I've been looking for, literally, all my life up to now and I'm in my low 50's! You'll be amazed to finally get answers to, Why do I.. why cant I... why won't I... Finally understanding that you're NOT Stupid, Lazy, or Crazy. You'll get insights into your new found "super powers". Finally get insights on how you can turn a lifetime of negatives into positives. If anythingm to finally understand, "it's not my fault " and forgive yourself. Now you can move forward. This book is a must in understanding your ADHD! One size does NOT fit all.
Buy the book, grab your highlighter or notebook and move forward. You can now be in control, at last!
- Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2021I haven't finished reading this book yet, but I already plan on buying another. This book is for anyone! Whether you are diagnosed, undiagnosed(and experiencing the symptoms) or someone who just wants wants know how to better understand a loved one with ADHD. I'm someone who hasn't been diagnosed, but I was/am more than confident that I struggle with ADHD.
This book gave me so much information that I didn't even know about and made me feel so validated and understood. I was able to read this book, take some of the information I have learned (a whole lot so far because I haven't finished it), and express it to a doctor. I'm now receiving treatment and I feel more confident talking about the things I struggle with because this book just made everything *click* for me. Because of that, I was able to get on medication for treatment! With that being said, this book doesn't just focus on medication, therapy, etc. It also provides a lot of different tips, tools, ideas, etc that can help help with day to day life. This is great for those who don't have access to a doctor or certain resources to get a diagnosis and treatment.
I believe everyone should have this book; teachers, doctors, therapists, parents, ADDers, employers! Seriously, this book is worth it. And if you have ADHD, share the information you learn with people in your life so they can better understand you. Highly recommend! ❤
- Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2024First off, the information in this book is very helpful, I definitely recommend it.
HOWEVER- the "updated 2nd edition" is from 2006 and has many out-dated references to tapes, answering machines, etc. Also, with so many new technological devices available to help organize the life of someone with ADHD, it's really overdue for an update. ALSO- the official clinical name of the disorder is "ADHD" not "ADD" (since 1987) which is consistently used throughout the book.
The real motivator that pushed me to write a review is the title which makes it incredibly awkward to read unless you're alone. I get that they want to sell books, but why does it have to be so rude?
- Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2014As an ADD adult, I had always wondered why I never did achieve my full potential. Friends, teachers and associates throughout my life always told me that I was smart and capable, and at times brilliant. I had a high IQ, great SAT grades, excellent school grades, and I graduated at the top of my class in college. Numero Uno. The only summa cum laude in my program.
So why was I not further along in my career, or fabulously wealthy? I always thought it was a lack of ambition, or being slightly "off-balance" as they say.
This book brought it all into clear focus, and made me feel as if I was not alone. I was part of a much larger group of people with this "advantage" in our thinking. The coping mechanisms contained in the book have helped me progress in my life, and my career. The authors have helped me be far less judgemental with myself when I perceived a "failure to focus" when pursuing certain goals. I highly recommend this book. Due to the subject matter being so close to home, I was able to sit for hours at a time reading several chapters, rather than my usual distracted method of a few pages at a time.
Thank you Kate and Peggy for a wonderful book of hope!
*For the non ADD/ADHD crowd, "Squirrel!" is sort of an inside joke among us. Like a dog seeing a squirrel dart across our path, any small distraction has the effect of completely kidnapping our focus despite our best intentions.
Top reviews from other countries
JonReviewed in Singapore on August 5, 20212.0 out of 5 stars Substantive content but book quality feels Used - edges worn off, paper turning color
Looks like quite substantive contents.
However book looks and feels incredibly old and Used - cover and edges worn out/folds, paper is incredibly discolored.
Looks like quite substantive contents.2.0 out of 5 stars
JonSubstantive content but book quality feels Used - edges worn off, paper turning color
Reviewed in Singapore on August 5, 2021
However book looks and feels incredibly old and Used - cover and edges worn out/folds, paper is incredibly discolored.
Images in this review
MahimaReviewed in India on May 31, 20212.0 out of 5 stars Too simplistic
Feels like its written for kids. I personally didn't find it helpful or enjoyable. I'd rather read or reccomend Power of habit.
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Corinna Van RosenveltReviewed in Germany on March 24, 20255.0 out of 5 stars Klasse!
Eines der besten Bücher, die jemals über ADHS geschrieben wurden
Amazon CustomerReviewed in the United Kingdom on November 16, 20225.0 out of 5 stars A really great guide to ADHD
Love this book! As a recently diagnosed adult "ADDer" I'm really pleased to find solice, confirmation and education from these writers. From their experience and research they have made the book very user friendly while packed with information. A very useful resource for people wanting to know more about ADHD.
vReviewed in Canada on August 25, 20215.0 out of 5 stars Extremely helpful even for undiagnosed people
This book has been extremely helpful- it gives a good semi scientific explanation about ADHD and integrates practical ways of navigating life as an (female) diagnosed OR undiagnosed adult. Would love to see an updated version with a technology focus (we do everything online now and the book still references fax machines etc) since most people are working remotely (and will continue to do so) it would be great to learn how to cope with everchanging online relationship dynamics.












