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You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults w/ Attention Deficit Disorder) Paperback – April 25, 2006

4.6 out of 5 stars 1,940 ratings

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A revised and updated edition of the classic self-help book that has served as a lifeline to the millions of adults who have ADHD!

With over a quarter million copies in print,
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! is one of the bestselling books on attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder ever written. There is a great deal of literature about children with ADHD, but what do you do if you have ADHD and aren't a child anymore? This indispensable reference—the first of its kind written for adults with ADHD by adults with ADHD—focuses on the experiences of adults, offering updated information, practical how-tos, and moral support to help readers deal with ADHD. It also explains the diagnostic process that distinguishes ADHD symptoms from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentration or impulsive behavior, offering guidance on how your reframe our view of ADHD and embrace its benefits. Here's what's new:
  • The new ADHD medications and their effectiveness
  • The effects of ADHD on human sexuality
  • The differences between male and female ADHD—including falling estrogen levels and its impact on cognitive function
  • The power of meditation
  • ADHD coaching tricks and tips

And the book still includes the tried-and-true advice about:

  • Achieving balance by analyzing one's strengths and weaknesses
  • Getting along in groups, at work and in intimate and family relationships—including how to decrease discord and chaos
  • Learning the mechanics and methods for getting organized and improving memory
  • Seeking professional help, including therapy and medication
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Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Refreshing, engaging, humorous, and true. The title alone makes this a book to remember…Should help anyone affected by ADD.” —Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., coauthor of Driven to Distraction and ADHD 2.0

“A much-needed addition to the ADD bookshelf.”
—John J. Ratey, M.D., coauthor of Driven to Distraction and ADHD 2.0

About the Author

Kate Kelly (1950-2012) was the coauthor of two bestselling books, You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?! and The ADDed Dimension. An advanced practice mental health nurse with over thirty years’ experience as a family, group, and individual therapist, she was a legendary pioneer in the world of Adult ADHD and founded the ADDed Dimension Coaching Group.

Peggy Ramundo is a revered ADHD coach and speaker who has been working professionally with ADHD adults for over thirty years. A senior Tele-Class leader for the world’s first ADHD coach training program with the Optimal Functioning Institute, Peggy also served as OFI’s Director of Training. Peggy coauthored the bestselling books,
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! and The ADDed Dimension.

Edward M. Hallowell, MD, is the founder of the Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Healt and was a senior lecturer at Harvard Medical School. A world-renowned ADHD expert, is the
New York Times bestselling author of over ten books, including Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction. He has made appearances on The Dr. Oz Show, Today, and many other programs. He lives in Massachusetts. Find out more at DrHallowell.com.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Scribner; Updated edition (April 25, 2006)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 480 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0743264487
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0743264488
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1.2 x 8.44 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 out of 5 stars 1,940 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,940 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative and easy to read, particularly appreciating its concise language and how it helps them understand themselves better. They describe it as humorous and eye-opening, with one customer noting it provides an excellent look into the ADDult brain. While the title receives positive feedback and customers consider it worth the money, they find it too long at 400+ pages, and some mention it feels outdated.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

240 customers mention "Information quality"228 positive12 negative

Customers find the book highly informative, helping them understand themselves better and providing many answers to their questions about ADD.

"...He really liked this book and said it was very helpful to give him new ideas as well as reinforcement for modifications he uses now...." Read more

"...Now you can move forward. This book is a must in understanding your ADHD! One size does NOT fit all...." Read more

"...Seriously, this book is worth it. And if you have ADHD, share the information you learn with people in your life so they can better understand you...." Read more

"First off, the information in this book is very helpful, I definitely recommend it...." Read more

79 customers mention "Readability"66 positive13 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand, appreciating its concise language and clear writing style.

"...that I didn't even know about and made me feel so validated and understood...." Read more

"...subject matter being so close to home, I was able to sit for hours at a time reading several chapters, rather than my usual distracted method of a..." Read more

"...I can stay awake all day, finish projects, am back in school, more organized, can multi-task. My family is amazed at the difference...." Read more

"...This one is kind of broken up into easier-to-read segments too, if your attention wanders while you're reading like mine...." Read more

16 customers mention "Humor"16 positive0 negative

Customers find the book humorous and entertaining, with one noting its quippy tone.

"...The tone of the book is quippy and conversational in a way that's clearly meant to hold the attention of people with low attention spans...." Read more

"...easy to read after a long day at work - I was surprised to find it so humorous and entertaining - something that I haven't found too often in a book..." Read more

"...Easy to jump around. Finally, serious and lighthearted with some useful strategies." Read more

"...Humorous but full of things to remember. Keep it on your bed and reach for it every so often." Read more

11 customers mention "Eye opening"9 positive2 negative

Customers find the book eye-opening, with one mentioning it provides an excellent look into the ADDult brain.

"...There is a lot of eye opening, insightful information in this book for those that live with ADHD." Read more

"...This was an eye-opener and life-changer to say the least!..." Read more

"...A really good eye opener and excellent read read, not only for the ones with ADD, but also for the ones that have to live with someone at home or at..." Read more

"...It does so in a funny yet serious way anyone can see." Read more

10 customers mention "Value for money"10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book worth the money.

"...Even if you only read the first few chapters it's still worth the price." Read more

"..."keep at it, you'll get it eventually." This book is worth the price for that chapter alone, at least to me, although every chapter is..." Read more

"...Buy the book- even if you are too ADD to finish it, it is worth it!" Read more

"Quality price and delivery was perfect" Read more

8 customers mention "Title"8 positive0 negative

Customers like the title of the book.

"...The title is great as I beieve most people with ADD have probably said or thought that they were lazy, stupid or crazy at least once when they..." Read more

"Great title for a book about something that very few people consider an adult disorder...." Read more

"...The title caught my eye as I'm sure it was intended and I'm very happy it did...." Read more

"You Mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? It's the perfect title! I call this book my A.D.D. Bible...." Read more

12 customers mention "Sex scenes"3 positive9 negative

Customers have mixed views on the book's content, with some finding it outdated, particularly in its medical sections and references to tapes.

"...HOWEVER- the "updated 2nd edition" is from 2006 and has many out-dated references to tapes, answering machines, etc...." Read more

"...The chapter on medication is completely outdated; it shouldn't be referred to by anyone who wants to know what options are available now...." Read more

"Very old book, but good content. Haven't finished reading it yet... but accurate half way through." Read more

"...It's a bit outdated but mostly in funny little ways... like references to a brand new technology... the fax machine!..." Read more

7 customers mention "Length"0 positive7 negative

Customers find the book's length negative, with several mentioning it is 400+ pages long.

"to much to read" Read more

"...This book is 400+ pages long...." Read more

"I thought it was a little long and almost too anecdotal at times...." Read more

"...It is rather comprehensive and long. It tries to cover all the bases...." Read more

There is not right way to read this ;)
5 out of 5 stars
There is not right way to read this ;)
Just started reading this, but like it already! Love the fact that they know that sometimes you jump around on reading books, and they say it right in the beginning...”we know many of you readers are not actually readers at all. Of course, you know how to read and Ken read, but for many ADDers Reading is just not fun… We put this book and an easy to read font and broke it up with charts headers in cartoons because we knew that you are an audience would need a break while reading all that text, don’t make a chore out of reading this book there is no right way, you can read it in chunks in the bathroom on breaks are even read it backwards… As they say in AA : take what you like and leave the rest. “
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2025
    Bought this for my adult ADHD son. He was diagnosed with this very complicated condition when he was in preschool! It was not well understood then, we learned as he grew. He is a very successful data analyst for a major corporation and has a great life he can manage well. He really liked this book and said it was very helpful to give him new ideas as well as reinforcement for modifications he uses now. He found it factual and informative.
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2024
    ...But were afraid to ask. So you just got the Dr's blessing that you have, or always had but didn't know, and now the slew of questions have engulfed you. I came upon a recommendation for this book from an article on ADHD and gave me the answers I've been looking for, literally, all my life up to now and I'm in my low 50's! You'll be amazed to finally get answers to, Why do I.. why cant I... why won't I... Finally understanding that you're NOT Stupid, Lazy, or Crazy. You'll get insights into your new found "super powers". Finally get insights on how you can turn a lifetime of negatives into positives. If anythingm to finally understand, "it's not my fault " and forgive yourself. Now you can move forward. This book is a must in understanding your ADHD! One size does NOT fit all.
    Buy the book, grab your highlighter or notebook and move forward. You can now be in control, at last!
    8 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2021
    I haven't finished reading this book yet, but I already plan on buying another. This book is for anyone! Whether you are diagnosed, undiagnosed(and experiencing the symptoms) or someone who just wants wants know how to better understand a loved one with ADHD. I'm someone who hasn't been diagnosed, but I was/am more than confident that I struggle with ADHD.

    This book gave me so much information that I didn't even know about and made me feel so validated and understood. I was able to read this book, take some of the information I have learned (a whole lot so far because I haven't finished it), and express it to a doctor. I'm now receiving treatment and I feel more confident talking about the things I struggle with because this book just made everything *click* for me. Because of that, I was able to get on medication for treatment! With that being said, this book doesn't just focus on medication, therapy, etc. It also provides a lot of different tips, tools, ideas, etc that can help help with day to day life. This is great for those who don't have access to a doctor or certain resources to get a diagnosis and treatment.

    I believe everyone should have this book; teachers, doctors, therapists, parents, ADDers, employers! Seriously, this book is worth it. And if you have ADHD, share the information you learn with people in your life so they can better understand you. Highly recommend! ❤
    38 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2024
    First off, the information in this book is very helpful, I definitely recommend it.

    HOWEVER- the "updated 2nd edition" is from 2006 and has many out-dated references to tapes, answering machines, etc. Also, with so many new technological devices available to help organize the life of someone with ADHD, it's really overdue for an update. ALSO- the official clinical name of the disorder is "ADHD" not "ADD" (since 1987) which is consistently used throughout the book.

    The real motivator that pushed me to write a review is the title which makes it incredibly awkward to read unless you're alone. I get that they want to sell books, but why does it have to be so rude?
    17 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2014
    As an ADD adult, I had always wondered why I never did achieve my full potential. Friends, teachers and associates throughout my life always told me that I was smart and capable, and at times brilliant. I had a high IQ, great SAT grades, excellent school grades, and I graduated at the top of my class in college. Numero Uno. The only summa cum laude in my program.
    So why was I not further along in my career, or fabulously wealthy? I always thought it was a lack of ambition, or being slightly "off-balance" as they say.

    This book brought it all into clear focus, and made me feel as if I was not alone. I was part of a much larger group of people with this "advantage" in our thinking. The coping mechanisms contained in the book have helped me progress in my life, and my career. The authors have helped me be far less judgemental with myself when I perceived a "failure to focus" when pursuing certain goals. I highly recommend this book. Due to the subject matter being so close to home, I was able to sit for hours at a time reading several chapters, rather than my usual distracted method of a few pages at a time.

    Thank you Kate and Peggy for a wonderful book of hope!

    *For the non ADD/ADHD crowd, "Squirrel!" is sort of an inside joke among us. Like a dog seeing a squirrel dart across our path, any small distraction has the effect of completely kidnapping our focus despite our best intentions.
    46 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

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  • Jon
    2.0 out of 5 stars Substantive content but book quality feels Used - edges worn off, paper turning color
    Reviewed in Singapore on August 5, 2021
    Looks like quite substantive contents.

    However book looks and feels incredibly old and Used - cover and edges worn out/folds, paper is incredibly discolored.
    Customer image
    Jon
    2.0 out of 5 stars
    Substantive content but book quality feels Used - edges worn off, paper turning color

    Reviewed in Singapore on August 5, 2021
    Looks like quite substantive contents.

    However book looks and feels incredibly old and Used - cover and edges worn out/folds, paper is incredibly discolored.
    Images in this review
    Customer imageCustomer imageCustomer imageCustomer image
  • Mahima
    2.0 out of 5 stars Too simplistic
    Reviewed in India on May 31, 2021
    Feels like its written for kids. I personally didn't find it helpful or enjoyable. I'd rather read or reccomend Power of habit.
  • Corinna Van Rosenvelt
    5.0 out of 5 stars Klasse!
    Reviewed in Germany on March 24, 2025
    Eines der besten Bücher, die jemals über ADHS geschrieben wurden
    Report
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars A really great guide to ADHD
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 16, 2022
    Love this book! As a recently diagnosed adult "ADDer" I'm really pleased to find solice, confirmation and education from these writers. From their experience and research they have made the book very user friendly while packed with information. A very useful resource for people wanting to know more about ADHD.
  • v
    5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely helpful even for undiagnosed people
    Reviewed in Canada on August 25, 2021
    This book has been extremely helpful- it gives a good semi scientific explanation about ADHD and integrates practical ways of navigating life as an (female) diagnosed OR undiagnosed adult. Would love to see an updated version with a technology focus (we do everything online now and the book still references fax machines etc) since most people are working remotely (and will continue to do so) it would be great to learn how to cope with everchanging online relationship dynamics.