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F You Very Much: Understanding the Culture of Rudeness-and What We Can Do About It Paperback – February 6, 2018
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"A meaty cry for human decency, wrapped in a deliciously hilarious hot dog bun. I plan to read it again and then force-feed it to my neighbor, my mother, and my college roommate. If you care about people and enjoy a good laugh, I politely encourage you to read this book. Immediately."
--Adam Grant, bestselling author of Originals
"A brilliant book" --Jon Ronson, bestselling author of The Psychopath Test and Men Who Stare at Goats
"A very funny and wise book about the blatant rudeness that surrounds us. Danny Wallace in top form." --Matt Haig, author of Reasons to Stay Alive
"An astute, easily digestible guide to not being a jerk." --Kirkus
“Danny Wallace, author, actor, and comedian, wrote the rudeness manifesto itself.”—VICE.com
"His [Danny Wallace’s] research on the psychology of rudeness can give us key insights as to what's going on right now and what we can do to become more empathetic."—Psychology Today
About the Author
Danny Wallace is an award-winning author, filmmaker, comedian, actor, and television and radio host. His previous books include Yes Man (made into the Jim Carrey movie of the same name), Friends Like These, and Awkward Situations for Men.
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So one chief complaint about the book is that there is no index!! Really? No way to look up Don Rickles' contributions to rudeness, or George Carlin's, or Trump's.. Trump does get some mention in the book, as he should (In fact, he should have gotten a whole chapter as a prime example of the corrosive and dangerous effects of rudeness; but he didn't get his own chapter (please don't tell him!)) and you can't even look him up in the index!)
The growing coarseness of our culture has been widely decried. I was hoping for a book that would provide an intellectual framework for understanding why this is happening, and what can be done to counteract the coarseness. This book does not do that, and is only mildly entertaining anyway. Not worth the eleven bucks...
The author tackles his subject with humor and also offers the opinions of scholars in such disciplines as psychology and ethics. Wallace provides some history (unsurprisingly, rudeness goes back to ancient times), discusses possible causes (among them are overcrowded urban areas, insecurity, narcissism, and prejudice), and offers ideas on how we might bring about a cultural shift that could lead to greater civility. Although he uses off-color words occasionally, most of the time Wallace's writing is intelligent, organized, and enlivened by entertaining anecdotes. For example, in the introduction, he speaks of Omar Hussain, who left England to join ISIS in Syria. When Hussain reached his destination, he was shocked—not by the cold-bloodedness of his new comrades—but by their atrocious manners. They did not even have the decency to line up and wait their turn, stole one another's shoes, and spoke in loud voices while he tried to get some sleep.
We all know what the problem is. What few of us realize is how toxic rudeness can be. It can have a negative impact on your health and your ability to think rationally. When a doctor encounters an extremely rude patient, the physician may become so irate that his performance suffers for the rest of the day. The uncouth maneuvers of motorists often lead to accidents or road rage. When employees deal with discourteous customers or colleagues, they are likely to take it out on their families that evening. Kids who are mocked by their peers frequently become withdrawn, depressed, and/or furious. Rudeness, alas, is a global problem, partly because we are "more stressed, more time-pressed, tired, fed up, angry, and put upon." The bottom line is that "we need politeness because it is right, it lifts our spirits, it makes things better, it lubricates the day, and helps everything run smoother." Danny Wallace challenges each of us to be less tolerant of boors, and to try to make a difference by setting a good example of how one ought to act towards his or her fellow human beings. It is everyone's responsibility to foster "a culture of kindness and mutual respect."