Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $3.99 shipping
+ $3.99 shipping
+ $6.53 shipping
You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up Paperback – June 8, 2010
|New from||Used from|
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
Customers who viewed this item also viewed
From Publishers Weekly
McDonald was a virgin until she was 27, not for religious reasons, but because she was waiting for Mr. Right. She went on numerous dates, got taken to lots of expensive restaurants, and was broken up with in countless creative ways. While explaining her saga, McDonald recalls the pivotal stages of her life: adolescence, the sorority years, her single twenties. The goal is a chronicle of a wacky LA life, but one woman's wacky is another woman's "whatever" and McDonald, who obviously wants to be seen as a clever, self-deprecating free spirit, comes off more like a poor man's west coast Candace Bushnell. Instead of laughing, readers will likely get the awkward feeling that comes at a party when a sorority girl proclaims her sobriety after a few too many trips to the keg.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
“The only thing funnier than Heather's impersonation of us is . . . this book!”
—Kim, Kourtney, & Khloe Kardashian
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
Guess what? My kids were the ones that went to the wayside while I read this book. I could not put. it. down. Heather's writing makes you feel like she is right there with you, drinking a pina colada relating these stories. I sat there, nodding my head, laughing out loud and waving my kids off when they begged for dinner.
Luckily I got through it quickly, so my kids aren't too malnourished. GO BUY THIS BOOK TODAY. Your eyeballs will thank you.
with that said I think this book will appeal to vapid sorority girls and very few others.
Having seen Chelsea and Heather do stand up in DC a while back I found Heather to be pretty funny. I thought her book would be equally funny. Unfortunately that was not the case. It seems she has had 20 years to hone her 20 min set of material which she has managed to do pretty well. The book however seems like it was slapped together in a weekend and reveals Heather to be a narcissist obsessed with finding a guy with a full head of hair who went to a good frat and has money.
The first 1/3 of the book was the worst. Unless you have been involved in Frat/Sorority life I think you will be turned off by the shallow, boring and a bit racist way that the author comes off in this part of the book.
The book could also have benefited from a good editor. At one point the author says she would "like to mall someone" in a sexual way. I think she meant to say "maul". Also later on she refers to Vanessa and Serena Williams instead of Venus and Serena Williams.
Overall as a gay man I found it hard to relate to this book at all not a problem I had when I read her boss Chelsea's books. If I met Heather in a bar I would run the other way after a few minutes of conversation which is too bad and not the impression I got from her stand up or appearances on the show.
All in all a pretty disappointing book.
Instead we get a lot of stories that show what a selfish, bratty, sexual tease she is. She sleeps with guys but stops them before they can enter her. She dry humps guys. She kisses complete strangers and leads them to believe she'll give them more. And she does it all claiming to be an innocent Catholic schoolgirl.
What she finally reveals late in the book is that at age nine she was confronted by a male flasher--twice. That certainly did something to scar her but she never treats it as anything more than a joke. The whole book is written in a joking style so you are never sure if what she is writing is true or not. She even has a happy ending, of sorts, when she meets the man she is going to marry--only to discover months later that he got a woman pregnant the night before she went out with him. But her marriage and family get the joke treatment as well.
She isn't a very consistent writer and this needs a good editor. She jumps back and forth so at times she doesn't make sense--when writing about a guy she meets she'll jump back to ten years earlier with a different guy or jump five years ahead to someone he reminds her of, then come back later and complete the story. She is, however, good at dishing dirt on some of the Hollywood types she dated or kissed or just sexually teased. You end up feeling sorry for all of them.
What makes the book work is that there is a moral to it--that there's nothing wrong with waiting to have sex. And that girls shouldn't tell guys they're virgins because guys will immediately dump them. But she doesn't seem to get that in her case she was so obnoxious that she was going to get dumped whether she told them or not.
Most recent customer reviews
This was an ego trip that was boring and lifeless