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Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded Hardcover – September 13, 2008

3.8 out of 5 stars 34 customer reviews
Book 1 of 2 in the Whatever Series

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

John Scalzi won the 2006 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and his debut novel Old Man’s War was a finalist for science fiction’s Hugo Award. His other books include The Ghost Brigades, The Android’s Dream and The Last Colony. He has won the Hugo Award, the Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Award for science-fiction, the Seiun, The Kurd Lasswitz and the Geffen awards. His weblog, Whatever, is one of the most widely-read web sites in modern SF. Born and raised in California, Scalzi studied at the University of Chicago. He lives in southern Ohio with his wife and daughter.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.


Jul 13 2007

A Hindu chaplain was called to offer a prayer at the US Senate yesterday; the response of some Christian nutbags was to slip in and disrupt the prayer because the Hindu chaplain wasn’t giving his shoutout to Jesus. They were trundled out, the prayer was given, and yet, somehow, the Republic did not fall. I think we can all thank Vishnu for that.

Look, this one is simple: Some people really and truly believe that what Jesus wants is for them to be dicks to everyone who isn’t their particular, mushy-headed stripe of Christian. And if it’s what Jesus wants, then it can’t be wrong. Now, I’m entirely sure that in their minds they can come up with a better explanation for their activities than "Jesus wants me to be a dick"—they may actually be able to find some internal calculus that has them being a dick out of love for us godless idolaters and saving our worthless heathen souls, even—but the rest of us can call it for what it is. And also, of course, when these Dicks for Jesus try to offer up some alternate explanation for their behavior, I think it’s fair to remind them of a number of things:

1. Whatever the rationale, they’re being dicks.

2. At no point in the Bible does Jesus say "be a dick in My name."

3. Lots of other Christians seem to get through life without feeling called upon to be a dick in the service of Christ.

4. Indeed, when many of these Christians discover to their dismay that they’ve been a dick about something, they will frequently fall to their knees and say, "Forgive me, Lord, for I have been a total dick."

5. And He does.

6. That’s a hint.

Now, the chances of any of this penetrating the mental shield of righteousness is pretty low, so you shouldn’t expect anything more than a slightly befuddled look that shades into the growing suspicion that they’re jeopardizing their very souls conversing with one such as you, you and your heathen logic. But it’s worth a try, and if it doesn’t work, at least they know what you think of their somewhat less-than-Christlike behavior. Because nothing digs at the heart of a Christdick more than the knowledge that someone thinks they’re doing their Christianity wrong. Gets ‘em all defensive and huffy, which is better than them being smug and self-righteous, in my book.

Excerpted from Your Hate Mail Will be Graded: A Decade of Whatever by John Scalzi.
Copyright 2008 by John Scalzi.
Published in 2008 by A Tom Doherty Associates Book.
All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the Publisher.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Subterranean; Signed Limited edition (September 13, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1596062118
  • ISBN-13: 978-1596062115
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #661,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Marko Kloos on October 14, 2008
Format: Hardcover
"Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded" is a collection of blog posts from John Scalzi's long-running blog, "Whatever". Scalzi is a very good fiction writer, but he's also a terrific essayist, and his blog posts often turn out to be thoughtful, well-reasoned, humorous, and sensitive essays on subjects as varied as entertainment, current affairs, religion, politics, world history, and parenting.

(Scalzi is also a goofball of the first order, so all those gems are interspersed with application of pork products to household pets, and the inventive utilization of Photoshop skills. Sadly, the print version leaves out much of the Photoshop goodness.)

"Hate Mail" is sort of a "Best of..." collection from Whatever, the distilled essence of the blog. Scalzi routinely knocks the ball out of the park when it comes to "big" blog posts, the kind that gets linked on Instapundit and ends up getting emailed to everyone with an email account in the Northern Hemisphere. "Hate Mail" is a whole book full of such gems, and it also serves as an interesting evolutionary record of "Whatever", which Scalzi has maintained continuously for ten years.

Best of all, this blog content now comes on fantastically portable wireless technology that requires no batteries, and no Internet access.

For fans of Scalzi's writing, "Hate Mail" is a handy compilation of some of his best work...and for those who want to see how to write compelling blog entries on a wide variety of subjects, here's a great collection of examples.
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I've tried to read a few of his novels, and i can never get past the first few pages. Why i ever got this book remains a mystery to me, but i loved it. Scalzi is a clever fellow with enough opinions to wear out a keyboard.

Yes, it's true that all of the content of this book is available for free online. If you're the kind of person who gets all upset about paying for something you could have gotten, in some functional analog, without paying, then by all means, read the blog. As the author notes, though, it's a bit of a scavenger hunt to find all the old entries due to various hosting and format changes.

I've docked one star because there's no index. The entries are out of chronological order, often thematically linked, and that's fine until you're trying to find that one you read a few days ago that you just have to show to your friend/sibling/partner/guy sitting next to you on the subway. All i needed was a table of contents to save minutes upon minutes of my time, but apparently seconds of the publisher's time wasn't worth it.
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Format: Paperback
I had read John Scalzi as a fiction author. I don't spend as much time noodling around on the internet as hunting and capturing the things I want in quick bursts. As a result, I am not much up on blog culture. I enjoyed reading the first and title article ("Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded") and picked up this book to check out the rest. I must admit that it amused me to pick up a (used) dead tree collection of electronic posts. Sort of an oxymoron meets cognitive dissonance.

While I am only halfway through or so, I have to recommend this book highly for the occasional essay on a diverse selection of topics. It's a lot like that opinionated friend who talks intelligently and convincingly about different things every time you spend time together. His content is organized, well thought-out and pithy without using straw man tactics. The nice thing about this book is that you can go from reading about why he disparages the various political groupings when taken to extremes to reading a meditation about fatherhood in the space of two pages. The bad thing about this book is that much like that friend who has a different topic each time, there's no effective way to navigate the book if you recall a clever bit and want to quote it to someone. I think it needs an coordinate index like the one James Burke put in The Knowledge Web to enable the reader to jump around to related topics when desired.

One quick note - Scalzi writes as if he shares many of my core values: the Golden Rule should hold true even if political parties and organized religion show weaknesses at times, there's a value to a working class background supplemented by education, sometimes saying outrageous things is the best way to make people think about what they really do believe, and gay marriage doesn't particularly undermine my own heterosexual marriage. If you are sensitive about a particular belief system you hold, then he will probably scandalize and irritate you.
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Not exactly as titled but a great read. It should have been longer. Lots of fun and who knew that a writer of military fiction would turn out to be a liberal on many points (but a conservative on many others) almost like a real life normal person? I thoroughly enjoyed this book and recommend it to people who want some quirky humor on a summer day at the beach. I enjoyed it so much that I may have missed some of the bathing beauties ;)
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I have to admit something here, I haven't completed this book. It's long and it's made up of a bunch of blogs that John Scalzi has published since the previous millennium. Having said that I will complete it because John's Scalzi's writing is a lot of fun. Unfortunately John is a bit of a liberal (like myself) and his ramblings will probably not ever be read by the people who should read them (the no-minds). He discusses writing (its a hard way to make a living), religion, gay marriage, raising children, and John Kerry.
Books like this used to be made up of Newspaper columns and they were shorter, now they are made up of blogs. If you like John Scalzi's writing then read this book, no big words, just some good thoughts.
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