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Michael Delman

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Your Kid's Gonna Be Okay: Building the Executive Function Skills Your Child Needs in the Age of Attention Kindle Edition

by Michael Delman (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

4.5 110 ratings

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Do you do too much for your kid out of fear they will never make it in the world without your oversight? Are you frustrated or worried about your ‘tween, teen, or young adult who seems lazy or unmotivated? Do you see your child unable to reach their potential because they are disorganized, scattered, and can’t manage their time?

In Your Kid’s Gonna Be Okay: Building the Executive Function Skills Your Child Needs in the Age of Attention, Michael Delman tackles the big worries that keep parents awake at night. In a conversational tone informed by deeply-rooted expertise, Delman illustrates how to connect meaningfully with your child and encourage habits that lead to success in school — and in life.

Your Kid’s Gonna Be Okay helps parents understand the critical skills needed for effective self-management and provides specific strategies and tools to help kids become motivated, accountable, and independent. Through engaging stories that illustrate how we all build Executive Function skills, Delman demonstrates how kids can change their habits as they pave their own path toward competence today and confidence in their future. Parents of kids with ADHD or other learning differences - or parents worried about how their child can manage distractions will benefit from Delman's experience as an educator, an Executive Function coach, and as a parent.

About the Author

Michael Delman provides the guiding vision for Beyond BookSmart and has pioneered their revolutionary approach to teaching students Executive Function skills. Massachusetts Distinguished Educator Michael Delman founded Beyond BookSmart, previously Thinking Outside the Classroom, in 2006 and serves as its CEO. An educator since 1991, Michael's primary mission has always been to make learning relevant and to help young people discover and develop their strengths. His undergraduate degree is from Brown University and he earned his Master's in Education from Lesley University.

Michael originated the application of Dr. James Prochaska's Transtheoretical Model of Change to help students improve academic performance. Beyond BookSmart's adaptation of this evidence-based model of behavior change has been endorsed by Dr. Prochaska. A dynamic presenter, Michael has been a featured speaker on Executive Function skills as they relate to academic success at the 2018 national Learning Disabilities Association conference, Lynn University Transitions Conference, Mass Mentor Northeast Regional, Association of Experiential Education, GISHA Conference, Independent Educational Consultants Association, Parents of Accelerated Learners in NYC, and to numerous neuropsychological practices and schools throughout the country.

Michael is the co-founder of the McAuliffe Regional Charter Public School in Framingham, Massachusetts, a middle school in its 12th year of operation teaching over 350 students through the Expeditionary Learning Outward Bound school model. He served as McAuliffe's founding principal and has served as an active member of its Board of Trustees since 2008. Prior to that, Michael taught in the Southborough Public Schools for eight years, during which time he received the Anti-Defamation League's Teacher Incentive Award for creating a superior learning environment for his students. --This text refers to the paperback edition.

From the Author

In this book, I share with you the tools and strategies I have learned and/or developed over the past twenty-five years as a parent, teacher, school principal, and founder of the nation's largest Executive Function coaching company. I also share a few of the many mistakes I made as a child, some just misguided, and others a bit more mischievous. The lessons I've learned were the result of academic study, to be sure, but also of personal failures, journals full of reflection, and the ongoing decision to use myself as an experiment to see how much I could grow and improve.

My goal is to help you understand how children learn and grow, to add tools to your parenting repertoire, and to show you the skills you need to offer support in a way that your child will appreciate rather than resent. As a result, your child will become more capable and more confident both in school and beyond.

Since academics are my own first love, they get the lion's share of examples in this book. As I've spent more than twenty-five years teaching, hiring and supervising educators, developing curriculum, and advising schools, academics are what I know best. In addition, school is where most kids spend a great deal of their time and energy: seven or more hours a day, 180+ days a year, for at least twelve years, not counting pre-school, kindergarten, college, and graduate school. Add in everybody's favorite activity--homework--and we are looking at the central part of a young person's life.

Moreover, school matters. Whether or not we remember and use the Pythagorean theorem every day, or discuss the ins and outs of ancient civilizations with our friends, we all need the broader Executive Function skills that school demands. To succeed in school, children need to learn how to control their impulses and treat others with respect, how to stay focused, how to break down directions, how to be aware of what they know and don't know and then seek help when they're stuck, how to stay organized and manage their time, and a host of other relevant skills that this book will explore. School matters because it's a training ground for life. School matters because it is a place where Executive Function skills, whether they are taught or not, are always expected.

This book untangles several of the most important obstacles to children's growth, confidence, and success, and offers solutions for helping them. Whether your children are typical learners or have specific learning challenges, such as ADHD or dyslexia, the skills discussed in this book will help you help them. The book begins in chapter 1 with motivation, the prerequisite to sustained effort. By focusing on the values implicit in having a motivated child, I aim to shift the conversation away from rewards and punishments and, instead, toward finding and emphasizing the intersection of your child's talents and passions. Chapter 2 uses an evidence-based model from psychology to explore how people change and how we can help facilitate that change in our children. Chapter 3 shows how we can help our children manage their anxiety, as we learn to manage our own worries about them. It addresses the question of how to achieve the optimal state of peak performance where our children are sufficiently motivated without being held back by fear of failure. Chapter 4 looks at attention, a skillset that includes task initiation (getting started), sustained attention (staying focused), and goal-directed persistence (finishing the job). This particular challenge is especially acute in the Age of Attention when time-sucking activities are almost irresistible and so readily available. Chapter 5 explores the higher-level, more complex Executive Function skills such as prioritizing, planning, time management, and organization. Finally, chapter 6 explores the capacity of reflection: how to learn and improve from experience. This skill, as it develops, can serve as the master key to improving other areas.

Scratch beneath the surface of kids who seem lazy, oppositional, or bored, and you'll usually see young people with opinions, drive, and skills. Removing the impediments to their success and showing them how they can achieve their potential has been my life's work, and I hope that some of the successes, failures, and strategies I share in this book will help you to help them. --This text refers to the paperback edition.

Review

KIRKUS REVIEW

A blueprint for teaching responsible habits to young kids.

Debut author Delman's opening assertion in this bracing book is solidly optimistic: "Scratch beneath the surface of kids who seem lazy, oppositional, or bored, and you'll usually see young people with opinions, drive, and skills." Throughout these quick, informative chapters, Delman, the CEO of student coaching company Beyond BookSmart, gives his target audience of parents practical and thematic advice on how to implement less coercive and more cooperative parenting methods. Many of these revolve around encouraging "Executive Functioning" skills, which involve long-term planning and perspective--essential components to future success and happiness. The skills specifically center on controlling impulses, doing unpleasant but necessary tasks, setting priorities, staying mentally flexible, and, especially, focusing one's attention effectively. The book is cleareyed about the fact that young people can struggle in an age in which technology allows so many things to compete for their attention. The book's style is concise and upbeat, even when it's addressing issues such as boredom, recalcitrance, and defiance. Along the way, it provides parents with many different approaches to these and other age-old problems--and it offers many prompts for parents to check themselves along the way. Many of the author's approaches are eye-openingly simple. In a discussion about setting goals, for example, Delman argues convincingly for ditching vague generalities ("be a better student") in favor of doable specifics ("improve my English grade this quarter"). The book's lack of condescension and fault-finding is also a revelation.

An insightful and fresh approach to parenting.

"Thanks to his reassuring tone, Delman leaves parents with a well-stocked toolbox of practical ideas to help their children organize and navigate their schoolwork, schedules, and lives." (BookLife)

The BookLife Prize review
A book of immense value to parents and educators alike.
Your Kid's Gonna Be Okay is a practical and engaging handbook for parents that provides guidance for parents on communicating effectively with their children. Delman offers thoughtful tips for promoting healthy social and organizational skill development. The tone is conversational and accessible. Organizationally, the work flows clearly and is easy to navigate. The narrative balances genuine advice with concrete suggestions for practical application. The book's originality lies in its holistic approach. Delman provides insights from the author's own experiences as an educator, while drawing from and synthesizing existing research and resources. Delman's book is very well executed, providing insightful knowledge for adults striving to nurture the growth and healthy development of their children. Delman writes with confidence and compassion, ultimately delivering sensible and relevant advice. --This text refers to the paperback edition.

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English
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Beyond BookSmart Inc.
Publication date

July 9, 2018
File size

3242 KB
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Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07FDK6W9W
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Beyond BookSmart Inc.; 1st edition (July 9, 2018)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 9, 2018
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 3242 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 0 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #585,580 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #150 in School-Age Children
- #252 in Parenting Teenagers (Kindle Store)
- #419 in School-Age Children Parenting

Customer Reviews:
4.5 110 ratings

About the author

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Michael Delman

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Michael Delman provides the guiding vision for Beyond BookSmart and has pioneered their revolutionary approach to teaching students Executive Function skills. Massachusetts Distinguished Educator Michael Delman founded Beyond BookSmart, previously Thinking Outside the Classroom, in 2006 and serves as its CEO. An educator since 1991, Michael’s primary mission has always been to make learning relevant and to help young people discover and develop their strengths. His undergraduate degree is from Brown University and he earned his Master’s in Education from Lesley University.

Michael originated the application of Dr. James Prochaska’s Transtheoretical Model of Change to help students improve academic performance. Beyond BookSmart's adaptation of this evidence-based model of behavior change has been endorsed by Dr. Prochaska. A dynamic presenter, Michael has been a featured speaker on Executive Function skills as they relate to academic success at the 2018 national Learning Disabilities Association conference, Lynn University Transitions Conference, Mass Mentor Northeast Regional, Association of Experiential Education, GISHA Conference, Independent Educational Consultants Association, Parents of Accelerated Learners in NYC, and to numerous neuropsychological practices and schools throughout the country.

With over 300 Executive Function coaches, Beyond BookSmart has branches in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Pennsylvania, and Florida. Michael has also led the way in establishing on-line Executive Function coaching both nationally and internationally.

Michael is the co-founder of the McAuliffe Regional Charter Public School in Framingham, Massachusetts, a middle school in its 15th year of operation teaching over 350 students through the Expeditionary Learning Outward Bound school model. He served as McAuliffe’s founding principal and has served as an active member of its Board of Trustees since 2008. Prior to that, Michael taught in the Southborough Public Schools for eight years, during which time he received the Anti-Defamation League’s Teacher Incentive Award for creating a superior learning environment for his students.

He is also the proud father of two great kids.

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Kerri Kenerson

This book is a game changer...

Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2018

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Honestly speaking, I had given up reading books for the purpose of helping my son (and myself to be a better parent). As a busy working mom who wants to be interacting with my child when he is at home, I don't have the will or patience to spend time sifting through literature that doesn't speak to me immediately. Then came Michael Delman's book.

The title alone caught me because it spoke straight to my heart. Michael gets it. His compassionate and intelligent approach is obviously based on sound theory, but you can tell that it is based on first-hand experience as well.

Michael is also about the whole child. His approach wraps practical tools within the scope of their being as unique and exciting humans. I loved it when he wrote: "Often we end up spending so much energy in the day-to-day, trying to coax our kids to do their homework and clean their rooms, it's easy to lose sight of the possibilities...supporting our children in the pursuit of their passions also affirms that they matter, not just for us as parents, but for their own satisfaction, for all that they as unique individuals bring to the world."

The concepts are tangible, make sense, and I'm excited about applying them. Thank you, Michael, for writing this book.

17 people found this helpful

Helpful

J Anderson

I loved Your Kid’s Gonna Be Okay!

Reviewed in the United States on August 12, 2018

Verified Purchase

I teach high school and the level of anxiety amongst my students is very high. Michael Delman’s book is full of helpful advice about how to help students manage that anxiety. For example, he employs a clever little “quiz” in which he “tests” students on their middle names. Of course, it’s easy for kids to answer correctly—no matter how high the stakes, they never forget their own names—which illustrates beautifully that it’s not testing per se that causes anxiety, but other issues around testing (content, directions, amount of time, etc.). I’m definitely going to use this exercise with my students.

Your Kid’s Gonna Be Okay is full of such wonderful “hands-on” techniques for working with kids. In fact, it’s one of the things I love most about the book: all the concrete tips and tricks, not to mention the enlightening personal anecdotes gleaned from Delman’s many years of experience as both a parent and a teacher. I highly recommend this book to anyone who interacts with kids on a regular basis. It’s engaging, useful, well-written—in a word: terrific!

3 people found this helpful

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Sue Sells Houses

is wonderful! Michael blends a very readable combination of humor ...

Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2018

Verified Purchase

Michael Delman's book, "Your Kid's Gonna Be Okay", is wonderful! Michael blends a very readable combination of humor and wisdom with his vast knowledge and experience in this field. Using anecdotes and experiences to highlight the struggles for kids and parents alike, his ability to teach us about raising confident kids is so valuable. I love that there is not too much “clinical speak” but rather this is written in language we can all relate to and in a way that engages the reader. Connecting the role of executive functioning with academic success and resilience and giving the reader “Something to Try”… actual tasks to practice in real life – fabulous! Personally, with an 11 year old son, I so appreciated the wisdom about gaming addiction and procrastination and the concept of the time-sucking activities pulling us away from real life. Michaels use of humor and personal stories is wonderful and colors the whole book with an optimism often not seen when writing about this subject. Every parent should have this book!

6 people found this helpful

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Twilllie

Very helpful ideas for both Kids and Parents

Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2018

So many great points and ideas in this book...

A few of my favorites...

- Look for the intersection of what your good at and what your passionate about.
- Also loved the idea that we help kids with self awareness, so they can think about what they know and what we don't know, so rather than just feeling overwhelmed, they can focus on the areas they need improvement.
- The idea that we need to help kids make choices rather that having their time, just pulled in to clever marketing schemes.

3 people found this helpful

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Rach Kromp

Must read book for parents - helps elementary to college parents for sure!

Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2018

Verified Purchase

It felt like this book was written for me, both as a parent and an educator. The need for both a greater awareness of what Executive Function skills are for us all and how to help kids today manage them is HUGE for more success and happiness for all! I found tips and strategies to be able to better approach both my daughter and my students. Surprisingly, I even learned a few new ways to approach things that I want to work on about myself. Gotta love when that can happen too. The author presented the material in an easy to read format with humorous and relatable stories and anecdotes, relevant apps, and some simple but meaningful techniques or experiments to try with your child (or student). The format made flagging pages/sections that I want to return to so easy. I’m hopeful he will write a follow up book in the coming years too. Thank you, and my kiddo thanks you too!

5 people found this helpful

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Perry Davis

Limited approach to topic

Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2018

Verified Purchase

Did not meet my expectations.

One person found this helpful

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Rescate Books

Parents are gonna be okay

Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book is chock-full of practical advice for parents and kids. The book gives wonderful ways for parents to improve their communication at home, to have realistic expectations, and become more helpful as loving supporters. Mr. Delman clearly has had the experience as a parent and former teacher. His anecdotes and humor make this a very enjoyable read. He comes across as a true ally to the adult reader, a great friend, who points to just the right thing to do when one feels frustrated and confused while parenting a child that seems to be struggling or not meeting up to one’s expectations. The author’s practical wisdom is matched by his big heart, and I am confident that checking in with the book from time to time will improve many families: both kids and parents are gonna be okay!

2 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

A. M. Balderson

Loads of great advice

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 29, 2018

Verified Purchase

Excellent for parents everywhere, especially for those with older children struggling with focus, attention and motivation. Loads of handy examples and all backed up with rigorous science.

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