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Your One-Year-Old: The Fun-Loving, Fussy 12-To 24-Month-Old Paperback – May 1, 1983
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About the Author
Louise Bates Ames is a lecturer at the Yale Child Study Center and assistant professor emeritus at Yale University. She is co-founder of the Gesell Institute of Child Development and collaborator or co-author of three dozen or so books, including The First Five Years of Life, Infant and Child in the Culture of Today, Child Rorschach Responses, and the series Your One-Year-Old through Your Ten- to Fourteen-Year-Old. She has one child, three grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren.
Frances L. Ilg wrote numerous books, including The Child from Five to Ten, Youth: The Years from Ten to Sixteen, and Child Behavior, before her death in 1981. She was also a co-founder of the Gesell Institute of Child Development at Yale.
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Top Customer Reviews
The beginning of the book was interesting enough, even comforting at times, describing the "normal" phases for a child of this age. It gave me some much needed perspective on what can be some very trying stages. I feel like it focused mainly on the 18 month old, but also would touch on 15 and 21 month olds.
I have to say though, I found many things odd, and started thinking maybe this book was written a long time ago, (it was,) or the author is just very old, or comes from a very different background culturally. But the further I read, I became very confused that a Waldorf school would recommend one of this author's books. Anyone who practices Attachment Parenting would probably not be on board with a lot of the ideas in this book.
She recommends spending LESS time with your child if you are the parent your child seems to reserve their worst behavior for. She recommends having the child spend more time with a babysitter, an absurd, sad, and not always financially feasible solution. Multiple times she recommended a harness. Basically put a leash on your child, like a dog. She also recommended not taking them out in public and avoiding all social situations if they are behaving badly. This hardly seems like a solution that applies to real life, and seems a bit ridiculous.
What stood out to me most was in the back of the book where she responds to letters submitted to some kind of advice column she must have. First I was a little shocked at how almost every parent expressing that they were having difficulty with their baby admitted to using corporal punishment of some kind, usually spanking or slapping the child, and one mother describes "biting back" her biting 21-month-old. What was the most shocking was the author's responses which either ignored or barely advised against this behavior. This tells me that the author is clearly not versed in the most recent studies that clearly show us how spanking and hitting children, especially BABIES, negatively affects them in many ways and does zero to teach them anything. Showing a child that you solve your problems this way just teaches them to fear you and solve their problems with their hands rather than their brain. "Hitting is naughty," as you hit your child. Ridiculous.
This statement in particular, to a woman whose 22-month-old granddaughter bites, "Whenever she seems about to bite, cup your hana (sic) quickly under her chin and bring it up suddenly and hard. Thus, if she bites anything, it will be her own tongue." OH THAT'S NICE. That's just wrong for so many reasons, I can't even believe it.
I'm sure some parents would read this book and be fine with these things, but I am not. It is not how my husband and I are raising our children. I wish I hadn't wasted my time on this book, there are so many other books I wish I had read instead, as I don't have much time to read.