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Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender Paperback – July 15, 1980
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About the Author
Frances L. Ilg wrote numerous books, including The Child from Five to Ten, Youth: The Years from Ten to Sixteen, and Child Behavior, before her death in 1981. She was also a co-founder of the Gesell Institute of Child Development at Yale.
Top Customer Reviews
The text is reasonably neutral and instructive on hot topics such as discipline, sleep habits, and diet.
We have found this series of books to be an outstanding resource. If you look in the back of the popular Doris Herman book about preschool, you will find that she does, too.
The book does not claim to offer a solution or be the perfect expert (thank you!), but gives a few suggestions to parents to get through this period of development. I left my reading of it feeling much better about my parenting job.
Some of the language is dated (as are most classics), but I hang onto the statement, "every mother of a 2 1/2 year old needs plenty of breaks." Although one commentator questions the author's suggestion to limit choices at 2 1/2, she seems to limit that to this tough period where the child has a lot of new things happening. Limiting choices really helped in our case.
I recommend this book for any parent with a two year old.
These books are slim, fast reads with lots of really helpful observations and advice. Especially helpful to me: the explanation of the different phases between equilibrium and disequilibrium that virtually every child goes through; in later books the concept of "inwardized" vs. "outwardized" behavior is discussed and explained. These concepts were of critical importance to me in understanding the "whys" of puzzling behavior changes with my children.
Each book has the same basic layout of chapter headings, from "Characteristics of the Age", "The Child and Other People" (i.e., with mother, father, siblings, friends),"Routines, Health, and Tensional Outlets", "Discipline", "General Interests and Abilities", "The Child's Mind", and so on. The layout makes it quite easy to flip to whatever issue you are currently interested in.
They also (in some of the books) address possible food sensitivities, which I think particularly important; also very helpful -- each book has a section with advice on the planning of the birthday party for the age (with developmentally appropriate advice on how many to invite, what to expect, etc.).
My only complaint is rather minor: the pictures and some of the wording chosen are quite dated at times, which understandably might hinder credibility for some readers. However, the main concepts are not in any way altered by this. My own mother got a good laugh out of the pictures and commented that the kids' clothing and haircuts looked exactly like my siblings and I did back in the 70's!
If you can get past the "time warp" pictures, you can learn a lot -- I have found that these books are extremely accurate at describing my children in any given stage of development; I have often said to my husband in the middle of reading one of them: "Oh my gosh, you have GOT to hear this -- this describes (name of child)so perfectly, it's almost like a book all about him/her!!"
Overall a very helpful overview of childhood development; I recommend it/them to any parent, childcare professional, or anyone else who spends considerable time with children.