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You're Not Too Much: Intensive Lives in an Expansive World Paperback – July 12, 2016
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The Amazon Book Review
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About the Author
Leela Sinha is a Unitarian Univeralist minster who studied at Carleton College and Meadville/Lombard eological School. In addition, she has trained at Coaches Training Institute, Green Mountain Institute, and the International House of Reiki. Her experiences and observations from years of work with people in a broad variety of contexts as community minister, coach, speak- er, consultant, and bodyworker led to the development of the SIEF Framework. She lives on the coast of Maine with her two cats.
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Top Customer Reviews
For what it's worth, I've spent thirty years as an intensive squished in some of the most extreme ways. When my friend shared this book, I actually asked if it would still apply to me, as most if not all of my intensive qualities had been abused out of me. She said most definitely yes.
While I had accepted I would always be "too much," in true Intensive fashion I decided people would either love it or screw off.
Even more than teaching me how to accept myself and see that no, thinking That Way isn't just because I'm inherently wrong but is in fact amazing (!), it taught me how Expansives think, how I can communicate with them, express my needs in ways they can understand, and negotiate successfully in my Intensive way without scaring the natives.
For this reason alone this book is worth its weight in gold.
Leela, whatever else you do in this realm, I am 110% there. Whatever help you need, you have one screaming passionate Intensive (is there any other kind?) ready to help. <3
Rev. Sinha posits that thirty percent of us are Intensives and have a hard time fitting into what she calls a more Expansive-based society. Expansives value quiet, calm, regular hours, consistent effort, and fitting in. Expansives tend to be creative, ambitious, passionate, idea-driven people, who work in bursts of energy, then take days to rest and recover. Most entrepreneurs (raising my hand, here) tend to be Intensive to one degree or another. That really explains a lot.
The book not only explains her framework, but also offers practical advice for living as (or with) an Intensive in a world that’s not really set up for us. She discusses a wide variety of life areas, including relationships, work, money, leadership, and sex. In chapters like “Struggle is Not a Virtue” and “The Utility of Distraction,” Rev. Sinha helps Intensives learn that we are not “wrong” just because we differ from “the norm.” She offers ways to live more harmoniously with our natural tendencies, and throughout the book she also gives advice to Expansives on how to relate with their Intensive family members, friends, and co-workers.
I highly recommend this book. The writing is clear and accessible. The framework makes good sense, and is based on the author’s own experience as well as research she’s done in various communities. Whether or not you are an Intensive (and you can take a quiz on her website to find out for sure), “You’re Not Too Much” will be helpful to you in your daily life.
I highly recommend this for anyone who has been told they were too intense or anyone who has wondered what makes their intense friends or family members tic.