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Zen and the Art of Falling in Love Paperback – February 2, 2004
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From Publishers Weekly
To find love, take off your shoes, sit on a cushion and do nothing, advises the author of Zen Miracles. These and 10 other Zen-based practices, Shoshanna says, will help prepare you to receive love, and, eventually, to build lasting, meaningful relationships. Each Zen instruction is like "a metaphor for our entire lives": consciously taking off our shoes teaches us about mindfulness; sitting quietly on a cushion allows us to get to know ourselves and our patterns of behavior; doing nothing helps us learn to let go of our need to control things and people. Shoshanna goes on to explain how other practices, from cooking to "struggling with your koan," also help us find our way to being in love, "our natural state." For readers seeking hands-on, practical advice for romantic rejuvenation, Shoshanna's guide may feel as weightless as the smoke rising from the nearest incense burner: there are no chapters on the Zen method to approaching that office crush, or dating someone who already has children, for example. But readers searching for broader meaning will revel in her ability to weave together the basic tenets of relationship psychology with the self-realization techniques of Zen practice. Nor is Shoshanna's advice limited to affairs of the heart; much of her counsel-to be open, loving and full of faith-feels relevant to all aspects of life.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Body & Soul A powerful, potentially life-changing book.
Marianne Williamson bestselling author of A Return to Love Dr. Brenda Shoshanna's words are wonderful.
Top customer reviews
The book needs of you to be brutally honest with yourself, and might bring some tears to your eyes when you evaluate your past or present relationships and realize that you are/were part of the problem. Still the book does not intend blaming yourself, but making identify which of your behaviour or attitudes are sabotaging your romantic relationships.
The book is structured in three main sections: 1/ Becoming Available. 2/. Zen in Action. 3/ Developing endurance. Each part finishes with a summary of the teachings in it and a series of exercises and journaling questions to work on. They come handy as a summary when you do a second reading. My fav section is the second one, as tackles most of the issues that are important to me in relating and dealing with falling in love, dealing with trouble in relationships, and growing relationships in a healthy way.
My main concern with the teachings of the book is the fine line that separates being completely giving and accepting of a situation and becoming a doormat. Although it is clearly specified that they are two very different things, where do we put the line? I would have liked a bit of more detail and comment on that.
The price is fantastic especially having into account the quality of the book. Make yourself a favour and buy a copy.
The approaches and lessons taught can be applied not only to love relationships, but to work and life in general. Some of the case studies can be a little cheesy, but I completely relate to so many examples that I'm amazed. I can be pretty "Type A" about certain things, and this has helped me to... enjoy the moment by setting aside expectations, learn to just be.
I think what this world needs is a lot more Zen. Read this book and pass it on to your friends and newly engaged or married couples!
For those of us who are lay or formal practitioners of Zen (it doesn't matter for how long), this book is one of it's kind in that it takes specific Zen practices/priciples and relates them to challenges and struggles a person faces when she/he is in a relationship.
My only issue is with some of the stories of 'real-life' people used by the author. They are meant to illustrate some point the author is trying to make but they end up being annoying, irrelevant or worse, counter-productive.
Overall: Highly recommended
The quotes interspersed throughout the book, as well as the "Stepping Stones" at the end of each chapter make this a book filled with practical, meangingful and real information that is sure to affect, inspire and find its way into your life (usually when you least expect it!).