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The Zombie's Survival Guide: Thrive In The Zombie Apocalypse After You Turn... Paperback – September 28, 2010
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From describing all the gruesome, but manageable, changes your newly-dead body will experience to advising you on which groups of Healthies (the as yet still living) will pose the greatest threat to your perhaps surprisingly vulnerable corpse, this invaluable guide gives step-by-step instructions on how to be the best Dead you can be. And as Het assures this is the inevitable fate that awaits us all, this is a guide you'll want to study thoroughly and keep close at hand for future easy reference.
Always hilarious, yet properly gross, Calvin A.L. Miller's "The ZOMBIE'S Survival Guide" is a quick, fun read that could well be masking a satirically-scathing social commentary, during the reading of which you may find yourself wondering if sections are referring to the thinking Dead or the unthinking Living. Either way, it's a great read, recommended for the wonderful complementary diagrams (provided by artist Alan Gandy), as well as for the piquant wit of the author.
Funny and entertaining, as well as educational "The Zombie's Survival Guide" will make the Apocalypse a lot more fun.
Do yourself a favor, buy this book. When the outbreak happens you won't be scared, you'll be totally pumped about turning into a zombie.
The guide is written in a point of view style by an intelligent zombie. There are multiple `classes` of zombies and they range from your casual mentally challenged horde all the way to those that are nearly as intelligent as the `Healthies` (see: those that are still among the living.) While the higher functioning zombies have the intelligence to write this they no longer have the ability to actually write these type of guides. Fortunately for them there are plenty of healthy humans willing to write for them, at least on the threat of writing it or being eaten. (Granted they still were turned into late night snacks after the fact but the poor saps still had some kind of hope going for them, suckers.)
The guide though is for those who were just turned into a zombie. It's meant for those who need help adjusting to their new unlife as well as those entrepreneurs who want to work ahead on preparing for turning into a zombie. It has a great guide on how best to have your body set to be safer when you turn into the zombie as well as a chance to have a higher mental stability. It does of course involve being infected, wearing a skin tight biker suit or equivalent, and have a room stockpiled with meth. Apparently it `kick starts' your brain into functioning mostly normal as one of the undead.Read more ›
This is the first book I've read on how to survive the zombie apocalypse - as a zombie! I thought the book was damn funny - and yet I do feel more prepared in the event that I reach that point where I know I will turn. In fact, the book offers the advice to go ahead and infect yourself when you see the inevitable happening - on your own terms. Good advice. You can have your Kevlar suit and helmet, fresh meat, and other items ready once you pass through the re-animation shock - all this is explained in the book. The book suggests learning how to cook methamphetamine and stockpiling adrenaline, as these drugs will help you become a Class A Zombie. Oh, yeah, zombies are rated in classes from A to F, with A being the most intelligent - again, all explained in the book.
You'll also learn about the different types of healthy humans you'll encounter and how to attack them (hint - while they are sleeping or having sex is the best time), how to hunt and where to find food, where to live, and how to raise an army. This book is a must-have on any zombie fan's bookshelf because you never know when you might find yourself on the other side of the zombie apocalypse - the odds are against you remaining a human. The artwork from Alan Gandy is awesome and much of the art can be photocopied and used as a coloring book. Don't fight it - be prepared!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Best book ever it may be short but I know how to survive as the dead. I want to be a class A dead then I will teach the lower classes how to be better killing machinesPublished on April 16, 2013 by Danika
This was a great book!! Loved it! Hope I can find more books like it. Thanks for the great book.Published on January 15, 2013 by Emmah Grace April Zody
Very vague, but now my cognizance is coming back. The meth really helped with that. I went from a class c to a class A and am now a dead general due to survivalist nature before... Read morePublished on December 17, 2012 by Dustin Brown
This book had all the makings of a great read. The concept of the Zombie Apocalypse from the zombie's point of view was awesome. Read morePublished on November 17, 2012 by Micheal Keeton
This is the most useless book I have ever purchased. Not even written well enough to be funny. Don't bother to try it. A total pass.Published on October 4, 2011 by BrokenSailor
Before i start i have one bad thing to say..i wish i had read Het Madden first!...wait 2 bad things to say..its way to short!
That said this book is amazing! Read more
While the concept for this "guide" is moderately interesting, it is executed in an extremely poor manner. Grammatical errors abound and distract from the story. Read morePublished on December 20, 2010 by Anne Eichstadt
This book is alot of fun from cover to cover. Its a short read, but a good read. It's a good break from the serious blood and gore of the genre (Which I enjoy completely). Read morePublished on November 27, 2010 by Shawn Riddle