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Kristin Neff

Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive Hardcover – June 15, 2021

by Dr. Kristin Neff (Author)

4.6 742 ratings

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The author of Self-Compassion follows up her groundbreaking book with new ideas that expand our notion of self-kindness and its capacity to transform our lives, showing women how to balance tender self-acceptance with fierce action to claim their power and change the world.

Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, ten years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce. We must also act courageously in order to protect ourselves from harm and injustice, say no to others so we can meet our own needs, and motivate necessary change in ourselves and society. Gender roles demand that women be soft and nurturing, not angry or powerful. But like yin and yang, the energies of fierce and tender self-compassion must be balanced for wholeness and wellbeing.
Drawing on a wealth of research, her personal life story and empirically supported practices, Neff demonstrates how women can use fierce and tender self-compassion to succeed in the workplace, engage in caregiving without burning out, be authentic in relationships, and end the silence around sexual harassment and abuse. Most women intuitively recognize fierceness as part of their true nature, but have been discouraged from developing it. Women must reclaim their power in order to create a healthier society and find lasting happiness. In this wise, caring, and enlightening book, Neff shows women how to create balance within themselves, so they can help restore balance in the world.

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Print length

384 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Harper
Publication date

June 15, 2021
Dimensions

6 x 1.21 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

006299106X
ISBN-13

978-0062991065
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4.6 out of 5

742 global ratings

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M. M. Williams

good packing

Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2024

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arrived in perfect condition

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J. Thomson

Outstanding With One Major Flaw

Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2021

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I would strongly recommend this book to each and every woman. This is a seminal work and does an absolutely superb job of illuminating the path out of the systemic suppression of women within our society. I had loved Dr. Neff's previous book on Self-Compassion, and purchased this for my wife, since it dealt with women's issues. Then I started reading it... Through that reading, I identified with many of the psychological issues expressed, even as a man, and I also understood at a much deeper level, the sociological pressures placed on women.

So, the major flaw is that this book is NOT just for women, as it's title/sub-title might suggest. I would encourage any man who seeks to support their wife, daughter, or friend to read and introspectively analyze how we, as men, contribute in perpetuating the problem.

Awesome job, Dr. Neff!!!

224 people found this helpful

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Margo Wickersham

So powerful, it's impacting multiple generations!

Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2021

Verified Purchase

Your book and message is SO powerful, Kristin! You are helping so many people. Your work bringing to light the incredible value of self compassion has had one of the biggest impacts on my life. Learning that it’s not self indulgent to be compassionate with ourselves and that doing so helps us heal, which helps us enjoy life more is truly transformational. Now, my college age kids are reaping the benefits of my learning from you. They talk about being kind and compassionate with themselves, which is thrilling to me! My 20 year old daughter even projects the concept into her pet bearded dragon! “He’s practicing some self care right now, by burrowing into the soft blanket.” That’s how you know it sunk in!! So THANK YOU!!🙏🏻 You’ve given me and my children the gift that keeps giving:)💜💛💙

24 people found this helpful

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Rachel

Worth reading.

Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2021

Recommend.

On another note: baffled about Dr. Neff's choice of wording when describing how a young lady was preyed on by an older man. "He took her virginity," she said several times. Is this still a phrase we use with a straight face? How can it be? Especially for an educated feminist? So problematic. Also, would truly love to know why she chose that particular phrasing.

3 people found this helpful

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windoverwater

A book I think everyone should read

Reviewed in the United States on June 7, 2023

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I have been a fan of Mindful Self Compassion for years - this is a great book and a great reminder to anyone who struggles with being a friend to themselves.

5 people found this helpful

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Dr. Karen Bluth

A must read for all women!

Reviewed in the United States on July 18, 2021

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I read this book when vacationing with my two young adult daughters, and I can't tell you how many times I stopped reading and said "You have to hear this..." The message is courageous and powerful - conveying that it's totally okay - and encouraged - to embrace and celebrate all aspects of ourselves. Your anger and fear shouldn't be shunned, but brought to the fore, because it exists for a reason - a healthy and wholesome reason. We have lived in a patriarchy that has dominated how we relate and hold our place in the world, and it's past time that as women, we let that patriarchy go, step up, and claim our power. I will be buying copies of this book for many friends!

30 people found this helpful

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Emma

An Incredible Read from my favorite psychologist, Kristin Neff

Reviewed in the United States on November 1, 2021

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This book is exceptional. Kristin is a genius, and it is very inspiring and has given me so many great ideas for how to deal with sexism in my life. As a sexual assault survivor, I found certain sections of the book very triggering and difficult to read, but overall I am really glad I bought it. I have been a fan of Kristin for years, so it has been great to support her through her incredible achievement of this new book.

11 people found this helpful

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Janiene

Liberal Political Agenda for Activism a distraction

Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2021

The title of this book really attracted me. I am a person who has experienced the ramifications of living a Fierce life, experiencing the effects of attack, rejection, and social isolation and feel the author speaks to this beautifully. But at this stage in my life, self-compassion is really a journey to me...and way less about everything external to me. Once I successfully have love, compassion and forgiveness of self, it becomes real to extend that to others and move beyond what divides. Although some of those words are in the book, it was not at the depth I was hoping for. In fairness, the author clearly says this is not a spiritual book, but I just cant help myself and expected it to speak to my heart. Some did, some did not. On the details of "self" compassion, the book is very insightful and helpful and I picked up at least one tool that will likely stay with me forever. There were quite a few distractions however that made me almost abandon the book: the heavy emphasis on studies that proved over and over how important self compassion is versus tools on how to improve self compassion; and how frequently political and social activism was returned to make the key points and examples. It was a distraction for me because quite a few times I did not agree with the generalizations being made but I believe I understood the point to show up, speak up, bring your brave heart...what ever topic, need or cause that may be. But again, when the author turns her attention fully to the foundation of self compassion... wow, really great stuff.

20 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Megan

A great read for any aged woman

Reviewed in Canada on September 21, 2023

Verified Purchase

A great thoughtful read. Serves well for a bookclub

Fiona Murden

Honest, comforting and relatable while all based on robust research.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 9, 2024

Verified Purchase

I not only enjoyed this but loved the insight I gained. Thank you Kristin Neff as this has created a lifelong journey of how to accept myself to serve not only me, but those in my life and in order to play my part in making the world a better place.

Ferrix

I am not sure this one was as scientifically rigorous as the other material from this researcher

Reviewed in Italy on June 13, 2022

Verified Purchase

So, it may be my nonconfrontational ideas, or my different way to see the world but I didn't really like this book as much as the other material from the author. I am not sure there was as much of an intention to be scientific and unbiased as I would have liked. Yet this theme is very important and there's a lot of great material from the previous books that affords it the 3 stars

Jennifer

Just what I needed!!

Reviewed in Canada on August 29, 2023

Verified Purchase

Best book I have read in some time. Helped me feel seen and to refocus my priorities. Loved this book!!

T. Jaques

Life changing, scientifically backed up Super Power!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 21, 2023

Verified Purchase

Note: I used my husband's account to buy this book. (He has Prime!) So this review is by me (Robin), not Tony. 😎
I am so grateful to Kristin Neff. Her work is freeing me from a lifetime of self criticism. Self cruelty. Suffering. This book brings together so many important personal and social issues. And simplifies them. Everything works better when approached with self compassion. Tender and fierce. Learning about and then practicing self compassion is changing my life. After a lifetime of assuming I had to be harsh with myself to be a "good person", it turns out it is exactly the opposite!!! Scientifically proven! Woohoo! Lol.

2 people found this helpful

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