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Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Resilient Parenting Prioritizing Connection Over Correction Hardcover – September 13, 2022
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INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
An Instant Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Indie Bestseller
“This book is for any parent who has ever struggled under the substantial weight of caregiving—which is to say, all of us. Good Inside is not only a wise and practical guide to raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids, it’s also a supportive resource for overwhelmed parents who need more compassion and less stress. Dr. Becky is the smart, thoughtful, in-the-trenches parenting expert we’ve been waiting for!”—Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space
Dr. Becky Kennedy, wildly popular parenting expert and creator of @drbeckyatgoodinside, shares her groundbreaking approach to raising kids and offers practical strategies for parenting in a way that feels good.
Over the past several years, Dr. Becky Kennedy—known to her followers as “Dr. Becky”—has been sparking a parenting revolution. Millions of parents, tired of following advice that either doesn’t work or simply doesn’t feel good, have embraced Dr. Becky’s empowering and effective approach, a model that prioritizes connecting with our kids over correcting them.
Parents have long been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn’t work. From reward charts to time outs, many popular parenting approaches are based on shaping behavior, not raising humans. These techniques don’t build the skills kids need for life, or account for their complex emotional needs. Add to that parents’ complicated relationships with their own upbringings, and it’s easy to see why so many caretakers feel lost, burned out, and worried they’re failing their kids. In Good Inside, Dr. Becky shares her parenting philosophy, complete with actionable strategies, that will help parents move from uncertainty and self-blame to confidence and sturdy leadership.
Offering perspective-shifting parenting principles and troubleshooting for specific scenarios—including sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, tantrums, and more—Good Inside is a comprehensive resource for a generation of parents looking for a new way to raise their kids while still setting them up for a lifetime of self-regulation, confidence, and resilience.
- Print length336 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarper Wave
- Publication dateSeptember 13, 2022
- Dimensions6 x 1.09 x 9 inches
- ISBN-100063159481
- ISBN-13978-0063159488
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
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Boundaries are not what we tell kids not to do; boundaries are what we tell kids we will do.Highlighted by 6,519 Kindle readers
Building strong connections relies on the assumption that no one is right in the absolute, because understanding, not convincing, is what makes people feel secure in a relationship.Highlighted by 5,195 Kindle readers
Building resilience is about developing the capacity to tolerate distress, to stay in and with a tough, challenging moment, to find our footing and our goodness even when we don’t have confirmation of achievement or pending success.Highlighted by 4,689 Kindle readers
From the Publisher
Editorial Reviews
Review
“Dr. Becky is profoundly changing the way we parent our kids and the way we parent ourselves. Her innovative work shows parents how to challenge inherited beliefs and behaviors and shift the paradigm of how we understand family dynamics. Her work is proof that we can be the parents we want to be--and that we are all good inside." — Gabby Bernstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back
"Dr. Becky teaches parents that the foundation of child-rearing is building a solid relationship with their child and offering themselves grace along the way. Captivating and timely, Good Inside is a book parents can turn to at every stage of development, from infancy to adulthood, to continue building connection with their kids." — Nedra Tawwab, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
"Parenting is the most important job we’ll ever have and the one we get the least training for, so we tend to follow what our parents did—which, often, wasn’t great. Emphasizing connection first, Dr. Becky offers a new way to parent, sharing clear advice and examples for setting boundaries with love and compassion. Good Inside is the book I wish I'd had when I was raising my kids; and I'm so glad they'll have it as they raise theirs." — Richard Schwartz, PhD, founder of Internal Family Systems and author of No Bad Parts
"At a time when parents are sorely lacking in stamina and resources, Dr. Becky's wise words and deep insights offer a treasure trove of practical strategies and essential support. Good Inside is the book we all need right now, and the book that will continue to guide us for years to come." — Reshma Saujani, Founder of Girls Who Code and author of Pay Up
“Warning: reading this book might make you a better parent. Whether you’re struggling to get your toddler to calm down or your teenager to open up, Becky Kennedy is a fountain of wisdom. She strikes the ideal balance between affirming your best instincts and challenging you to rethink your worst reactions.” — Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife
"Dr. Becky makes a solid case that self-development and child development go hand in hand, and helps readers accomplish both. Flush with useful ideas...parents will find this [book] well worth their time." — Publishers Weekly
About the Author
Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three, recently named “The Millennial Parenting Whisperer” by TIME Magazine, who’s rethinking the way we raise our children. She specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and translating these ideas into simple, actionable strategies for parents to use in their homes. Dr. Becky's goal is to empower parents to feel sturdier and more equipped to manage the challenges of parenting.
Product details
- Publisher : Harper Wave (September 13, 2022)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 336 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0063159481
- ISBN-13 : 978-0063159488
- Item Weight : 1.05 pounds
- Dimensions : 6 x 1.09 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #594 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3 in Family Conflict Resolution
- #4 in Conflict Management
- #4 in Popular Child Psychology
- Customer Reviews:
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A book every parent and caregiver should read!
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About the author

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three, recently named “The Millennial Parenting Whisperer” by TIME Magazine, who’s rethinking the way we raise our children. She specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and translating these ideas into simple, actionable strategies for parents to use in their homes. Dr. Becky’s goal is to empower parents to feel sturdier and more equipped to manage the challenges of parenting. She has an expertise in parenting and child development with an emphasis on anxiety and resilience.
In just over a year, Dr. Becky has amassed a loyal and highly engaged community of over 800K followers on Instagram, created a library of over 20 popular parenting workshops, launched a top-rated podcast as well as a newsletter, published a Potty Handbook, and completed the manuscript of her forthcoming book, to be published in Fall 2022.
Her weekly podcast, Good Inside with Dr. Becky, immediately went to #1 on the Apple Podcasts “Kids & Family” chart upon launching in April 2021, was placed on the coveted New and Noteworthy list, and landed the #26 spot on the iTunes “Top Podcasts” chart in June 2021. Each week, she takes on tough parenting questions and delivers actionable guidance—all in short episodes, because she knows time is hard to find as a parent. Her breakthrough approach has enabled thousands of people to get more comfortable in discomfort, make repairs after mistakes, and always see the good inside. Listeners gain the tools to embody their authority while developing a stronger parent-child connection, helping them become the parent they want to be and helping their children develop the skills necessary for life success.
Dr. Becky received a BA in Psychology and Human Development, Phi Beta Kappa and summa cum laude, from Duke University and a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. She has a certificate in Relational Psychotherapy from the Steven Mitchell Center.
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Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book provides helpful insights and practical advice for parenting. They describe it as concise, easy to read, and intuitive. The book helps them reflect on their communication style and build meaningful connections with their children. Readers appreciate the audiobook quality and consider it a perfect companion to the podcast.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book helpful for parenting and relationships. They appreciate its insights, strategies, and practical advice covering many areas of parenting. The book provides useful scenarios and explanations behind recommendations.
"...It’s been equally helpful with ALL of my relationships, with my son, my spouse, my friends, colleagues, and even my patients...." Read more
"This book provides many specific strategies for parenting our kids that not only work in the moment, but also help build valuable connections with..." Read more
"...I think it has great ideas and suggestions and left me wanting to. know more...." Read more
"This book is AMAZING! My son is only one but this made me feel like I have some guidance for parenting him as he gets older...." Read more
Customers find the book provides practical strategies grounded in psychological research. They say it provides the mindset and tools to get it right. The principles are actionable and non-cheesy. Readers mention it strengthens their resolve to trust their adult kids.
"...than give me scripts for difficult moments and a better understanding of my son’s inner world...." Read more
"...many specific strategies for parenting our kids that not only work in the moment, but also help build valuable connections with our children...." Read more
"I have learned so much from this book. I think it has great ideas and suggestions and left me wanting to. know more...." Read more
"...It’s good to learn the ideas and begin practicing them now. I’m also trying the app and it’s like the book plus more right on demand when I need it...." Read more
Customers find the book concise and easy to read. They appreciate the clear explanations, mantras, and scenarios that are applied at home. The book is well-written with helpful examples and explanations.
"...This book did more than give me scripts for difficult moments and a better understanding of my son’s inner world...." Read more
"...Easy to read and jump around to sections to fit what you’re looking for." Read more
"...But I’ve been finding that Dr. Becky really has the clearest insight and the simplest ways of describing what our kids are going through and how to..." Read more
"...helped me identify sources of my own pain, start healing, and empower me with tools to approach my child's struggles with more compassion,..." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's approach. They find it refreshing and helpful for connecting with their children. The strategies are described as magical and helpful for preventing meltdowns.
"...I can parent with still being connected to my child and seeing the good inside each of them...." Read more
"...This is such a good and thorough book, and should be read by anyone who has a kid or was a kid at some point." Read more
"...It feels correct and truly good inside. This book will be referred to as my parenting “bible” from now on- amen. 10/10 recommend" Read more
"...the moment you pick up this book you’ll notice there is something unique about Good Inside...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's communication style. They find it helpful for examining their communication style and finding conversation material with their partners. The book provides excellent communication of current parenting views from a psychologist's perspective. It reminds them of the language and temperament they want to have with their kids.
"...from this book with her energy, sense of humor, and candid conversational style have a far greater impact than reading them on a page...." Read more
"...This is not gentle parenting. This is effective communication and empathy and it works. It applies to all relationships in your life." Read more
"...It reminds me of the language and temperament that I WANT to have with my kids and then I go do it! What a blessing Dr. Becky is in our lives...." Read more
"...Great conversation material with my partner as well" Read more
Customers find the book helpful for building strong relationships with children. They say it helps them build meaningful connections and appreciate their child's good qualities.
"...It has helped me see all the ways I can parent with still being connected to my child and seeing the good inside each of them...." Read more
"...the people they love the most in order to have deep, meaningful connections with them...." Read more
"...teaches you boundary setting with your kids while still maintaining a loving connection (without fear!)...." Read more
"...The end result leaves you feeling more confident, more connected, and more challenged to be a cycle breaker in how we relate to and raise these..." Read more
Customers enjoy the audiobook. They say it's a great companion to listening to the podcast and can be read or listened to over and over again, with new information being presented each time.
"...This is one of those books that you can read or listen to over and over again, and you'll hear something new every single time...." Read more
"...The audiobook is fantastic, and I’ve also bought the hard copy so I can highlight and flip through it more easily...." Read more
"This author has a popular podcast as well. I’m looking forward to reading this book in its entirety." Read more
"...This book was the perfect companion to listening to her podcast...." Read more
Customers find the book well-structured, organized, and helpful. They appreciate the practical framing and strategies for various issues. The perspective is strong and wholeheartedly believes in good.
"...A strong, sturdy perspective that truly, wholeheartedly believes in the good inside us all. That is truly not cheap talk. It. is. the. real. deal...." Read more
"...Aside from all that, I felt like the book was well-written and well-structured...." Read more
"...thorough, practical, relatable, actionable, excellently written and organized, and empowering...." Read more
"...very easy to read and digest, and most importantly, offers very practical framing and strategies for a variety of different very specific and very..." Read more
Reviews with images
Best. Parenting. Book. EVER.
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2024I really don’t do “self help” books, but I wanted some professional parenting guidance that aligned with my family’s values and boy did I find it — and MORE. This book did more than give me scripts for difficult moments and a better understanding of my son’s inner world. It’s been equally helpful with ALL of my relationships, with my son, my spouse, my friends, colleagues, and even my patients. I feel stronger having read this as a mom, a wife, and a friend. Highly recommend.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 21, 2025Excellent for clinicians and parents (and teachers…) helping young children to express feelings in emotionally satisfying and behaviorally appropriate ways, helping their important adults to discipline and nurture with intenrion and effectiveness.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 28, 2024This book provides many specific strategies for parenting our kids that not only work in the moment, but also help build valuable connections with our children. The overarching theme of building connection and understanding the goodness in our kids (and in ourselves) is wonderful. I have been able to shift my parenting while reading this book and have witnessed an improvement to interactions across the entire family.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 21, 2024I have learned so much from this book. I think it has great ideas and suggestions and left me wanting to. know more. I'm eager to try the solutions as a parent and a toddler Montessori guide. Great tools.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 17, 2024Some parts of this book didn’t seem totally applicable to what I’m going through with my children right now but overall, it had so many incredible takeaways, insights and strategies that will help me see my goodness as a parent and the goodness of my children as the navigate this crazy world.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2024This book is AMAZING! My son is only one but this made me feel like I have some guidance for parenting him as he gets older. It’s good to learn the ideas and begin practicing them now. I’m also trying the app and it’s like the book plus more right on demand when I need it. Easy to read and jump around to sections to fit what you’re looking for.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2025Dr Becky explains her approach clearly so we all feel good inside. What a paradigm shift! Every word is helpful.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2022I just started this book and I’m already blown away.
Best. Parenting. Book. EVER.
And this is coming from someone who has already invested a good deal in “Positive Parenting Solutions”, among other programs. I’ve learned a lot from PPS, but the style and language is so far from anything natural that I would ever actually say to my kids. I could never find a way to make it my own. I just couldn’t stick with it.
I’ve since found other parenting coaches who are much more grounded and keep it real. But I’ve been finding that Dr. Becky really has the clearest insight and the simplest ways of describing what our kids are going through and how to help them, that I just had to try her book.
Parenting does not come naturally to me. I grew up with a lot of trauma. Growing up in an alcoholic household leaves behind a lot of PTSD and triggers. My father had no coping skills. So he drank. And yelled. And he passed down his lack of coping skills to me. And while I may not drink, my first reaction to anything is to want to yell. And I don’t want my kids growing up the way I did. So I read a lot of parenting books and I try to find ways to regulate my emotions so that I don’t yell at my kids.
But it’s hard. It’s all I’ve ever known.
From all of my readings over the years on parenting, I still struggle with controlling my own emotions when my kids are having ‘big feelings’. It’s really been bothering me lately, because I know that if I cannot regulate mySELF, then I sure as hell am not teaching my kids how to do so. And worse, I’m showing them how to lose control when things get tough.
Well….
I just finished chapter 3 of “Good Inside” and I already feel like I have such a better picture as to what my kids are going through behind those tantrums. And more importantly, not only am I seeing more clearly what they’re going through, I’m fully understanding the depth of layers involved in my own reactions and how they’re truly shaping my kids. This book has stopped me in my tracks. Within the same day of parenting my kids and yelling at them in the morning, I reframed my interaction with them when they got home from school, after reading just a couple of chapters of “Good Inside”.
My biggest takeaways so far:
- “We all have our own jobs in the family and a child’s job is this- exploring and learning through experiencing and expressing emotions.”
- “The goal is to teach our kids how to manage all of their feelings and perceptions and thoughts and urges; we are the primary vehicle for this teaching, not through lectures or logic, but through the experiences our children have with us.”
- “Boundaries are not what we tell kids NOT to do. Boundaries are what we tell kids WE WILL do. Boundaries embody your authority as a parent and don’t require your child to do anything.”
And the MOST impactful takeaway for me is in Dr. Becky’s discussion on what a boundary is NOT:
“Here are examples of ‘not’ boundaries, but instead ways we essentially ask our kids to do our jobs for us.”
"Please stop hitting your brother!"
"Stop running!”
“Why do you have to make this so hard?"
“In each of these examples, parents are asking their kids to inhibit an urge or desire that, frankly, they are developmentally incapable of inhibiting.”
Mind blown. Nuff said.
🤯❤️🤯❤️🤯❤️🤯❤️
BUY. THIS. BOOK.
5.0 out of 5 stars Best. Parenting. Book. EVER.I just started this book and I’m already blown away.
Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2022
Best. Parenting. Book. EVER.
And this is coming from someone who has already invested a good deal in “Positive Parenting Solutions”, among other programs. I’ve learned a lot from PPS, but the style and language is so far from anything natural that I would ever actually say to my kids. I could never find a way to make it my own. I just couldn’t stick with it.
I’ve since found other parenting coaches who are much more grounded and keep it real. But I’ve been finding that Dr. Becky really has the clearest insight and the simplest ways of describing what our kids are going through and how to help them, that I just had to try her book.
Parenting does not come naturally to me. I grew up with a lot of trauma. Growing up in an alcoholic household leaves behind a lot of PTSD and triggers. My father had no coping skills. So he drank. And yelled. And he passed down his lack of coping skills to me. And while I may not drink, my first reaction to anything is to want to yell. And I don’t want my kids growing up the way I did. So I read a lot of parenting books and I try to find ways to regulate my emotions so that I don’t yell at my kids.
But it’s hard. It’s all I’ve ever known.
From all of my readings over the years on parenting, I still struggle with controlling my own emotions when my kids are having ‘big feelings’. It’s really been bothering me lately, because I know that if I cannot regulate mySELF, then I sure as hell am not teaching my kids how to do so. And worse, I’m showing them how to lose control when things get tough.
Well….
I just finished chapter 3 of “Good Inside” and I already feel like I have such a better picture as to what my kids are going through behind those tantrums. And more importantly, not only am I seeing more clearly what they’re going through, I’m fully understanding the depth of layers involved in my own reactions and how they’re truly shaping my kids. This book has stopped me in my tracks. Within the same day of parenting my kids and yelling at them in the morning, I reframed my interaction with them when they got home from school, after reading just a couple of chapters of “Good Inside”.
My biggest takeaways so far:
- “We all have our own jobs in the family and a child’s job is this- exploring and learning through experiencing and expressing emotions.”
- “The goal is to teach our kids how to manage all of their feelings and perceptions and thoughts and urges; we are the primary vehicle for this teaching, not through lectures or logic, but through the experiences our children have with us.”
- “Boundaries are not what we tell kids NOT to do. Boundaries are what we tell kids WE WILL do. Boundaries embody your authority as a parent and don’t require your child to do anything.”
And the MOST impactful takeaway for me is in Dr. Becky’s discussion on what a boundary is NOT:
“Here are examples of ‘not’ boundaries, but instead ways we essentially ask our kids to do our jobs for us.”
"Please stop hitting your brother!"
"Stop running!”
“Why do you have to make this so hard?"
“In each of these examples, parents are asking their kids to inhibit an urge or desire that, frankly, they are developmentally incapable of inhibiting.”
Mind blown. Nuff said.
🤯❤️🤯❤️🤯❤️🤯❤️
BUY. THIS. BOOK.
Images in this review
Top reviews from other countries
Deb McWHirterReviewed in Canada on December 1, 20245.0 out of 5 stars Practical and well written
Love, love, love this book! Tons of useful information without feeling terrible as a parent. There are multiple common scenarios we run into as parents that are discussed and split out into an easy to find sections with practical information on how to approach these situations. I reference this book weekly and can't recommend this book enough!
XimenaReviewed in Mexico on January 3, 20235.0 out of 5 stars A must
I often read parenting books and find stuff applicable to the work environment. This book explains the connection on childhood and adulthood an how they correlate.
It goes over how two things are true when talking about feelings, which is so important to understand.
Its such a good book it became my favorite parenting book and I want it on audible to listen to it yearly and refresh the concepts.
-
Sabrina LimaReviewed in Brazil on September 28, 20225.0 out of 5 stars Livro maravilhoso! Dra Becky escreve de maneira fácil e fluida.
Ótimo livro para quem quer ter ferramentas para educação respeitosa.
HridetaReviewed in Germany on April 9, 20245.0 out of 5 stars Great tools for parents
Gives me a lot of tools and understanding to be the parent I want to be.
From food to emotional talk.
I like that there are a lot of examples that make it interesting to read
-
LeGallReviewed in France on February 18, 20245.0 out of 5 stars Ça change la vie
Au début on se remet beaucoup en question, et puis on trouve un nouvel équilibre et ça marche mieux. Je recommande
































