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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Paperback – December 29, 2009

by Chelsea Handler (Author)

1,215 customer reviews

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When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power—vodka. Seems reasonable, when considering that she discovered her boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo and she had to pretend to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea’s world—a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense..

In this highly entertaining, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she’s convincing her third-grade class that she has been chosen to play Goldie Hawn’s daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations.

Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today...

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds."

-- Jennifer Weiner, bestselling author of In Her Shoes

"Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin...She seems like a cruel queen bee from an expensive college: There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how her jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers's bad-girl school: Tina Fey."

-- New York Times

"Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler's life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is. She is too clever for words."

-- Liz Smith, New York Post

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer."

-- Jay Leno

About the Author

Chelsea Handler is an accomplished stand-up comic and actress, as well as the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. She is the star of her own late-night show on E!, Chelsea Lately; was one of the stars of Girls Behaving Badly; has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Late Night with David Letterman; and has starred in her own half-hour Comedy Central special. Chelsea makes regular appearances in comedy clubs across America and lives in Los Angeles.

Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Gallery Books; Reprint edition (December 29, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1416596364
ISBN-13: 978-1416596363
Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 1,215 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #155,468 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #694 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Essays
- #1605 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Arts & Literature > Actors & Entertainers
- #1635 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Movies > Biographies

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Some good some bad

July 19, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I mean some parts were really funny. BUT some parts were also dated and racist as f! As a gal who is biracial and neither of those is white.... some parts were borderline offensive. I did read th whole thing and I think when I was done I told my bf I couldn't believe people used to be so unchecked with racist ass jokes. But I think sometime comedians pride themselves on that. Anyhow give it a shot if you want raunchy humor and some relatable passages. I would give it a D+ ( as a teacher I can do that!)

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"Vodka" and Handler Delivers

May 21, 2008

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I picked up this book with the only expectations of hoping it was as funny as Chelsea Handler is while doing her show or doing stand up. Bottom line, it delivers the comedic punch you'd expect from her. It's candid and filled with humorous stories about her family, a few men in her life and her friends. In all, it's a memoir without the usual sad, dramatic parts. This is more like a sampling of her life, each chapter offering a small anecdote about a different event from her life.

For me, "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" starts off a little slow, as most autobiographies/memoirs do. Her adult life (and thus the later chapters of the book) are far more funny and outrageous than the earlier ones. It feels as if it takes a little while for things to warm up to her usual brand of comedy. 'Prison Break', a chapter about her first DUI, was definitely the true start of the book for me. From that point, things pick up and the book becomes a must read, something that can't be put down. You'll enjoy her naughtiness and willingness to really open up about things most people would be shy about discussing with the world. It's funny, there were definitely parts of the book that had me nearly in tears (prepare yourself for 'Barking Up the Wrong Tree' which is by far the best chapter of the book). What you may not like are certain chapters that, perhaps if told aloud with her usual deadpan delivery and quirkiness, would have been funnier. Some stories or jokes didn't translate as well on paper as they would if she were telling the story on stage in front of an audience.

In all, a good book. I get the feeling there could be a few follow-ups to 'Vodka' with how these are just random stories strung together. I ended the book laughing and smiling, feeling satisfied with this quick but enjoyable read and definitely felt it was worth the money. Wish it had been a tad bit longer and some stories came off better on paper as they probably would have delivered aloud, but, still a good, funny, humorous book that you should check out.

2 people found this helpful3 people found this helpful

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Gail Farrell

It is so small!

April 12, 2018

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Maybe I'm crazy but I had NO IDEA this was a MINI book! I laughed out loud when it came in the mail. Perhaps the 1-star rating is unfair since I must have misread the description. Just be aware that this is the small abridged version!

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Unapologetic in your face awesomeness

March 24, 2009

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

As always, one can count on Chelsea to tell it like it is. We all have our quirks, some of us try to hide them others don't care, Chelsea writes all about them in her latest book that covers some of her childhood and stops about two years back. After reading it I realized that no matter what happened to her along the way, she always told her stories in such a nonchalant way that even the most horrific events that would turn most people to mush didn't really seem to stop her. I won't give spoilers but Chelsea goes through some rough patches with men and with the law, written with giggles and shocking situations that she always managed to turn in her favor at the end.

The book is easy to read and goes fast; I pretty much read it in two days, not because I'm a slow reader but life was getting in the way, and sometimes I simply needed a break form laughing. Cute and funny, not as crude as some people say, Chelsea's sarcasm shines though at time but with charm to it, she has wit and brains too, always trying to keep her head up, trying to be nice to everyone and supporting her friends best as she can. One of the funniest parts of the book was towards the end, where she's dragged to a birthday party, hilarity erupted when the main guest of honor was staring to fall of the deep end taking her sanity with her, I laughed and laughed, and it was prefect for a relaxing weekend. Alcohol is mentioned here, even Chelsea's trip to the nutritionist was hilarious, the results and some trauma that followed were very, very interesting for sure. She does a great job of integrating her family into the story, making me feel like I all ready spend a Sunday morning in the kitchen with them eating pancakes, except that if I was there syrup would probably come out of my nose, these people are hilarious! I hope Chelsea leads a colorful and happy life, I'd be happy to read about it some more.

- Kasia S

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Michelaneous by Michele

Chelsea Has a New Fan

August 1, 2008

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I feel like I've come late to the party that is Chelsea Handler, but better late than never. This collection of stories is in a word, hilarious. Chelsea is a natural storyteller and these pages go by so quickly I found myself looking for more when I reached page 264. She's original, irreverent, bawdy, gutsy and VERY funny.

It's hard to pick a favorite, but the story of boyfriend Mohammad and the Peekapoo (apparently a gay dog), and another that included a night with the drunken "midget" named Kimmy, had me laughing out loud and sharing snippets. There are no stinkers in the collection, each is funnier than the previous as you get to know her humor and her quirks, which yes--DO include a lot of vodka.

If you like the work of Laurie Notaro The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life or Sandra Tsing Loh A Year in Van Nuys you'll love the work of Chelsea Handler.

Michele Cozzens is the author of It's Not Your Mother's Bridge Club

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