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Sally Winston

Martin N. Seif

Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts Paperback – Illustrated, March 1, 2017

by Sally M. Winston PsyD (Author), Martin N. Seif PhD (Author)

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You are not your thoughts! In this powerful book, two anxiety experts offer proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) skills to help you get unstuck from disturbing thoughts, overcome the shame these thoughts can bring, and reduce your anxiety.

If you suffer from unwanted, intrusive, frightening, or even disturbing thoughts, you might worry about what these thoughts mean about you. Thoughts can seem like messages—are they trying to tell you something? But the truth is that they are just thoughts, and don’t necessarily mean anything. Sane and good people have them. If you are someone who is plagued by thoughts you don’t want—thoughts that scare you, or thoughts you can’t tell anyone about—this book may change your life.

In this compassionate guide, you’ll discover the different kinds of disturbing thoughts, myths that surround your thoughts, and how your brain has a tendency to get “stuck” in a cycle of unwanted rumination. You’ll also learn why common techniques to get rid of these thoughts can backfire. And finally, you’ll learn powerful cognitive behavioral skills to help you cope with and move beyond your thoughts, so you can focus on living the life you want. Your thoughts will still occur, but you will be better able to cope with them—without dread, guilt, or shame.

If you have unwanted thoughts, you should remember that you aren’t alone. In fact, there are millions of people just like you—good people who have awful thoughts, gentle people with violent thoughts, and sane people with “crazy” thoughts. This book will show you how to move past your thoughts so you can reclaim your life!

This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation—an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Print length

192 pages
Language

English
Publisher

New Harbinger Publications
Publication date

March 1, 2017
Dimensions

5.75 x 0.5 x 8.75 inches
ISBN-10

1626254346
ISBN-13

978-1626254343
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Popular Highlights in this book

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So the content of unwanted intrusive thoughts is the opposite of what you want to be thinking about. It is the opposite of your values, the opposite of your wishes, and the opposite of your character. It is the opposite of you.
Highlighted by 2,483 Kindle readers
Helpful Fact: Most of your distress is caused not by what you think or feel, but how you feel about and react to what you think or feel.
Highlighted by 1,643 Kindle readers
People who are impulsive act first and think later. People with unwanted intrusive thoughts are over-thinkers.
Highlighted by 1,421 Kindle readers

Editorial Reviews

Review

“This important book is essential and mandatory reading for anyone affected by unwanted and intrusive thoughts, and their health providers. The authors crystallize decades of experience into a perfectly clear and readable guide. The solution to this misunderstood problem is in this book.”
—Joseph A. Adams, MD, medical director at Baltimore Health Systems and Step By Step of Maryland, LLC, and past president at Smoke Free Maryland

“I wish I would have had access to this book twenty years ago! Sally Winston and Martin Seif have put all the pieces of the puzzle together to help people understand and overcome unwanted intrusive thoughts. This is a must-read book, packed with information to help people suffering with anxiety-provoking intrusive thoughts, as well as clinicians who are trying to help them.”
—Kimberly J. Morrow, LCSW, maintains a private practice in Erie, PA; specializes in the treatment of anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD); provides training and case consultation for clinicians through www.anxietytraining.com; and is author of Face It and Feel It

“It turns out that commonsense approaches to stopping our worries, such as pushing thoughts away, arguing with them, or seeking reassurance, actually feed these worries and help them grow. Sally Winston and Martin Seif—two of the brightest minds in our field—deliver a simple yet powerful two-step process for change.”
—Reid Wilson, PhD, author of Stopping the Noise in Your Head

“Finally, here is an effective, neurologically based clinical approach to dealing with unwanted thoughts (without having to use a rubber band). The authors’ clear and distinctive voice should be widely heard by cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) clinicians, and by those engaged in an ongoing and unrelenting struggle with undesirable ruminations.”
—Ronald M. Doctor, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at California State University, Northridge; author; active researcher; and practicing behavior therapist

“In their book Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts, Winston and Seif tackle one of the great mysteries of human distress and suffering: the seeming inability to rid our minds of unbidden, unwanted, and disturbing thoughts, images, and memories. Readers are given a rare glimpse into the nature of unwanted intrusive thoughts, as well as their origin and impact on emotional distress. Written in a warm, engaging, yet knowledgeable manner, this book provides new insights for consumers and professionals alike on why common sense fails to soothe the troubled mind. Readers will find practical, research-based guidance on how to subdue unwanted intrusions and overcome their emotional disruption. This book offers much-needed help for those who struggle with the torment of persistent disturbing thoughts.”
—David A. Clark, PhD, professor emeritus in the department of psychology at the University of New Brunswick, and coauthor of The Anxiety and Worry Workbook and Cognitive Therapy of Anxiety Disorders with Aaron T. Beck

“Tens of millions of people have bothersome intrusive thoughts, and most often these thoughts are so unacceptable or embarrassing that many people have trouble telling anyone about them—even their closest family members or friends. At worst, these intrusive thoughts are part of severe problems such as OCD, but we know that almost anybody under stress can occasionally experience intrusive thoughts. Now, at last, a state-of-the-art psychological program written by two of the leading clinicians in the country with years of experience treating this problem is available. The program in this remarkable little book may be sufficient to help you overcome your intrusive thoughts, if therapeutic assistance may be needed, to guide you to the best available resources. I recommend this program very highly as a first step for anybody dealing with this issue.”
—David H. Barlow, PhD, ABPP, emeritus professor of psychology and psychiatry, founder, and director emeritus at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University

“Winston and Seif have done a wonderful job in providing sufferers of obsessive intrusive thoughts with up-to-date and scientifically accurate information about this often crippling problem. This clearly written guide will serve both as a self-help resource, as well as a workbook to be used as an adjunct to psychotherapy.”
—Lee Baer, PhD, professor of psychology in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and author of Getting Control and The Imp of the Mind

“An interesting and original account of a little-understood phenomenon—intrusive thoughts."
—Fredric Neuman, MD, director of The Anxiety and Phobia Treatment Center, and author of Caring, Fighting Fear, and Worried Sick?

“What a great book for people who struggle with intrusive thoughts! Two highly skilled and respected experts in the treatment of chronic anxiety explain how intrusive thoughts work, what they mean and don’t mean, why they defy your best efforts at getting rid of them, and most importantly, how to change your relationship with these thoughts so they don’t remain a persistent, negative focus. They help the reader understand that intrusive thoughts don’t persist despite your best efforts; they persist because of your best efforts at arguing with, struggling against, and seeking to avoid these unwanted thoughts. Their book offers plainspoken instructions with lots of good examples that will help you let go of the guilt, fear, and confusion that so often accompanies intrusive thoughts. This is a must-read for anyone experiencing such thoughts, as well as the professionals who seek to help them.”
—David Carbonell, PhD, is a Chicago-based psychologist specializing in treating chronic anxiety for over thirty years, author of Panic Attacks Workbook and The Worry Trick, and “coach” at www.anxietycoach.com

“Winston and Seif have written an important and much-needed book. It speaks to those who suffer intensely from unwanted intrusive thoughts and, as a result, descend into a world of anxious isolation. The authors lift the sufferer from a frightening darkness into a world of understanding and onto a path to freedom. This is necessary reading for anyone suffering from the tyranny of unwanted thoughts, and it should be required reading for helping professionals.”
—Bruce Shapiro, MD, clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons

About the Author

Sally M. Winston, PsyD, founded and codirects the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland in Towson, MD. She served as the first chair of the Clinical Advisory Board of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), and received their prestigious Jerilyn Ross Clinician Advocate Award. She is a master clinician who has given sought-after workshops for therapists for decades. She is coauthor of What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Anxiety Disorders.

Martin N. Seif, PhD, cofounded the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, and was a member of its board of directors from 1977 through 1991. Seif is associate director of The Anxiety and Phobia Treatment Center at White Plains Hospital, a faculty member of NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, and is board certified in cognitive behavioral psychology from the American Board of Professional Psychology. He maintains a private practice in New York, NY, and Greenwich, CT, and is coauthor of What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Anxiety Disorders.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ New Harbinger Publications; Illustrated edition (March 1, 2017)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 192 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1626254346
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1626254343
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.2 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 0.5 x 8.75 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #3,055 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #8 in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
- #12 in Popular Neuropsychology
- #13 in Anxieties & Phobias

Customer Reviews:
3,063 ratings

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Sally Winston
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Dr. Sally Winston, a licensed psychologist, was born in Montreal and was educated at Cornell University and the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana. She spent 18 years at SheppardPratt Hospital in Baltimore and then, in 1992 cofounded the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland which specializes in treating phobias, panic, OCD, worry and related disorders . She is the first recipient of the prestigious Jerilyn Ross Award of the ADAA. She gives workshops nationally and internationally and appears frequently in the media. Her teaching style is well known for being free of jargon, compassionate, informed by current scientific evidence and accessible. She maintains a lively psychotherapy practice .
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Martin N. Seif
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I'm Dr. Marty Seif, a psychologist who specializes in anxiety disorders, and a pioneer in its modern treatment. I grew up in a suburb of New York City and have a private psychotherapy practice in Greenwich, CT. I am no stranger to the experience of anxiety, and I became an expert in the field because I want to help others live a life that is unhampered and unlimited by anxiety and the avoidance it engenders. I have enormous experience working with people who are afraid of flying, and created and led the popular Freedom to Fly program from 2000 to 2017. I am on the faculty of New York-Presbyterian Hospital, Former Associate Director of the Anxiety and Phobia Treatment Center at White Plains Hospital, a founder of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, Board Certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by the American Board of Professional Psychology, and a Fellow of the American Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Psychology. In the past years, I have also developed an interest in innovative ways to view and treat OCD, including subtle forms of OCD, and many worry states. I write a newsletter on Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts, and you can also read an article I co-authored with Dr. Sally Winston, published in the July/August issue of Psychotherapy Networker, (https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/1027/upside-down-psychotherapy) Dr. Winston and I write a blog for Psychology Today titled, "Living with a Sticky Mind'. You can read more about me at www.DrMartinSeif.com.
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ohmama

This Book Is a Godsend!!!

Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2017

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I rarely write reviews but this read deserved it. This book has left me speechless. I am a textbook Pure "O" sufferer. It has been my life on and off since I was 20 and I am now 47. This book is me to a tee. I came upon this book as I was googling once again for reassurance as I am having a rough spell and trying to find something to help me feel not so alone in my struggle. I have read other popular books on this subject but they never totally applied to me. This mental disorder is a tough one to describe to others and for them to really understand without thinking I am going crazy. It is embarrassing at times. My family tries to empathize but when I try to explain it to them, they are very confused as to why I can't shake it off , distract myself or try to be stronger. There hasn't been a therapist able to help me as I don't think they really understand this disorder fully. They all tried teaching me the techniques that "don't work" so I always thought I wasn't doing something right. The good news is I am still here, never have acted on one my intrusive thoughts (I can guarantee I have thought most of the unthinkable, probably today alone) and have a new found hope now.
There isn't enough thank you's for publishing this book to get the word out. Humbly, Me

402 people found this helpful

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Kitty Kat

Helpful and Well-Written

Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2018

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I have been battling pretty awful OCD for roughly 2 years now. I have dealt with it in the past, but it got the worst I've ever known a year after having my daughter. This book is wonderful. It uses a CBT-based approach to overcome all types of thoughts. I got a lot of use out of it when I was dealing with intrusive thoughts, and I've also found it to be helpful with other issues I was dealing with. Basically, summer 2017, I began dealing with 24/7 dissociation. I had become obsessed with feeling dissociated, derealized and depersonalized. I didn't think this book was going to help with that because it was more a sensation than a "thought", but it does and will (since I realized that thoughts go along with the dissociation, "this feels awful. is everything around me real? why do I feel like I'm in a dream? etc).

Unfortunately, I'm now dealing with health anxiety and am constantly obsessed over the fact that I am having or could have a heart attack or stroke at any moment or that I have some underlying illness (diabetes, heart disease...you name it). I've gone to urgent care multiple times and they assure me it's just anxiety, but I still get pretty scary and consistent symptoms (heart palpitations, dizziness that has made me practically house-bound unless someone else is here to take me out, chest pains, numbness in my limbs, feeling like my face is drooping when it obviously isn't, and shortness of breath). I know that it's all just anxiety, but the underlying thoughts when a symptom pops up "oh gosh, I'm dying, something is majorly wrong with me, I need to go to ER or urgent care RIGHT NOW, why do I keep getting dizzy if there's truly nothing wrong??" fuel the symptoms. Then, when I'm not having a symptom, the thoughts still persist, "I'm not feeling dizzy now...but....any moment now, it'll hit me again. It's nighttime...and this is when I typically get those awful and scary palpitations...let's see when they'll start this time...."I'm hoping that this book helps in the same way that it did with the dissociation and the intrusive thoughts. It's a shame that when you have OCD or anxiety, sometimes you think you're over one thing and something else pops up!!

I also wanted to say in this review that Dr. Martin Seif has been nothing short of professional and helpful. When I was in the throws of my constant dissociation, I would email him directly to ask for help and how to implement the techniques in this book to my unique situation and he ALWAYS replied personally to me within hours or a few days. As a busy professional, he didn't have to do this, but he did - he doesn't even know me and always reached out to me. I have to thank him tremendously for all of the help he's been! I'm tempted to email him about my health anxiety issues, but I know deep down what his answer is going to be and what the answer truly is and that is "THIS BOOK WILL HELP, JUST KEEP READING IT AND PRACTICING THE TECHNIQUES!".

Good luck to anyone out there struggling mentally. Mental issues can rob you of your happiness, willpower and joy of life. I would have never thought that the worst my anxiety and OCD would be would be right after having my first child...which should have been the happiest time of my life, not the most difficult mentally. I've come to realize that my issues are almost all focus or obsessive-related. The more I obsess and fight with the thoughts, sensations or whatever might be bothering me at the moment, the more it causes anxiety and panic. Unfortunately, simply knowing this doesn't help; it does require practice and persistence, but it's obtainable.

Thank you again and I fully recommend this book!!

234 people found this helpful

Helpful

JW

The best $10 I ever spent: A must-read for anyone dealing with intrusive thoughts

Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2018

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I have been dealing with OCD and intrusive thoughts in some form for nearly my entire life. Over the past year, it had gotten to the point where I'd often become so anxious with my obsessions, that I wouldn't want to leave the house or go do anything, and would just puzzle through things for a couple hours.

After a couple of counselors (one excellent, one useless), I came across this book. I'm generally skeptical of self-help books, but given the authors' credentials, I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm very glad I did, because from the first chapter, it was clear they knew exactly what they were talking about. Their descriptions and examples were so accurate, it was as if I wrote them myself.

Some features of this book:

- Plenty of examples: You're very likely to find your particular worry in here, or something very close.
- Scientific background: The book is very accessible, but any claims the authors make are based in valid scientific research. The authors provide proper names to some of the causes and symptoms of intrusive thoughts (and sometimes citations) so it's easy to do your own research and find bonafide scholarly papers back up their claims. This was especially helpful for a skeptic like me.
- Very practical advice: The authors provide specific steps for dealing with intrusive thoughts as they happen, and for the long term. There is no wishy washy meditation, and no crap. These techniques led to immediate and dramatic results for me.

Dr. Winston and Dr. Seif: If you ever happen to read this, I'd like to sincerely thank you for helping me get my life back. I used to have a terrible spell of anxiety for a day or two every week, and now I occasionally have a small setback once a month or so. I can actually wake up in the morning and expect to feel like myself throughout the day. Even if that's where my improvement ends, it was well worth the $10 price of admission.

128 people found this helpful

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Rach

Best book. Quite literally saved me

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 24, 2017

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Without sounding like a cliché, I hardly ever write reviews. But this book may have quite literally saved me. Being blindsided by repetitive unwanted intrusive thoughts, leading up to my first ever panic attack, weeks of feeling emotionally messed up and isolated despite having a wonderfully caring and supportive partner, and being so utterly upset that I was beginning to struggle to see a future. I read the first chapter of this book, and the relief is almost impossible to describe. It's that feeling of reading something as if it's been written for you, and all about you. I would have quite literally have done anything for the knowledge that these thoughts happen to good people, and sometimes for no good reason. I'm still working my way through it, but taking my time. Good days and bad. But this book is helping me try to understand how a 'sticky mind' works. I can't thank the authors enough for this book. An absolute must buy. Thank you.

166 people found this helpful

Satisfied Customer

OCD SUFFERERS THIS BOOK WILL IMPROVE YOUR LIVES

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 20, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book is brilliant and after reading it I experienced Archimede's eureka moment.
It is an up to date book on how to handle intrusive thoughts, especially useful for OCD sufferers. The authors present a form of CBT that works, not the traditional stilted form. A person that I know, who suffered from OCD for 56 years, applied the techniques mentioned in this book and has managed to bring his OCD under control and now it hardly affects his quality of life.
This book trashes the theory that OCD is a phobic condition and promotes the theory that OCD is mainly driven by a desire to achieve 100% certainty.

Please note the following it could change your life:
• Accept and allow the thoughts in your mind, which means leave them alone. Let them do whatever
they do. Just observe.
• Do not engage the thoughts in any way.
• Do not answer any questions they pose.
• Do not try to push them out of you mind.
• Do not figure out what your thoughts “mean”.
• Do not try to determine whether the thought is “true or “false” because it is just a thought, not a fact.
• Do not analyse why the thought pops up now.
• Do not try to convince yourself you would never do what the thoughts are saying.
• Do not change your behaviour so you avoid the possibility of acting on your thoughts.
• Do not look for reassurance in any form.

82 people found this helpful

Stanislav Stoyanov

Finally Free

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 26, 2019

Verified Purchase

I can now say that after 25 years of suffering from unwanted thoughts, I am finally free. I had really bad thoughts; you know these thoughts you dare to tell no one. I was convinced I am turning into a bad person. While I had some good reading of anxiety books, nothing comes even close to explain the topic like this one. Where this book has been 25 years ago? It would have saved me so much suffering. I want to say a big Thank You to the people that have written the book this is all I needed. And yes I no longer have unwanted bad thoughts.

67 people found this helpful

Jenny

Incredible book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 24, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book is life-changing. I have suffered from intrusive thoughts for 10+ years, as well as made them the subject of my MSc so I have read a lot about them and where they stem from, why they are so distressing. This book is deeply compassionate, insightful and full of truth. It very clearly outlines the way the mind works to maintain deeply troublesome thoughts, and the paradoxical programme required to diminish their impact. Don't get me wrong, it is extremely challenging. If you are a sensitive and loving person, it is difficult to accept the presence of thoughts that are entirely against your nature, especially as we tend to take the contents of the mind as gospel. However, this book makes it so much more likely. If you have OCD/ pure O or suffer from the bully of the mind, please get this book and know you are not alone.

28 people found this helpful

Amazon Customer

Pretty much saved my life

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 8, 2019

Verified Purchase

Thankyou so much to the authors of the book. I now know that dealing with intrusive thoughts is never going to be easy, but this is the only place I have found any information which actually understands the problem, and shows the way - as challenging as it is - to recovery. Doctors, friends, family, internet - all well meaning, can make the problems worse with their lack of understanding of the problem. I feel so sorry for people suffering with this problem before this information was available, as intrustive thoughts have driven me nearly insane and almost derailed my life several times. Somehow, something has kept me going, and I do not know where I would be now without this book. Thankyou.

42 people found this helpful

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