Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.
Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.
Image Unavailable
Color:
-
-
-
- To view this video download Flash Player
Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges Paperback – March 19, 2019
Explore your book, then jump right back to where you left off with Page Flip.
View high quality images that let you zoom in to take a closer look.
Enjoy features only possible in digital – start reading right away, carry your library with you, adjust the font, create shareable notes and highlights, and more.
Discover additional details about the events, people, and places in your book, with Wikipedia integration.
Purchase options and add-ons
In Beyond Behaviors, internationally known pediatric psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke describes behaviors as the tip of the iceberg, important signals that we should address by seeking to understand a child’s individual differences in the context of relational safety.
Featuring impactful worksheets and charts, this accessible book offers professionals, educators and parents tools and techniques to reduce behavioral challenges and promote psychological resilience and satisfying, secure relationships.
Neuroscience-based effective tools and strategies for children labeled with:
- Conduct Disorder
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
- Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
- Anxiety & Depression
- Autism & Developmental or Learning Differences
And children who experience or have experienced:
- Aggressive, confusing and unpredictable behaviors
- Tantrums and meltdowns
- Disconnection or shutdown
- Adverse childhood experiences
- Trauma and toxic stress
- Print length315 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateMarch 19, 2019
- Dimensions7 x 0.71 x 10 inches
- ISBN-101683731190
- ISBN-13978-1683731191
Frequently bought together

4 stars and above
When we see a behavior that is problematic or confusing, the first question we should ask isn’t “How do we get rid of it?” but rather “What is this telling us about the child?”Highlighted by 620 Kindle readers
Many of our approaches falsely assume that children can self-regulate their emotions and behaviors when in reality, they do not yet have that ability.Highlighted by 489 Kindle readers
“What is this child experiencing at this moment in body and mind?”Highlighted by 377 Kindle readers
From the Publisher
2020 Benjamin Franklin Book Award Winner in Psychology
Why are we failing to help children with seriously challenging behaviors?
Too many books about children’s challenging behaviors take a one-size-fits-all approach, without consideration for the autonomic state—the brain/body connection. They also fail to consider children’s individual differences—their unique strengths and challenges. And most approaches to challenging behaviors fail to examine those challenges in the context of a child’s social and emotional development. As a result, many treatment approaches fall short because they simply lack a cohesive rationale or guiding principle.
This book aims to provide a new context to understand behavioral challenges and offer a roadmap for making decisions based on each child’s brain and body. While research and knowledge about the brain has progressed exponentially over the past three decades, we have barely begun to translate this understanding into practical use. In my experience, the neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges’s work—his Polyvagal Theory, and specifically the concept of neuroception—offers the best new way to view and support behaviorally challenged children and their families.
About Dr. Mona Delahooke
Mona Delahooke, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with more than 30 years of experience caring for children and their families. She is a senior faculty member of the Profectum Foundation, an organization dedicated to supporting families of neurodiverse children, adolescents and adults. She is a trainer for the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health.
Dr. Delahooke holds the highest level of endorsement in the field of infant and toddler mental health in California, as a Reflective Practice Mentor (RPM). She is a frequent speaker, trainer, and consultant to parents, organizations, schools, and public agencies. Dr. Delahooke has dedicated her career to promoting compassionate, relationship-based, neurodevelopmental interventions for children with developmental, behavioral, emotional, and learning differences.
She is the author of Social and Emotional Development in Early Intervention: A Skills Guide for Working with Children (PESI, 2017).
Praise for Beyond Behaviors
"Beyond Behaviors provides the basis for a paradigm shift in understanding and treating children with disruptive behaviors. Historically, educational and therapeutic models treat anti-social and asocial behavior as motivated and incentivized. In this accessible and beautifully written volume, Dr. Delahooke pulls the veil off this myth and replaces it with a neurobiologically-informed treatment model that provides insightful directives leading to effective outcomes.” -- Stephen W. Porges, PhD, Distinguished University Scientist, Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry, University of North Carolina, and author of The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe
“As a developmental psychologist, compassion teacher, and autism mom, I can whole-heartedly say this book is brilliant. Traditional methods of ‘shaping’ children’s behaviors typically ignore children’s emotional state, at great cost to the child’s ability to learn, develop, and form secure relationships. This book provides concrete ways to help understand safety as the foundation for children’s learning, working with rather than against natural brain functions to maximize learning potential.” -- Kristin Neff, PhD, Associate Professor, Department of Educational Psychology, University of Texas at Austin, and author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
“I love this book. It will be one I give and recommend over and over. Beyond Behaviors is succinct, accessible, practical, science-based. And it’s a game changer. My hope is that not only parents, educators, clinicians, and all helping professionals read it, but that it becomes required reading for professionals in training. It’s time for us to use science-informed approaches to go beyond mere behaviors to support children and their caregivers, and this is the book to light the way.” -- Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, LCSW, Executive Director of The Center for Connection and co-author of New York Times bestsellers The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline
“This book will embrace every parent and professional puzzling over behavioral challenges and make you question the assumptions about their meaning and re-evaluate how to help. Dr. Delahooke reframes our understanding by integrating perspectives from development, brain science, mental health, and child and parent experiences using example after example to guide you towards insight and compassionate approaches that are respectful of neurodiversity. Beyond Behaviors will help every child and family progress, feel safe, enjoy relationships, and develop to their fullest.” -- Serena Wieder, PhD, Clinical Director, Profectum Foundation, co-creator of the DIR Model and co-author of The Child with Special Needs and Engaging Autism
Editorial Reviews
Review
As a developmental psychologist, compassion teacher, and autism mom, I can whole-heartedly say this book is brilliant. Traditional methods of shaping children s behaviors typically ignore children's emotional state, at great cost to the child s ability to learn, develop, and form secure relationships. This book provides concrete ways to help understand safety as the foundation for children s learning, working with rather than against natural brain functions to maximize learning potential. --Kristin Neff, PhD, Associate Professor, Department of Educational Psychology, University of Texas at Austin, and author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
I love this book. It will be one I give and recommend over and over. Beyond Behaviors is succinct, accessible, practical, science-based. And it s a game changer. My hope is that not only parents, educators, clinicians, and all helping professionals read it, but that it becomes required reading for professionals in training. It s time for us to use science-informed approaches to go beyond mere behaviors to support children and their caregivers, and this is the book to light the way. --Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, LCSW, Executive Director of The Center for Connection and co-author of the bestsellers The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline
This book will embrace every parent and professional puzzling over behavioral challenges and make you question the assumptions about their meaning and re-evaluate how to help. Dr. Delahooke reframes our understanding by integrating perspectives from development, brain science, mental health, and child and parent experiences using example after example to guide you towards insight and compassionate approaches that are respectful of neurodiversity. Beyond Behaviors will help every child and family progress, feel safe, enjoy relationships, and develop to their fullest. --Serena Wieder, PhD, Clinical Director, Profectum Foundation, co-creator of the DIR Model, and co-author of The Child with Special Needs and Engaging Autism
"Dr. Mona Delahooke is a child psychologist with over 30 years of experience working with children who have behavioral challenges, including those who are neurodiverse and/or have experienced early trauma. In this easily readable book, Dr. Delahooke encourages child professionals and families to see concerning behaviors as the tip of an iceberg that obscures early embedded feelings of danger or life threat. With compassion and insight, she guides us toward creating healing environments of safety and security." --Marilyn R. Sanders, MD, FAAP, Attending Neonatologist, Connecticut Children's Medical Center and Professor of Pediatrics, University of Connecticut School of Medicine
"I love Beyond Behaviors for a whole lot of reasons. First, I think, is the message of compassionate non-judgment. Mona Delahooke shows how important it is that parents be compassionate with themselves, and practice good self-care techniques as necessary prerequisites for intelligent responding to their challenging children. One of the best features of this book are the practical, empowering, step-by-step ideas for finding the calm self-acceptance necessary for building a healing, supportive relationship with even the most challenging and frightened child. --Dona Matthews, PhD, Developmental Psychologist and co-author of Beyond Intelligence: Secrets for Raising Happily Productive Kids
Mona Delahooke provides a reality check for those who seek to ameliorate children s behavior. She offers a fresh, comprehensive perspective, and a more humane way of understanding, teaching, treating, and supporting children who are struggling. Dr. Delahooke focuses on an integrated mind/body approach, helping parents and children deal thoughtfully and respectfully with behavioral differences and the iceberg of causality. Beyond Behaviors includes case histories, worksheets, practical strategies, resources, and an abundance of information empowering readers to understand what underlies behavioral challenges, and forge meaningful, healing, lasting solutions. A welcome addition to the literature on parenting! --Joanne Foster, EdD, is an expert in gifted education and child development, and co-author of Being Smart about Gifted Education and Beyond Intelligence
Brilliant! Dr. Mona Delahooke integrates knowledge from the fields of infant mental health, child development, clinical psychology and neuroscience to provide a revolutionary approach to challenging behaviors in children. Complex neurobiologic processes are beautifully translated into a practical model for meaningful intervention. The unique, yet critical, perspective on children's most challenging behaviors has the power to transform lives. This book is an essential read for all people who care for or interact with children. --Megan Stilwill, DO FAAP, Pediatrician
This is a wonderful book that takes complicated concepts and new ways of thinking about children and makes them digestible and useable for parents and professionals alike. --Mim Ochsenbein, MSW, OTR/L, Director of Education, The Star Institute for Sensory Processing Disorder
"This book should be required reading for frustrated parents and those of us in a position of diagnosing or creating behavior plans for children. Imagine the amazing outcomes if we followed Mona Delahooke's guide to empower and support children through their big feelings and behaviors, rather than focusing only on the tip of the iceberg." -- Nicole Schwarz, MA, LMFT, Parent Coach
In Beyond Behaviors, Mona Delahooke, PhD, applies the Polyvagal theory developed by Stephen Porges to children, convincingly making the case that many children who can't seem to behave themselves simply don't have that developmental capacity yet, and giving us a social-emotional roadmap for how children learn to self-regulate. Delahooke guides us to the realization that children act out when they feel stressed, so the most important tool in our toolbox is always our connection with the child, which restores safety. This break-through book reframes children who exhibit "problem" behavior and challenges us as therapists, teachers and parents to shift our own paradigm so that we can help them. Highly recommended. --Dr. Laura Markham, author of the Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
From the Back Cover
In Beyond Behaviors, internationally known pediatric psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke describes behaviors as the tip of the iceberg, important signals that we should address by seeking to understand a child's individual differences in the context of relational safety.
Featuring impactful worksheets and charts, this accessible book offers professionals, educators and parents tools and techniques to reduce behavioral challenges and promote psychological resilience and satisfying, secure relationships.
Neuroscience-based effective tools and strategies for children labeled with:
- Conduct Disorder
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
- Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
- Anxiety & Depression
- Autism & Developmental or Learning Differences
And children who experience or have experienced:
- Aggressive, confusing or unpredictable behaviors
- Tantrums and meltdowns
- Disconnection or shutdown
- Adverse childhood experiences
- Trauma and toxic stress
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : PESI Publishing; 1st edition (March 19, 2019)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 315 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1683731190
- ISBN-13 : 978-1683731191
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 7 x 0.71 x 10 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #39,168 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #10 in Popular Adolescent Psychology
- #28 in Medical Child Psychology
- #57 in Popular Child Psychology
- Customer Reviews:
Videos
Videos for this product

1:57
Click to play video

Mom of 2- How This Book Changed Parenting Journey for Me
Julie Slonski

Videos for this product

0:43
Click to play video

one of the best books for parenting challenging children
Mom of 5

About the author

Mona M. Delahooke, Ph.D. is a pediatric psychologist specializing in supporting children and families. She has dedicated her career to promoting compassionate, relationship-based interventions for children with developmental, behavioral, emotional and learning differences. Her first book, Social and Emotional Development in Early Intervention: A Skills Guide for Working with Children, describes a contemporary, neurodevelopmental approach useful for all childhood professionals.
Related products with free delivery on eligible orders
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book wonderful and brilliant in explaining complex neuroscience. They describe it as readable, well-written, and elegant. Readers mention the author is kind and compassionate.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book wonderful and brilliant in its application and explanation of complex neuroscience. They say it's filled with helpful suggestions and case studies. Readers also mention the book is an important resource for therapists, teachers, or parents for kids with challenging behaviors. They appreciate the scholarly research, specific examples, and helpful diagrams.
"...clients who have children that deal with mental distortions It's very comprehensive and you can actually see their relief on the parent's faces if..." Read more
"...a lot of real life examples that helped explain the concepts and tons of worksheets that could be immediately utilized with children and families...." Read more
"...behaviors and understanding the underlying causes, this book really explains everything clearly...." Read more
"A child advocate i found this book very useful! As a parent this helped a lot with my own parenting style too!..." Read more
Customers find the book very readable, well-written, and elegant. They appreciate the helpful graphics that illustrate the concepts.
"...relief on the parent's faces if you use this in session It's an easy read and I'm so happy about it" Read more
"...Dr. Delahooke presents complex concepts with such elegant clarity, readability, and compassion that you will be moved to come back to her words..." Read more
"...In a compelling, compassionate, and easy-to-read format, she has addressed many of the false assumptions underlying out-dated behavior management..." Read more
"...I cannot praise this book highly enough . This book is a well-written integration of material from many fields including child development,..." Read more
Customers find the book refreshingly compassionate. They say it's an excellent, accessible guide for parents, educators, and therapists. Readers also mention it brings brain science together with compassionate care of children and builds strong positive relationships.
"...complex concepts with such elegant clarity, readability, and compassion that you will be moved to come back to her words again and again as a guide..." Read more
"...In a compelling, compassionate, and easy-to-read format, she has addressed many of the false assumptions underlying out-dated behavior management..." Read more
"...She outlines a very accurate, helpful and heartful approach which shifts the paradigm of how we "manage behavior."..." Read more
"...Mona Delahooke is kind, caring, and brilliant in her application and explanation of complex neuroscience...." Read more
Customers find the book ground-breaking, game-changing, and mind-altering. They also say it's transformational for people who work with kids.
"...This book encourages a complete paradigm-shift in our assessment and treatment of child behavior problems...." Read more
"This book is paradigm changing...." Read more
"Outstanding. Ground breaking. Game changing...." Read more
"Transformational, Paradigm Shifting Book for people who work with kids!..." Read more
Reviews with images
A great book!
-
Top reviews
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
"Our approaches fall short when we simply mist little flowers struggling to grow in parched soil. Instead, we need to tend the soil. In human beings, the 'soil' is safety in relationships - safety as perceived by each child's nervous system, not as defined by adults for the child."
I highly recommend this book to anyone that works with children! It breaks down literal brain science and makes it make sense for us lay people. The book was an easy read with a lot of real life examples that helped explain the concepts and tons of worksheets that could be immediately utilized with children and families. The author also provides a lot of good resources.
Every chapter, I sat back & reflected & cried. Cried for the validation it gave me. Cried for the knowledge it gave me. Cried for the grieving process of realizing that all these years, over & over, people tried to convince me that my son was manipulating me & tried to get me to go against my instincts (& were successful at times). Cried for the power to finally & truly be able to help my son. His behaviors don’t feel overwhelming anymore. We are already reaping the benefits. It’s been life changing, & I’m so thankful for this book.
Top reviews from other countries
Beyond Behaviours explores why it is crucial to understand and respond to every child's individual differences; authentically and with unconditional positive regard. The book explores more in-depth ways of doing so, through the use of valuable worksheets, checklists and models. The resources included in the book assist the reader to enquire about what else might be happening for a child, when they behave in ways that can be easily misunderstood.
If you are the parent, carer or educator of a child who responds to the world in ways that can be difficult to understand or manage, I would highly recommend this book.














