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I Will Die On This Hill Paperback – January 19, 2023
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There is a significant divide between autistic advocates and parents of autistic children. Parents may feel attacked for their lack of understanding, and autistic adults who offer insight and guidance are also met with hostility and rejection.
Meghan Ashburn, a mother of two autistic boys, and Jules Edwards, an autistic parent, were no strangers to this tension and had an adversarial relationship when they first met. Over time, the two resolved their differences and are now co-conspirators in the pursuit of disability justice.
This book unites both perspectives, exploring the rift between these communities and encouraging them to work towards a common goal. It provides context to dividing issues, and the authors use their experience to illustrate where they've messed up, where they've got things right, and what they've learned along the way.
- Print length256 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherJessica Kingsley Publishers
- Publication dateJanuary 19, 2023
- Dimensions5.43 x 0.64 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-101839971681
- ISBN-13978-1839971686
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Editorial Reviews
Review
I Will Die on This Hill is such a gift for all of us who have been clueless and way too speculative and assuming about autism. I can't guarantee that this is going to make you a better advocate-it might do that. But more importantly, Ashburn and Edwards' honest and unsentimental book will make you a better human being and, therefore, a better neighbor, better educator, better family member to Autistic adults, Autism parents and the children who need us all to do better.--Marcie Alvis Walker, creator of Black Coffee with White Friends
If you work with autistic children or have an autistic child in your family, I Will Die on This Hill is the very next book you should read, and maybe the most important book you'll read in your life.--Nick Walker, PhD, author of Neuroqueer Heresies
Book Description
About the Author
Meghan Ashburn is a mother of autistic twins. She's an educational consultant who is passionate about inclusion and accessibility. Meghan is the creator of Not an Autism Mom and hosts That Au-Some Book Club. www.notanautismmom.com
Jules Edwards is an autistic activist and parent of autistic children. She is the writer of Autistic, Typing, and works to educate the community and influence policy to promote disability justice. www.autistictyping.com
Product details
- Publisher : Jessica Kingsley Publishers (January 19, 2023)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 256 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1839971681
- ISBN-13 : 978-1839971686
- Item Weight : 9.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.43 x 0.64 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #43,405 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Meghan Ashburn is an educational consultant, parent mentor, and co-author of the upcoming book, I Will Die On This Hill. She's passionate about inclusion and communication rights.
Her website, Not An Autism Mom, is loaded with resources to help educators and parents support Autistic children inside and outside the classroom. Her Unprofessional Developments focus on expanding communication options, with an emphasis on high-tech AAC (augmentative/alternative communication).
A neurodivergent parent to four children, two of whom are Autistic, Meghan spends her spare time trying to change the world. She recently graduated from Virginia's PiP (Partners in Policymaking) with the Virginia Board for People with Disabilities, and she sits on her local school district's SEAC (Special Education Advisory Board).
Morénike Giwa Onaiwu, PhD, is a global self-advocate, educator and disabled non-binary woman of color in a neurodiverse, serodifferent family. Diagnosed with autism in adulthood after the diagnoses of their two youngest children, Morénike is a prolific writer, public speaker, social scientist/activist, and survivor whose work focuses on meaningful community involvement, inclusion, digital media, narratology, race, gender, human rights, justice, and intersectionality.
Morénike, a Black (Yoruba, Caboverdiano, American) Xennial and parent of six biological and adopted children with disabilities, is a Humanities Scholar in the Center for the Study of Women, Gender, and Sexuality at Rice University, a former full-time K-12 and college professor as well as the founder of a grassroots nonprofit, Advocacy Without Borders.
A recipient of numerous awards, Morénike is a widely sought after keynote presenter who has been an invited speaker in the White House and the UN and loves reading, writing, beaches, Steven Universe, and Dragonball Z & Super.
MorenikeGO.com (website)
@MorenikeGO (social media)
Discover more of the author’s books, see similar authors, read author blogs and more
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Reviewed in the United States on February 5, 2023
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Top reviews
Top reviews from the United States
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For new Autistic parents, grandparents, loved ones, educators, I would start here. In some moments, it's more than I came here for (being honest!), especially the decades long tension (putting it lightly), and the gross reality of abuse in the Autistic Community, and intersectinality for example. The gold nuggets that I took away essentially make up an informed foundation for me as a non-Autistic parent of a beautiful autistic child; they gave me a visual of the landscape and where to go from here. I feel a greater charge and challenge to think of not only how I want to raise my child but what will be my role as I raise my child who will become an Autistic Adult in a few short years.
I pre-ordered this book because the topic was so important, I immediately wanted to support the authors -- but it exceeded my expectations. This book is phenomenal. There is so much detailed, nuanced discussion that treats everyone's point of view with respect while remaining neurodiversity-affirming. I loved hearing from both of the main authors as well as all of the additional contributors. There is a great mix of personal, emotional experiences with general facts and a look at the broader picture.
In addition to all the great material within the book, the authors refer to many outside resources for the reader to continue learning. Not only is there this wealth of information, but they provide the reader with tips on what to actually DO about the issues they bring up. With all the misinformation out there, and with the way society seems to be set up against our children, it can be easy to feel hopeless. But I definitely feel more hopeful and less alone after reading this book.
This is required reading for anyone (parents, relatives, doctors, teachers, therapists, etc.) who cares for and works with autistic children!
This is the book the world so desperately needed. It is so uniquely written. It is informative and inspirational, but it is raw and evokes every emotion imaginable. This is probably one of the more quotable books I’ve read in awhile. It fights back against the tragedy narrative that’s been shoved down our throats for decades. I feel like I can parent better after reading this, I also feel as though I can cut myself some slack after reading this. So many valuable stories and anecdotes throughout this book, some funny, some heartbreaking, some relatable and many eye opening. It was like having a warm cup of coffee and a meaningful talk with a good friend. So much misinformation is debunked in this book. As a former educator, I know the reality that teachers received little to no training on how to support neurodivergent students. Obviously, this is no fault of their own, teachers are heroes, and if they knew what the autistic community wanted them to know and do; schools would be a better (safer and more enjoyable) place for so many students. I want every therapist and every educator to read this book, heck- I want everyone to read this book. Peace out martyr parents, I’m pulling up a chair for us to love, appreciate and celebrate our children and ourselves. Read this book, you won’t regret it. You will laugh, you might cry, you will (hopefully) check and unpack your own ableism and reflect on your mistakes- but you will learn to do better. None of us are going to get it all right, but this collaboration will point us in the right direction. This book is truly revolutionary, it has the potential to change the world for disabled individuals if only we listen and we are open to challenge what we thought we knew.
Thank you Meghan and Jules for this labor of love, you made the world a better and more informed place!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 5, 2023
This is the book the world so desperately needed. It is so uniquely written. It is informative and inspirational, but it is raw and evokes every emotion imaginable. This is probably one of the more quotable books I’ve read in awhile. It fights back against the tragedy narrative that’s been shoved down our throats for decades. I feel like I can parent better after reading this, I also feel as though I can cut myself some slack after reading this. So many valuable stories and anecdotes throughout this book, some funny, some heartbreaking, some relatable and many eye opening. It was like having a warm cup of coffee and a meaningful talk with a good friend. So much misinformation is debunked in this book. As a former educator, I know the reality that teachers received little to no training on how to support neurodivergent students. Obviously, this is no fault of their own, teachers are heroes, and if they knew what the autistic community wanted them to know and do; schools would be a better (safer and more enjoyable) place for so many students. I want every therapist and every educator to read this book, heck- I want everyone to read this book. Peace out martyr parents, I’m pulling up a chair for us to love, appreciate and celebrate our children and ourselves. Read this book, you won’t regret it. You will laugh, you might cry, you will (hopefully) check and unpack your own ableism and reflect on your mistakes- but you will learn to do better. None of us are going to get it all right, but this collaboration will point us in the right direction. This book is truly revolutionary, it has the potential to change the world for disabled individuals if only we listen and we are open to challenge what we thought we knew.
Thank you Meghan and Jules for this labor of love, you made the world a better and more informed place!

Top reviews from other countries

This book is an honest conversation between an autistic mother of autistic children (Jules) and an allistic mother of autistic children (Meghan). The realism and transparency of the discussions is something we need more of. We all have to understand that we are continuously developing and learning from different starting points. There is and will be conflict, however how we choose to approach this conflict will make or break the future of our children.
Some passages were hard to read because of the rawness and eye-opening perspective with which they were written. But even emotionally churning conversations like these must be had. We cannot build a healthy, safe and inclusive future for our children if we do not talk about our struggles and differences.
To me it felt like reading a book on self-reflection from both perspectives. Both Jules and Meghan talk about both their positive and negative experiences and what they have learnt from each along the way.
The book starts like this :
"The autistic community and the non-autistic (allistic) parent community are standing on two hills, divided by rivers of information and connected by bridges. In both communities, there are bridge-builders, bridge-burners, and people who believe there should be no bridge at all. What we must all keep in mind is that our children are standing on the bridges. If we burn the bridges, the children perish. If we remove the bridge. the children drown. The only real option to save our children is by working together to make those bridges stronger."
This is it. THE it. This paragraph right here, made me stop and think before I could turn the page. Our children need us all to be better and do better. We cannot run away from the hardships but we need to find our tribe and realise we are not alone - autistic or allistic.
The book talks quite a bit about the fact that believe it or not, our autistic children will grow up to be autistic adults! The way we address their strengths and difficulties NOW paves the path to their adult future. This is one of the many reasons why listening to autistic voices is paramount - they were autistic children once! They've lived and continue living autistically, which me, as an allistic person will never fully understand regardless of how much I read or talk about it.
The bottom line is, we need to keep conversations flowing. Healthy discussions open doors to helpful ideas.
So read this book. Talk about it. Share it with everyone and anyone. Reach out. Connect. Leave your ego, misinformation and "autism warrior parent" shit at the door and be willing to learn. After all, we should all be fighting for the same common goal - the best lives for our children.
Meghan and Jules - thank you for combining your strengths and wisdom to write this book, it's invaluable.
#IWillDieOnThisHill



