This book was the best I have ever read regarding sex in marriage. I recommend it for anyone who is engaged or thinking about being engaged if you want to have a great sex life. If you're nervous about sex, or worried about what married sex will be like, you and your partner need to read this together before you say "I do." (I'm putting all the Google search words I used when I was in this position).
Finding the Love of Your Life by Neil Clark Warren is good for picking if you found someone with the right character. This one is about talking about great sex. Both are necessary before you get engaged or right after. I would especially recommend reading this if you are with someone who is against premarital sex -- just make sure they agree to everything in this book about married sex.
I have been bothered by people and churches who are against premarital sex, but provide no other guidance to men. They never say tell these poor single guys in their twenties who have a hard time attracting women that porn and fantasy masturbation, instead of sex, are actually worse (see Sex, Men, and God by Doug Weiss). They never say anything about the need for a man to be sexually aggressive, take the initiative, or not be "nice" (see the GREAT book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover). It's for these reasons that I think many men who delay sex until after marriage have a lot of problems, as studies by Sandfort and Hyde / DeLamater have shown. These same churches and authors promote the myth that by avoiding premarital sex, one will have great sex in marriage. That's why I like Sheet Music: because it points out that there is more that you need to do to ensure great sex in marriage, while providing great reasons to avoid premarital sex. These reasons include why invest the time getting to know how to pleasure her if she might leave you. It also notes that by not having it, you talk more about it, which is essential if you want to have great sex throughout your marriage. It also made the point, one that even some pro-sex publications like Mens Health echoes, that pre-marital sex rarely predicts the quality of the sex in the marriage.
I liked this book especially because it looks at the man's side a lot better than most books. Churches tell everyone about not having premarital sex. Then they also acknowledge that men want sex more than women. So what's a poor guy to do? Sheet Music talks directly to that issue many times in his book, like that when you commit to marriage, you commit to sex 2-3x a week for the rest of your life. He also points out that women who have been abused run to marriage to AVOID sex -- something to watch out for if you are thinking of becoming engaged to someone who claims to be against premarital sex.
Another thing I liked about this book is the importance of the bride's beauty. Many, many authors say looks don't matter. However, LeMan makes the point that your wife wants to be told she's beautiful, a lot. So if you don't feel that way, don't get engaged.
I had also looked at Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start by Joyce and Cliff Penner. I liked Sheet Music better.
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10/10: Lighthearted and honest book
Dr. Kevin Lehmen presents sex in a way that is lighthearted and Biblical. If your sex life is struggling, you just got married, or you’re engaged, this will be a great book for you. The topics discussed were extremely interesting, and Lehman uses maturity and humor to present this “taboo” idea that sex is an amazing gift. Dive into topics such as masturbation, sex outside of marriage, what sex can do for your marriage, body insecurity, and so much more. My pastor had me read this book as part of premarital counseling, and I would recommend to any couple that is engaged or married, especially the women.
Top reviews from other countries
Julio Perez
Totally recommend this book! Here is why ... :)
Reviewed in Mexico on August 8, 2024
Julio Perez
Reviewed in Mexico on August 8, 2024
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