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John Bourke
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James Downey
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Her Final Year: A Care-Giving Memoir Kindle Edition

by James Downey (Author), John Bourke (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 43 ratings
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Two families, half a continent apart, faced with a loved one struggling against the onset of Alzheimer’s Disease.

Two men, who each wind up being the primary care-provider for a beloved mother-in-law. These were roles they never expected to fill. Nothing they had done previously had prepared them for this.

We often hear that life is a journey, and it's the journey that matters – the path and the experiences – more than anything else. The family confronted with a loved one struggling against dementia often faces new, unexpected twists and turns in their journey.

This book offers some perspective on that journey, as we were going through it. It’s part memoir, part journal, and all based on the things we were writing at the time. In seeing what we experienced, and the decisions we each made, over the arc of care-giving and then recovery, perhaps you will be better able to understand your own path, choose your own road.
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  1. Print length
    422 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    July 14, 2011
  4. File size
    1313 KB
  5. Page Flip
    Enabled
  6. Word Wise
    Enabled
  7. Enhanced typesetting
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  8. See all details
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B005CWN9TU
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ HFY Publishing, LLC (July 14, 2011)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 14, 2011
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1313 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 422 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 43 ratings

About the authors

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  1. John Bourke

    John Bourke

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    A technology professional with more than 20 years of experience, John works with companies to define, build, document and manage their business technology goals. His writing covers both non-fiction and fiction topics spanning science, business technology, caregiving, science fiction, fantasy, history (actual & alternative), and pets; his writing appears primarily online under his name and under a pseudonym.

    He has co-authored two books - Her Final Year: A Care-Giving Memoir by James Downey, John Bourke, Martha John and Kathi Bourke [Non-Fiction, Memoir] and Sync by J. Lee Dunn and J.A. Bourke [Fantasy/Science Fiction] - and is working on a SYNC sequel with J. Lee, in addition to a graphic novel entitled "The Rainbow Renegades."

    He lives in southeastern Massachusetts with his wife Kathi, their two dogs (a Catahoula Leopard Dog/Husky mix, and a derpy Huskamute) along with a ghost or three.

    See more on the author's page
  2. James Downey

    James Downey

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    James Downey has written thousands of pieces for numerous online and print publications. He is an artist and respected conservator of rare books & documents. His "Ballistics by the Inch" site is generally considered the premier world reference on handgun ballistic performance. He was co-author of "Her Final Year", an Alzheimer's Disease care-giving memoir. And he was author of the very popular "Communion of Dreams" science fiction novel, of which this is the prequel. More information about him can be found on Wikipedia (see below) and other online sources.

    Wikipedia entry http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Downey_%28Internet_performance_artist%29

    You can contact Jim here: jim@communionofdreams.com

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
43 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative and helpful for caregivers. They describe it as a heartwarming memoir that is emotional and gripping. The writing quality is described as well-written, with a heartfelt perspective. The book is considered a must-read for adult children who have to say goodbye to their loved ones.

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Information qualityHeartwarmingWriting quality
10 customers mention "Information quality"10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book informative and helpful for caregivers. They appreciate the account of what to expect as parents age. Readers praise the devoted attendants mentioned in the account.

"...The stories that John and Jim weave are poignant, raw, and extremely helpful to those of us who have gone through similar experiences...." Read more

"...is an emotional, gripping, incredibly personal account of love and dedication and honor...." Read more

"Provided knowledge for caregivers of people with this horrible disease my sympathies to all of them for their compassion and care" Read more

"...The two men in the account were truly devoted attendants and I was impressed by them." Read more

9 customers mention "Heartwarming"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the memoir heartwarming and emotional. They say it's relatable and compassionate.

"...The stories that John and Jim weave are poignant, raw, and extremely helpful to those of us who have gone through similar experiences...." Read more

"...This is an emotional, gripping, incredibly personal account of love and dedication and honor...." Read more

"...authors and their wives had walked in my shoes and understood my feelings and frustrations...." Read more

"Courageous book, honest and heart wrenching. Having been my Mother's caregiver on her journey with Alzheimer's, this book was so relatable...." Read more

6 customers mention "Writing quality"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the writing quality good. They say it's well-written with a normal person in mind. The perspective is heartfelt and the book is a must read for adult children who have to say goodbye to people they love.

"...for pulling back the curtain and revealing the truth and for telling it so well. I can't say enough about this book. I loved it...." Read more

"...Well written. Nice to know that the exhaustion I am now dealing with is also perfectly "normal"...." Read more

"The book has down to earth writing that is written with normal people in mind...." Read more

"...The author did a good job of writing about the difficulties faced by the family caregivers...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Kindle Lover
    5.0 out of 5 stars Appropriate and Timely
    Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I just said goodbye to my mother three weeks ago following several years of increasingly frail health and dementia. This book was very timely and cathartic for me. I assisted in the care of my mother, although not on a daily basis because I live a distance away, but spent extended periods of time caring for her. The stories that John and Jim weave are poignant, raw, and extremely helpful to those of us who have gone through similar experiences. Having also cared for my father in his last days of life, I could relate to some of the feelings they described following the death of Martha Sr. and Georgia. I also have experienced some of the related family issues and financial issues that they faced. Thank you for sharing your experiences and thank you for doing such a beautiful job of caring for your mothers-in-law. This book is a great read for those who are currently caring for a loved one or for someone who has cared for a loved one.
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Colette Buchanan
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for Anyone Who Has To Slowly Lose A Parent
    Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    This book is a comfort. This book is a public service. You feel like you're alone and your mother or your father or your grandmother is there, but slowly going and there is nothing you can do about it. This book describes personality changes from just being short tempered to forgetting how to speak, forgetting your name or thinking you are a man, when you are her daughter. This heart-wrenching account prepares you for what may come, but, for someone like me, validates what has already happened. I took care of an elderly couple and watched them slip slowly into oblivion. I had to help them with dressing, bathing and other bathroom functions. From meal prep to feeding, from adult diapers to monitoring all medications, from being the doctor liaison to not taking to heart the horrible language and fits of rage from the patient(s) to the intermittent off the wall comments and other abusive behavior. The caregiver puts up with that out of love and decency. This book describes these things in the form of daily and weekly accounts as well as diary log pages of personal fear and depression and exasperation and recurring bubbling senses of humor. I loved this because it made me cry and it made me laugh. It's not all drudgery. It's hysterically funny at times. But it wouldn't be funny at all if you didn't love the patient. This is a book of love, told by the sons-in-law chiefly. I couldn't put it down. This is a must read for adult children who have to say goodbye to the people they love the most. God bless the authors and their wives and the parent/patients they had to love, under fire, no matter what, until death they did part. This is an emotional, gripping, incredibly personal account of love and dedication and honor. These women were honored by their children and their children's husbands. I am overwhelmed and proud to know (two of them). I'm proud to call these folks my friends. I recommend this book to anyone who is facing their own Final Year having to say the long goodbye. And you think you know what's ahead, but you don't. You really don't. Thank you folks for pulling back the curtain and revealing the truth and for telling it so well. I can't say enough about this book. I loved it. Your mothers are smiling from Heaven. I think they thank you the most. To all who read this review ... sit back and take your time and enjoy Her Final Year: A Care-Giving Memoir. And just to end this review with a smile: You'll never forget this book. Enjoy.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • sunnieday
    4.0 out of 5 stars A heart wrenching memoir
    Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    When I decided to read this book I was very ill and trying to cope with having found that I have terminal cancer and my time left was short. My husband had had to take over the roll of caregiver. I thought this might be a book that could or would help him after this ordeal is over. I didn't realize that it was an Alzheimer story till I started reading it. I am an RN and have a 30 plus year career taking care of patients. For that reason I really enjoyed reading this. We also have a friend, a nurse as well, who has been placed in a nursing home after suffering from that terrible disease after progressing to the point of her husband not being able to care for her appropriately and safely at home. I felt much empathy for both of your families and did confirm to me the stress and damage to a caregivers health. I appreciate you sharing your stories to help others who are experiencing this now. I did have a bit of trouble keeping things straight as you went forward and backward in time with the narrative. That could just have been me experiencing chemo fog. It did impress on me the importance of making sure that I can ensure that my sweet husband is able to get out and do things he enjoys so he can decompress for as long as I have that ability. He is still at the stage where he doesn't want help and needs to feel like he is doing something to help me. Thank you for sharing!
    One person found this helpful
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  • Bintheredonthat
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
    Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I just finished reading this book, six weeks after the death of my own father, who suffered from dementia. It was like reading my life for the last six years. It gave me great solice to know that others had the same challenges that my husband and I faced on a daily basis. Well written. Nice to know that the exhaustion I am now dealing with is also perfectly "normal". I too now need to figure out this "new" marriage that I find myself in. ( we have only been married for six years and have had my dad living with us all that time.) thank you for you honesty about being a caregiver. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone in a caregiver role, but especially for those dealing with dementia and Alzheimer's.
    One person found this helpful
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