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Chomp, Chomp, Chomp: How I Survived a Bear Attack and Other Cautionary Tales by [Hansen, Allena]

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Chomp, Chomp, Chomp: How I Survived a Bear Attack and Other Cautionary Tales Kindle Edition

by Allena Hansen (Author)

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“…Not quite full-grown, it's haunched down like a dog, tensed and coiled and ready to spring. We make eye contact for the merest fraction of a second, and in this moment I know exactly what's coming…."

A tragicomic collection of latter day Grimm's Fairy Tales, Allena Hansen's true life accounts won the IBPA 2015 Benjamin Franklin Award for best memoir/autobiography. "Chomp, Chomp, Chomp; How I Survived a Bear Attack and Other Cautionary Tales" introduces us to the bon vivant and social pariah Hunter S. Thompson toasted as "the distaff Hunter S. Thompson" and her sworn antagonist, Andrew Breitbart called out as "the coolest person in the room."

Offering herself up as a cautionary example, Hansen poses the age-old question, 'What makes a survivor?" Read this book and remain as puzzled as ever, but as you marvel at her uncompromisingly bad judgment and uncanny resilience, you just might learn something that could save your life.

Length: 342 pages	Word Wise: Enabled	Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Product details

File Size: 3324 KB
Print Length: 342 pages
Publisher: Wise Ink Creative Publishing; 2 edition (October 12, 2012)
Publication Date: October 12, 2012
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B009PXTGHG
Text-to-Speech: Enabled

X-Ray:

Enabled

Word Wise: Enabled
Lending: Not Enabled
Screen Reader: Supported

Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #475,632 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #768 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Biographies & Memoirs > Sports & Outdoor > Adventurers & Explorers
- #790 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Biographies & Memoirs > Travel
- #901 in Kindle Store > Whispersync for Voice > Humor & Entertainment

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Edwin A. Suominen

An entertaining and wonderfully written memoir

September 28, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

As I finished this wonderful book, I took a look around at the quiet beauty of my modest life and paid some attention to the feeling in my lips and face. Or more precisely, the lack of feeling; everything is just where it should be, doing its thing without much fuss. That is something that Ms. Hansen missed after the “Ursadent,” as her son cleverly termed the bear attack she went through after a lifetime of other dramatic events.

And yet I have the feeling that she would have sat there with me on the deck and smiled at my observing this (probably more naturally and less painfully than it was to do so during her immediate recovery from the attack) and said, “Yes, it’s a beautiful world. Enjoy it. Hell, I still do.” Ms. Hansen is a brilliant writer, witty and vivid and engaging. I read chapter after chapter about her adventures from childhood on, wondering when the bear attack would finally happen but not feeling impatient for it at all. There was just so much going on, as she met people and slept with quite a few of them and tiptoed past the minefields they left behind in her life. She has had an amazing life well lived, and I very much enjoyed sitting with her for a few hours and reading about it.

5 people found this helpful6 people found this helpful

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Reads4fun

Amazing Story

November 18, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

It's obvious from the beginning to the end of this book that Allena Hansen is a cut above the rest when it comes to writing. She is intellectual, humorous, and an amazing survivor. If you pick this one up expecting the entire book to be about her encounter with a bear, think again. This is about Ms. Hansen's life and an incredible one at that. Throughout her years, she experiences frightening events that most of us would never survive in whole or in part. However, Allena always seems to pick herself back up and goes onward with a positive spirit and a dash of realistic humor. If I had anything to add, I would have liked more details about what happened to "Andrew". I hope he went to prison for his actions. There are a few editing errors, but it doesn't take away from the story. Allena does an amazing job of raising her son to be like herself. Fearless.

4 people found this helpful5 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

a Good Read

October 9, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I thoroughly enjoyed many parts of this book and often couldn't put it down. I did feel that there was something missing. The book was only focused on some of the traumatic and draining incidents the author had to deal with. There were many tantalisingly unfulfilled sentences that hinted at a whole other part of her life that I was intrigued by. For example, she had obviously travelled widely and she obviously had sources of income that weren't obvious and jobs that we never heard about. It would have been good to have had the trauma balanced with the positives. I do recommend this book, though.

4 people found this helpful5 people found this helpful

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Arnold

Excellent book, excellent writing.

November 14, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

To me a good book is one that you think back on , be it years or months after reading it. I will be thinking back on this book as it made me laugh as well as cry. I really enjoyed the writer's perspectives so much that I wrote this review only seconds after I finished the book. My tears are still wet on my cheeks. Bravo!

4 people found this helpful5 people found this helpful

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yohmama

Hold on - it's quite a ride!

October 30, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Wow! What an adventure. You will be amazed at how much happens BEFORE she meets the bear. My daughter read it and recommended. I bought it and read it, talked my husband into reading it, loaned it to a friend at work. Everyone loves it!

3 people found this helpful4 people found this helpful

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ReadingisFun

Quite an intense read, but well-written!

January 9, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Oh my!! Got an education with this book. She should be writing more books. I would buy.

2 people found this helpful3 people found this helpful

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Southwest Consumer

Bear attack? Read it for her amazing life! A Boomer's delight.

May 9, 2013

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Her memoir/autobiography is flowing, well-written, interesting, unbelievable and worth the read! I can't find time just now to sit and finish this book, but am stealing minutes to do so because I want to know what comes next. I bought it as a Kindle book for five bucks after stumbling onto an online interview Allena did. I really appreciated her witty, thoughtful replies to questions about the bear attack.
Someone asked her if they could send her money for her med bills and her answer was, "Buy my book." So, I did. The first few pages sketched the attack, then she launched into her life story. She was born in 1951 and really has had a Baby Boomer's life story that would make a great TV serial. (Everything from living abroad, to being a resort-hotel maid, to attending Hollywood "scenes" and then also having a career in radio.) About 50% into it, and she is in her mid 20s... I just can't wait to see how things go from here!
I'd give it 4.5 because the book presentation for Kindle is very good but there is a formatting problem in the justification when a printed book would have broken a word or sentence punctuation (m-dash) or hyphenated a word and this Kindle presentation doesn't work properly in the small type-size that I use. (...wondering if Allena did it all herself? She seems capable enough to have done so, and I have seen a few *horrible* Kindle "books" which do not grasp formatting for books.) It's a quibble, I know, but I find it is the *only* distraction from the content, which is presented in short chapters/vignettes, rich in content and story-telling and worth the time. Remember, I am only half-through the book! I may come back to make it a 5 star.
12/28/13 upgrading it to 5 stars from the May 2014 4.5 stars. I finished it long ago and still am thinking about bits of it... The formatting issues are long forgotten.

4 people found this helpful5 people found this helpful

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Cela84

Relentless, Funny, and Gripping

December 1, 2012

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

You would never think a bear mauling could be in any way funny until reading Chomp Chomp Chomp. This book really takes it out of you. It is remarkable how much Allena has gone through in her life and kept on ticking. One thing after another hits her, and yet she still keeps a sense of humor about it.

This book is heavy. But it's page turning-required reading for anyone who feels the weight of the world on their shoulders and needs to see someone go through relatable, if not far more absurd, trials and come out with a medically replaced smile on their face.

33 people found this helpful34 people found this helpful

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