At JFK's kegger, Abe Lincoln tries to win CleopatraÆs heart, Gandhi gets drunk on non-alcoholic beer, and Principal Scudworth gets beaten up for saying the phrase "raise the roof."

Abe and JFK campaign against each other in the school presidential elections, which, as you might expect, leads to Marilyn Manson singing about the food pyramid.

When Gandhi is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, America's most famous A.D.D. victim, Tom Green, teaches the school that you can't get the disease from toilet seats.

At the Clone High Film Festival, Abe pours his heart into a movie about a football-playing giraffe, George Washington Carver and Gandhi make a mixed-race action comedy called Black and Tan, and Joan of Arc directs a bizarre, avant-garde film.

Clone High tackles the hard-hitting issue of Sleepy Driving when Abe and JFK square off in a drag race for Cleo's love, and Mr. Butlertron gets into a Battle Bots-style fight with a cocksure test-grading machine.

The Clone High basketball team doesn't allow girls or animals to play, so Joan of Arc takes a cue from her historic counterpart and disguises herself as a boy by putting on a comically large mustache. (ESPN's Chris Berman and Dan Patrick guest star.)

MTV's casting department demonstrates their mastery in being able to attract guest stars of the highest caliber in this episode, as Ashley Angel from O-Town visits Clone High and wins Cleo's heart.

Jack Black guest stars in a trippy rock opera episode where the students get high from smoking raisins, and Gandhi has a bad trip where he is eaten by a live-action cat and encounters a two-headed Olsen Twins monster.

Abe is stuck in the middle of a Civil War between Joan and Cleo when they are forced to move in together. And by "Civil War" I mean "girl fight" and by "move in together" I mean "roll around ripping each other's clothes off."

Continuing a time-honored teen-drama tradition, a hastily-introduced "best friend" is killed and melodramatically mourned when Clone High succumbs to the evils of litter. (90210's Luke Perry guest stars as marked man Ponce de Leon.)

Mandy Moore guest stars as a homeless angel who teaches Joan of Arc the true meaning of a completely made-up, meaningless holiday.

Abe tries to decide whether he will ask Joan or Cleo to prom, and JFK makes Gandhi over into GFK to help him find a date to dry hump at prom.

In the shocking prom night conclusion to the season, one of the clones loses their virginity, and guest star John Stamos selflessly sacrifices his own life to save the students.