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Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Recover from Emotional Abuse, Recognize Narcissists & Manipulators and Break Free Once and for All Paperback – April 1, 2021

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,577 ratings

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Break free from the lies and manipulation that are keeping you captive

You’re positive you saw a flirty text from another woman on your husband’s phone. Yet, when you confront him, he tells you you’re imagining things and being paranoid.

A co-worker sarcastically mentions that you’re not contributing enough to the big project. When you get offended, they say they were just joking and that you’re too sensitive.

Your mother constantly criticizes your weight. When you bring up her comments around other people, she denies ever saying them and says you are making up stories.

Have you repeatedly found yourself in these types of situations where you end up doubting yourself?

They might have occurred with different people, in different circumstances, but the way they make you feel is the same.

Your feelings are trivialized, your thoughts are manipulated, and your reality is denied.

When this is done to you repeatedly, you begin to feel confused or even crazy. You are left questioning your own reality and sanity.

These are classic signs that you’re being gaslighted, and it’s something to take very seriously.

Gaslighting is a covert form of abuse that affects your confidence and trust in yourself, which the abuser then takes advantage of to keep you under their control.

Whether it’s a spouse, parent, or co-worker, it’s hard to break loose from the grip of a gaslighting manipulator.

You will need to know how gaslighters operate, how their behavior is affecting you, and how you can reclaim your truth.

In Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, you will discover:

  • The sneaky tactics gaslighters employ that catch you off-guard and make you more vulnerable to their exploitation
  • How to hold on to your grip on reality, despite the gaslighter’s efforts to undermine it
  • Powerful ways to respond to gaslighters, block their attacks, and take back control of the conversation
  • Why self-care is a critical component in coping with abuse, especially if you need to regularly interact with a gaslighter
  • The shift in mindset to help you finally gain the courage to escape an abusive relationship
  • What you need to do after leaving a gaslighting relationship to make sure you don’t fall into the same cycle again
  • Why you shouldn’t expect any closure from your abuser, and why you can still move on without it
  • How to rebuild your sense of self after years of being torn down by others

    And much more.

    Acknowledging that you’re being abused is the first step towards recovery.

    After years of gaslighting, you may be so used to it that you no longer recognize this is not a normal way to live.

    You might believe that there’s no way out, or you can’t imagine life without the one who’s manipulating you.

    But if you truly want to be able to live life on your own terms, cutting yourself off from the source of your pain is essential.

    It won’t happen overnight, and it will take committed effort, but you can feel like yourself again – the person you used to be… the person you’re meant to be.

    If you want to take back control of your life and regain your sanity and self-worth, then scroll up and click the “Add to Cart” button right now.

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From the Publisher

Break Free
Overcome Emotional Abuse, People-Pleasing, and Trauma

Path to Recovery

Rebuild Trust

Find Strength Within

Heal from Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse
Recovery from Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency & Complex PTSD (3 in 1) DBT Skills for Mental Health Inner Child Recovery Work with Radical Self Compassion Radical Self Love and Compassion Workbook Recovery from Complex PTSD The Codependency Recovery Blueprint
Recovery from Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency & Complex PTSD DBT Skills for Mental Health Inner Child Recovery Work with Radical Self Compassion Radical Self Love and Compassion Workbook Recovery from Complex PTSD The Codependency Recovery Blueprint
Customer Reviews
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Personal empowerment
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Many people that are stuck in a toxic relationship, whether romantic or familial, don't even realize it. They have come to believe that the way they are treated is normal. In order to break the cycle, victims need to be educated on the tactics, techniques, and manipulations used by those around them. By recognizing these tactics, they can finally admit to needing help.
In
Gaslighting& Narcissistic Abuse Recovery by Don Barlow, we are treated to a wide variety of eye-opening information. This book focuses on the tendencies of people with a narcissistic personality and how they manipulate those around them. The book starts with a discussion of narcissism and the variable spectrum of a condition known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Barlow then focuses the rest of his book on one particular technique those with NPD use: gaslighting. Within this technique, Barlow elaborates on the stages of gaslighting, how gaslighting can be seen outside romantic relationships, what the impacts are, and how one can respond/recover.

I loved how the book used many different real-life examples to help victims recognize a situation they may be in. Whether it is through the phrases a victim might hear, or a manipulator's constant need for control, I appreciated how Barlow highlighted the abnormality of these behaviours. The book's message and theme were approachable, accessible, and easily understood. What I liked the most, however, was the personal touch that the book brought to the pages. The book opened (and closed) with the author's own experiences with these kinds of relationships. First, he discussed the treatment he received growing up and how that affected his romantic relationships later on. In addition to Barlow's experiences, various other victims told their stories as well. This helps the reader realize that they are not alone. The last thing I'll mention here is that the book isn't simply for victims. I see this as an excellent resource for family members and friends that are looking to help someone being manipulated through gaslighting.

There was only one small thing that I disliked about this book. The book's main focus was intended to be on gaslighting and NPD. Although I completely acknowledge that there is a lot of crossover between other forms of abuse and gaslighting, I had the impression that the specific focus waned significantly as the book concluded. The final chapter, entitled "Recovering from Abuse", could have been applied to almost all types of abusive relationships and techniques. This remark, however, is very minor and could even be construed as a positive point for some readers seeking additional resources.

This book was full of great information. It identified key aspects of NPD and gaslighting to which I was previously ignorant, and I can definitely see it being a priceless reference for those suffering in a manipulative relationship. For those reasons alone, I fully believe that this book deserves a perfect
four out of four stars. The minor issue mentioned above wasn't enough to remove a star from the rating. The ideal audience for this book is evidently those that think they may be in a manipulative relationship, but it would be just as useful for friends and family wishing to provide assistance to a victim."
Officially reviewed by Online Book Club

Most people know someone who is a narcissist. In Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Don Barlow explains what a narcissist is and how to spot one. Then he takes time to advise on how to live with or deal with a narcissist. One could say that a narcissist is a legend in their own mind. Narcissism is a mental disorder; however, the person who has it can be helped. One of the problems is that a narcissist seldom sees that they need help with their "problem" because they don't see their personality as a "problem." Narcissists tend to use people. They use people to elevate themselves to the high and lofty positions they presume they rightly deserve. Most people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are expert manipulators.
Don Barlow calls on his years of experience and research to explain the workings of the mind of someone with narcissism in his book Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. Since those with NPD tend to be emotionally and verbally abusive, Don spends time showing the reader how to escape the pit of abuse after exposing narcissists. Don takes time to explain words that might be unfamiliar to his readers. For instance, he explains that the word "gaslighting" came from a 1930s hit play where the husband tries to convince his wife that she is going crazy. Gaslighting is verbal and emotional abuse. Don writes in a way so that all readers can understand the psychological world of NPD. He writes to help those in the struggle of abuse find the escape hatch. His use of real-life stories is enlightening.
Reviewed By Daniel D Staats for Readers' Favorite. (5 stars)

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B091F1BDNK
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently published (April 1, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 194 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8731539098
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.49 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,577 ratings

About the author

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Don Barlow
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Don Barlow is the author of several self-help books; he wishes to share his experience and gained knowledge with readers to help those with similar experiences to:

• Know they are not alone,

• Identify their symptoms, and

• Take back control of their lives

• Achieve a sense of freedom and self-worth.

Growing up with a manipulative and abusive parent, he spent many years dealing with mood swings, anxiety, panic attacks and other symptoms associated with abuse.

Recognizing his symptoms were those of gaslighting and PTSD, he began to research these topics and others, and through years of research and conducting case studies, he was able to learn valuable strategies for coping with and healing from his trauma.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,577 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book extremely helpful, informative, and powerful. They describe it as a great, interesting, and relatable read. Readers praise the writing style as clear, honest, and peppered with stories. They also find the content enlightening, eye-opening, and down-to-earth.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

65 customers mention "Helpfulness"62 positive3 negative

Customers find the book extremely helpful, informative, and powerful. They say it helps them see practical ways to help themselves find healing and avoid narcissism. Readers also mention the book is a good reference and incredible tool. They appreciate the great tips and say it helps open their eyes to a lot.

"...This book brought me COMFORT, serenity, and SUPPORT that I really needed. Literally couldn't put it down! Read it in 5 DAYS!..." Read more

"...At this point, I would say it is the most helpful book I've read on the subject...." Read more

"...Reading this book affected me physically, bringing me back to these moments in my own life...." Read more

"...But overall it is a good start and covers narcissistic abuse if you are married to a narcissist and gaslighter or dating one." Read more

41 customers mention "Readability"41 positive0 negative

Customers find the book great, helpful, and interesting. They say it's relatable and well-thought-out. Readers also mention the book holds their interest.

"...in my family who struggle with NPD, and this book has been the most useful text, offering examples of how NPD presents and, more importantly, how to..." Read more

"...The book is very readable, and the author has also suffered from unhealthy relationships featuring NPD partners...." Read more

"This book is an eye opener! If you can read it before you get into a deep hell, please do it! It will save your emotional and mental well being...." Read more

"This is a great book. It helped me identify what was going on in a work relationship I didn’t understand...." Read more

31 customers mention "Writing style"31 positive0 negative

Customers find the writing style easy to read, uplifting, and encouraging. They say the material is presented clearly and helps the reader understand what narcissistic abuse looks like. Readers also mention the book is written with kindness, genuineness, and professional expertise.

"...Clear...Honest...well thought out writing. This book brought me COMFORT, serenity, and SUPPORT that I really needed. Literally couldn't put it down!..." Read more

"I found this book clear, well-reasoned, and highly relatable...." Read more

"...This book will answer all your questions and make everything clear...." Read more

"...It was practical and down to earth and helped me see things clearer...." Read more

22 customers mention "Enlightened content"22 positive0 negative

Customers find the book enlightening, an eye-opener, and engaging. They say it provides great personal examples and experiences. Readers also mention the book is filled with stories and advice on how to break free and heal.

"...On whole, I found this book perfectly balanced – a casual, relatable, and useful read that I'm glad I purchased...." Read more

"...But overall it is a good start and covers narcissistic abuse if you are married to a narcissist and gaslighter or dating one." Read more

"...For me, this book was enlightening in painting a picture of what a narcissist is, where they come from, what they hide from, and what they see..." Read more

"I read this in a few days. I already feel better. The book gave me insight and clarity enough to understand that I am not crazy, that I do have..." Read more

12 customers mention "Ease of reading"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to understand, relatable, and down-to-earth. They say it clearly and concisely explains the cycle of a narcissist.

"...it is information you can use immediately, and it is explained in easy-to-understand language...." Read more

"The book is easy to read and understand. I read through it so quickly, I felt like I missed what I was reading for...." Read more

"...This book was a great find! It was practical and down to earth and helped me see things clearer...." Read more

"So fast and fun book. I was not sure if I was a victim of gaslighting by my covert narcissist husband so I purchased this book...." Read more

Are you being abused? Maybe you are not sure. …
5 out of 5 stars
Are you being abused? Maybe you are not sure. …
Are you being abused by a narcissist or a gaslighter? Maybe you are not sure. Perhaps someone you know is being abused. This book will answer all your questions and make everything clear. If in doubt about this very important, and very personal subject, please read this book.Author Don Barlow begins and ends his book with personal stories of his childhood and young adulthood. “No matter how hard I tried to be good, I was always in trouble.” “Simple misunderstandings would escalate into fights and accusations.” If these statements sound familiar, there’s a good chance you are in a personal relationship with a narcissist who uses gaslighting against you. “Gaslighting” is the name of the primary tactic narcissists use to control their victims and hide their massive insecurities. Usually, we can’t see toxic relationships from the inside, but Mr. Barlow lays them out in detail so they are clear and visible to anyone who wants to look. The elegant structure of the book covers all the bases:• Overview of Narcissism and Gaslighting• Gaslighter Targets, Traits, Tactics, and Techniques• The Impacts, Effects, and Stages of Toxic Relationships• Tools You Can Use to Break Away and RecoverBe sure of this: it won’t get better and your partner won’t change. A truly toxic person loves to watch others suffer, but he or she will never reveal that fact. Gaslighting is hard to recognize because it comes from someone we love.In the graphics associated with this review, I have included a small sample of Mr. Barlow’s “Traits, Tactics, and Techniques” associated with narcissists, and his “Fighting, Leaving, and Recovery” tools. The book is loaded with information like this; it is information you can use immediately, and it is explained in easy-to-understand language. There are even sample words and phrases associated with identifying, then leaving, narcissistic people. Now’s the time to take action!Mr. Barlow defines a narcissist as a person of grandiose self-importance, obsessed with themselves, lacking care for others, in need of endless admiration and attention, with a strong belief they hold a special place in the world and should be recognized for it. If you know someone with at least one of these traits, please read this book.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on September 18, 2024
UGH! The best books aren't viral on TikTok, and this is one of them!! Clear...Honest...well thought out writing. This book brought me COMFORT, serenity, and SUPPORT that I really needed. Literally couldn't put it down! Read it in 5 DAYS!

JUST GET IT!!!!!!
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2021
I found this book clear, well-reasoned, and highly relatable. I have women in my family who struggle with NPD, and this book has been the most useful text, offering examples of how NPD presents and, more importantly, how to respond to the abusive behaviors of those with NPD.

While the book is helpful in understanding people with NPD of any gender, the author's personal experience with a (cis female) mother and partners living with NPD seems to have informed his richer understanding of what this disorder might look like (and how it may present uniquely) in (American) women.

I've read a handful of similar books on NPD, and all have tended to give examples that feel more "masculine". I understand that this is because the disorder is most often diagnosed in men; however, that has sometimes made it difficult for me to find those texts as relatable or "on target" with the ways NPD abuse has occurred in my particular family.

On the other hand, I've found that books on NPD that explicitly center gender (e.g. talking about narcissistic mothering, for example) often spend too much time emphasizing gender at the expense of covering specific tactics of abuse and strategies for response. So, until reading this book, I have not found a text that so clearly speaks to how NPD has functioned in my life. At this point, I would say it is the most helpful book I've read on the subject.

Some of the other reviewers have mentioned that the book is too rooted in American culture, but I assume that's true of any book about mental health – especially a text that relies on case studies and examples (as our behavior is always shaped by the specifics of our culture and manifests within and through cultural contexts). I was confused by those reviews but, to be fair, I am American so perhaps the "Americanness" of the examples wasn't jarring for me in the way it might be for Brits or other global English readers.

On whole, I found this book perfectly balanced – a casual, relatable, and useful read that I'm glad I purchased. I'm confident that the strategies outlined will prove helpful in identifying patterns of abuse and moving forward.
28 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2024
I read this book because I believed I might have been the victim of this type of abuse. After the first couple of chapters I was certain of it. Reading this book affected me physically, bringing me back to these moments in my own life. I also realized that it wasn't the first time in my life.

This book highlights all the phases and forms gaslighting and narcissistic abuse takes, and gives concrete ways to help you extricate yourself from the situation and work on healing. It's not a magic book, and the author understands how difficult it is for us to recognize that someone so close to you is actively working against your well-being. He gives concrete examples of behaviors to be on the lookout for, and how to stay out of these traps.

The book is very readable, and the author has also suffered from unhealthy relationships featuring NPD partners. He is understanding, and mostly wants you to recognize what gaslighting is doing to you emotionally, mentally and yes, physically. He also wants to give you tools and information to get out of that situation.

If you have a friend who appears to be in one of these relationships, ask them to read this book. Hopefully, they will recognize themselves in this book and can try to remove thems.themselves from it.
8 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2022
This is the first book I read on the subject of Gaslighting and Narcissistic abuse recovery. This book's focus in mostly on romantic relationships, so only applied to me in that area. I bought it looking for the deeper source of the scars I still carry from a lifetime of this type of abuse from (family, romance, friends, co-workers, bosses, etc.). I was able to identify all of the abusers in my life over my lifetime including a parent, romantic partners, co-workers, bosses, and an adult child).

This book covers the narcissist's playbook, a definition of gaslighting, the stages of gaslighting, a high-level view of gaslighting in other relationships, the impact of gaslighting, some tools on how to cope and some basic recovery tools.

Since this was the first book I read, it led me to reading more books and I've read 7 of them now. I'd rank this one 4 or 5 only because it did not really contain the information I was seeking, which is childhood victims of narcissistic and gaslighting abuse. But overall it is a good start and covers narcissistic abuse if you are married to a narcissist and gaslighter or dating one.
15 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2024
good info book but you need a therapist for this insanity
Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2024
This book is an eye opener! If you can read it before you get into a deep hell, please do it! It will save your emotional and mental well being.
Love it!!

Top reviews from other countries

Alex Zarycka
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant!
Reviewed in Canada on October 11, 2024
This book helped me immensely. I now have a clearer understanding of what a narcissist is, and have also learned how to love myself and set boundaries with toxic people. I'm thankful for this book and what it has taught me.
Nick
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and so useful
Reviewed in the Netherlands on November 15, 2024
Helped me understand a narc in my life and how to deal with such people
Samantha McCormack
5.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 10, 2024
This book was incredible to read (I read it over 2 days) I knew I was being gaslighted from therapy and this book also confirmed it! It’s a tough read but I’m glad I read it! I am in the middle of healing!
laineycs
1.0 out of 5 stars A personal journal disguised as a self-help book
Reviewed in Italy on January 27, 2024
The author suggests that this book is a well-researched book. Turns out it is his personal account processing narcissism, combined with cherry picked stories found from the internet that support his experience. Almost all his sources are webpages from the internet. Save your money and do your own internet search.
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Good resource
Reviewed in Australia on January 26, 2023
I decided to highlight everything helpful and relevant to my situation with my abuse. The whole book is in yellow highlighter now.