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Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette: Or How to Get to Heaven or Hell Without Going Through Dallas-Fort Worth Hardcover – September 18, 2001

by Kinky Friedman (Author)

4.3 111 ratings

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Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Kinky Friedman is back and at his outrageous best in this hilarious guide to the Lone Star State. With George W. Bush in the White House, Americans are taking a second look at the state made famous by the Alamo, the armadillo, Willie Nelson, and, well, Kinky Friedman. As the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate, Kinky considers it his duty to educate Texans and non-Texans alike about the customs and habits of his native state. You'll never look at Texas the same way again after you encounter the real-life characters in Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette -- from hometown heroes and outlaws to rich Texas oilmen and country stars, Kinky provides an insider's view of his state's customs, history, and values.

Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette is composed of provocative essays and profiles, from "Shoshone The Magic Pony" to "Willie Nelson: The Back Of The Bus." Take Kinky's quiz and find out: "Redneck, Good Old Boy, Or Oilman: What Kind Of Texan Are You?" Read this book and you will learn how to spot a Texan abroad, which famous Texans are not from Texas, how Texas got its Lone Star, and the history of Texans' favorite drink, Dr Pepper. Filled with hair-raising quotes from Texas politicians, Ace Reid cartoons, strange Texas laws, and final meal requests by Texas death row inmates, this good-spirited book will be loved by both native Texans and the rest of us poor devils.

From Booklist

The commander-in-chief has called Friedman "a Texas legend," but the Kinkster hardly mentions GW a-tall, filling these pages instead with "Things You Would Never Hear a Real Texan Say" ("I'll have a decaf latte, please") and "The Texas Celebrity High School Football Hall of Fame," which reminds us that Tommy Lee Jones was guard for the Saint Mark's School of Texas Lions in Dallas. The Kinkster includes an invaluable glossary, "Texas Talk" (e.g., "'turd floater'--a very heavy downpour"); waxes poetic about the Alamo, the Yellow Rose, and Luckenbach; cracks wise about the weather, Aggies (Texas A & M students and alums), and armadillos; and quotes Willie Nelson, the Zen Texan featured in Friedman's 1997 mystery, Road Kill: "If you ain't crazy, there's something wrong with you." Interspersed with all the Texas ephemera are articles Friedman published first in such magazines as Rolling Stone and High Times, on topics ranging from the roots of Texas rock 'n' roll to the late Ace Reid, "the world's greatest cowboy cartoonist." Benjamin Segedin
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

About the Author

Kinky Friedman is an author, musician, defender of strays, cigar smoker, and the governor of the heart of Texas.

Print length

208 pages
Language

English
Publisher

William Morrow
Publication date

September 18, 2001
Dimensions

6 x 1 x 8.75 inches
ISBN-10

0066209889
ISBN-13

978-0066209883
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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ William Morrow; First Edition (September 18, 2001)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0066209889
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0066209883
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.1 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1 x 8.75 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,886,579 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,681 in Parody
- #1,813 in Nature Writing & Essays
- #3,348 in Humor Essays (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.3 111 ratings

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4.3 out of 5

111 global ratings

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Mr Apollo

Caution, bursting stereotypes about the Lone Star State

Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2023

Verified Purchase

Kinky hisself is much larger than life, from a US State that is also the Biggest One. First encountered him on a live radio broadcast in 1970's, and remain very impressed by how politically incorrect it was possible to be then without being stoned to death.

Like much of Kinky's music, this book is hilarious from beginning to end. The Kinkster definitely does not need politically incorrect spice to entertain. He is a master at inflating a stereotype so much that it bursts and spews over the reader. Careful not to laugh with mouth wide open.

Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2023

Nuffink

Guests Will Remove Spurs Before Retiring

Reviewed in the United States on June 20, 2013

Verified Purchase

Seriously, I expected a book about Texas etiquette. What I found was a hilarious book about Texas and Texans in general. I had never heard of the author, but when I mentioned him to two more-or-less sober Texans, they forgave my ignorance and explained the writer was extremely well known and loved in Texas and even had campaigned for governor. He covers such things as hair-dos; how to know if you are a redneck, good ol' boy, or an oilman; famous people who were Texans or should have been; how not to end a sentence with a preposition, Texas-style; urinating in public, etc. Classy stuff! If you cannot meet the man, at least you can read one of his books.

One person found this helpful

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John P. Lockwood

Pithy truths about Texans - full of irreverant kinky observations of note

Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2021

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Brand new - well-packed - but took over a month to sail on a boat to Hawaii by slow mail :-(

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Susan Beaty

Vintage Kinky Friedman

Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2013

Verified Purchase

I'm a native Texan and remember Kinky Friedman's antics from my time in Austin and Houston. I left Texas 16 years ago, so I thought this would be a fun read because Texas really is different than the rest of the world - not necessarily better or worse, but definitely different. I read part of it and it was funny, but I don't remember anything I found laugh out loud funny. It's been sort of pushed to the back of the queue of books that I'm reading and I don't have any real idea of when I'll get back to it. It might be funnier if you didn't grow up in Texas.

Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2021

Verified Purchase

Being a Texas expat, I laughed out loud a couple times. Not quite an etiquette guide, more or less a patchwork of anecdotes and Texas lore, yet entertaining all the same.

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socket

Funny and informative

Reviewed in the United States on September 6, 2012

Verified Purchase

I'd heard about this book on the Imus show and wanted to read it. Glad I did. Funny perspective on things that Texans are proud of and some not so much.

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JJB

You're a Texas oil man If:

Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2013

Verified Purchase

Kinky had me chuckling out loud (COL) as he regaled me with his stories of his travels with the Texas Jewboys. He takes some very sharp jabs at Texas Oil Men which I found most amusing. There are a lot of clean jokes you can share with your grand children, that they won't understand! But, it gives you a point of reference with dealing with the pompous people of the world, be they from Texas or wherever.
If you enjoy light humor from a bygone era, Kinky is just the author to provide it.

One person found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Steve

Great price and fast delivery. Thank you DONNELLY.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 6, 2020

Verified Purchase

I liked everything and I used this item as reading material. It's a book.

Cassandra Christ

great, useful and funny!

Reviewed in Germany on April 1, 2013

Verified Purchase

Im a yankee who lived in Texas for a number of years, so I really enjoyed this book which takes a poke at Texans, their traditions and opinions and does it in a respectful, playful way.

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