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Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage Hardcover – May 23, 2005

by Stephanie Coontz (Author)

108 customer reviews

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A historical analysis of the traditional institution of marriage traces its role as a practice designed to acquire favorable in-laws and improve a family's labor force, detailing how marriages have evolved from loveless, arranged unions to their present-day state, in an exposé that reveals the impact of Victorian-inspired marital intimacy, divorce, and alternative lifestyles.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Politics, economics, greed, sex, carswithout them, matrimony wouldnt have caused the historical revolution ensuing today, concludes social historian Stephanie Coontz, in Marriage, a History. Modern marriage is in crisis; but dont pine for a return to "the good old days," when men earned money and women kept house. Dont even assume the crisis is all bad. For as Coontz reveals in this ambitious, multi-century trek through wedlock, marriage has morphed into the highest expression of commitment in Western Europe and North America; and though assumptions no longer exist regarding which partner may say "I do" to work, childcare, or other shared responsibilities, a clear set of rules about saying "I dont" (to infidelity and irresponsibility) rings loud as church bells.

"This is not the book I thought I was going to write," Coontz admits. She intended to show that marriage was not in crisis; merely changing in expected ways. But her exhaustive research suggested the opposite was true. Tracing matrimonys path from ancient times (when some cultures lacked a word for "love" and the majority of pairings were attempts to seize land or family names) through present day, she closely examines the many external forces at play in shaping modern marriage. Coontz details how societys attempts to toughen this institution, have actually made it more fragile. Her rich talent for analyzing events, statistics, and theories from a myriad of sourcesand enabling the reader to put them all in perspectivemake this provocative history book an essential resource.--Liane Thomas

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. When considered in the light of history, "traditional marriage"—the purportedly time-honored institution some argue is in crisis thanks to rising rates of divorce and out-of-wedlock births, not to mention gay marriage—is not so traditional at all. Indeed, Coontz (The Way We Never Were) argues, marriage has always been in flux, and "almost every marital and sexual arrangement we have seen in recent years, however startling it may appear, has been tried somewhere before." Based on extensive research (hers and others'), Coontz's fascinating study places current concepts of marriage in broad historical context, revealing that there is much more to "I do" than meets the eye. In ancient Rome, no distinction was made between cohabitation and marriage; during the Middle Ages, marriage was regarded less as a bond of love than as a " 'career' decision"; in the Victorian era, the increasingly important idea of true love "undermined the gender hierarchy of the home" (in the past, men—rulers of the household—were encouraged to punish insufficiently obedient wives). Coontz explains marriage as a way of ensuring a domestic labor force, as a political tool and as a flexible reflection of changing social standards and desires. She presents her arguments clearly, offering an excellent balance between the scholarly and the readable in this timely, important book. Agent, Susan Rabiner. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Product details

Hardcover: 448 pages
Publisher: Viking Adult (May 19, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 067003407X
ISBN-13: 978-0670034079
Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 1.6 x 9.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 108 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #310,580 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #464 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Sociology > Marriage & Family
- #3326 in Books > History > Historical Study & Educational Resources
- #11913 in Books > History > World

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Ron P.

Great read, if a little ponderous.

September 16, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This is a fascinating read for anyone who ever wondered what marriage and interpersonal relationships in the western world looked like 100, 200, 300 years ago. We tend to operate under the assumption that the institution has always served pretty much the same purposes it does today, but Coontz's book shows that nothing could be further from the truth. Marriage, in fact, has served so many varied economic, cultural, political and personal purposes over the centuries that it makes one wonder why people today get so worked up over gay marriage and other changes which continue to reflect the changing mores of western culture. That said, the first half of the book is a bit of a slog; the author giving far too many examples of little known historical characters and the oddities of their marriages. It picks up in the second half (I'm just now getting into that part) where she talks about changes brought about in the early 20th century by the industrial revolution and heightened expectations on the part of women at the end of the Victorian era. This part of the book is just easier to relate to by someone born mid-century like myself.

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Michelle Martin

A Very Interesting and Vitally Important Read!

September 15, 2015

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I read a quote from this book that someone posted on social media in response to the normal clamor about "traditional marriage." I was immediately in awe of this author, so much in awe in fact that I bought the book immediately and spent the next several days reading it. Coontz is an excellent writer and her research is exhaustive. This may be a non-fiction book, and I'm going to guess is used as a textbook in some courses, but it reads almost like a novel. I learned things about marriage -- its roots, function and current influences on modern-day relationships that I'd never heard of in my entire undergraduate and graduate careers! This is a must read book for anyone who is ever tempted to utter the words "traditional marriage" (or for anyone who is tempted to respond to such utterances). You may not like what you read, but truth is truth...and an interesting truth (about the history of marriage) it is. Do yourself a favor and read this book!

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papa_smurf

This book is the book to read if you want to understand the history of marriage.

July 8, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Wow what a great book. I usually don't write much reviews for books or items that I buy on amazon but this book definitely warrants one. After reading this book I am absolutely blown away what I had learned and read. Stephanie Coontz has devoted her life to research of society and additionally spent over a decade researching marriage alone. I was shocked to learn that marrying for love, let alone as the primary reason, was a relatively new idea in human society. If you really want to understand what marriage was and what marriage is today then this book will give you the understanding. She clearly states that she's not in the business to project where marriage is going in the future. Also, the author definitely is NOT giving marriage advice. She states from beginning that as a historian her goal and profession, like her fellow historians, is to see where marriage was in the earliest of times to where we are now.

As man in modern society again I am humbled to what I have learned and I sparked interest in friends and family into reading this book. The men and women I told about this book have different political, religious and culture backgrounds. To me that's saying enough about this book to grant that type of respect. Thank you Stephanie Coontz for devoting your time and energy into your career and into writing this book. Your book has definitely changed my attitude and understanding into the deep significance of marriage over the many, many years.

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August 30, 2011

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Speaking as a 51-year-old man who has been happily married for 28 years and raising two sons, Ms. Coontz's trip through the evolution of marriage was very helpful, reassuring and illuminating. Almost from the onset of our marriage back in 1983, friends told us we had an "unconventional" relationship. When in reality, we were just a little ahead of the curve. Our relationship is based on trust, mutual respect and a commitment to working through the inevitable problems that will arise from living with another person. Unlike authors of countless, silly marriage advice books, Ms. Coontz is a historian who did the homework in researching the evolution of marriage. The Ozzie-and-Harriet template that many people view as how "traditional" marriages were through most of history before the radical 1960s shot everything to hell is simply pure bunk. The author is to be commended for explaining how marriage is an ever-evolving institution since its early inception and will continue to do so well after you and I are worm food. In over 30 years, I've read a boatload of material about different historical periods and Ms. Coontz's assessment rings true. This well-written, entertaining work helped put this peculiar institution into proper perspective. It was very therapeutic. Whatever stage of life you are in, do yourself and favor and read Ms. Coontz's book.

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