What is the nurture assumption? - That if a kid doesn't turn out just right (whatever that means), that kid is assumed to have received sub-par parenting. Child development researchers seem to universally believe in TNA. Never in world history has so much pressure been placed on parents, and Judith Rich Harris doesn't buy it. In this book, she minimizes the effects (blame) that parents have (are due) for a child's eventual attainment (lack) of success and happiness - to cases of extreme abuse or neglect. She's possibly overstating her case for effect, but it makes sense to hear her out in this well-researched, persuasive book.
Bottom line, Harris would give genetics 50% - environment 50%. You're saying, "wait a minute, you said parents weren't very important at all" - in her opinion, environment comes largely from the peer group. Then she backs this up with extensive documentation. Research done from parent questionaires shows an entirely different kid than that one found on the playground, at school, and in the neighborhood - interacting with that set of relationships she says is most important to him - his peers.
Harris wrote child development texts for several years. She eventually began to note that the authorities in the sub-fields she used for reference seemed oblivious to each other's literature. Meanwhile, she reared two kids of her own, who couldn't have been more different. One day, she realized she simply didn't believe what she was writing.
Drawing on her cross-disciplinary writing experience, her personal re-analysis of some of the important research, and her inclination toward evolutionary psychology, she wrote an article that was published by a prestigious psychological journal. That acclaimed article led to this book.
Although somewhat redundant, Harris's book is thoughtful, provocative, and fun to read. She provides the history of child development psychology - from hunter-gatherer days to Freud to Skinner to Spock to present day - taking time to explain the negative influence of Hitler's eugenics on evolutionary psychology.
Particularly useful are her comments on pages 17-20, comparing the kind of studies done in socialization research to that done in epidemiology. In both cases, since the variables are limitless and mostly non-controllable, pre-conceptual bias is a real problem in interpretation..."The proliferation of this sort of report led two prominent developmentalists, in a long and thorough review of socialization research, to wonder 'whether the number of significant correlations exceeds the number to be expected by chance.'"
This book is a breath of fresh air to those of us who have had difficult children. My record is 4 difficult out of 6. I'm not bragging that our parenting skills were great, but my wife and I tried to the best of our abilities. Those 4 out of the house are all happy, productive, and visit frequently - but that doesn't reflect the angst over the prospect of the guilt we certainly thought we would be deserving of had any of them (perish the thought) ended up unhappy (jailed, mentally ill, depressed, etc.).
As far as advise, she gives some in chapter 14. She gives thorough pre-emptive repentance for this brazen act, since she spent 13 chapters raking advice-givers over the coals. As it turns out, you can't shirk your responsibilities - parents still have to do the usual good things they already do, but they should quit agonizing over being perfect. Important other duties include actively making adjustments in the peer group when you can (easier during the young ages) and assisting each family member when they're not having a pleasant trip. Other than that, we parents may have less influence than we thought on how our kids turn out.
A definite 5 stars.
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Top reviews from other countries
- eleanorReviewed in the United Kingdom on December 13, 2016
rigorous - and surprisingly funny.
