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What Would Betty Do?: How to Succeed at the Expense of Others in this World-and the Next Paperback – March 5, 2002

by Paul Bradley (Author)

42 customer reviews

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Betty Bowers is a better Christian than you!
In a world of reflected glory and shameless name-dropping, no one can touch America's most puritanical pundit, Betty Bowers. Betty is so close to Jesus, He's given her His loaves and fish recipe. And only Betty knows how many shopping days there are until the Apocalypse. As she is fond of saying: "If God created me in His image, I have more than returned the compliment!"
In Prada and in prayer, Betty has devoted her life to bringing people the Good News: They are going straight to Hell. Thousands have aspired to emulate her joie d'apres vivre by logging on to her popular website, bettybowers.com. But only now, with What Would Betty Do? does she finally reveal her spiritual survival secrets. You'll discover how, come Judgment Day, to be whisked through the 10 Sins or Less express line. But first, you will have to learn how to vote (for God's Own Party, the Republicans), whom to hate (Lie-berals and other non-Baptists), and what to throw (a soirée -- and then a few stones!). "After all," warns Betty, "if Heaven is just going to involve running into all the people you avoided on Earth, what would be the point?"
Unchic? Unsaved? Wavering faith? Wandering hands? A pair of $650 Manolo Blahnik pumps that won't go with anything? No problem! Just ask yourself -- What would Betty do?

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

If you've ever wondered whether you're going to hell, Betty Bowers has an answer for you--and it is a soft, self-satisfied "Yes." What Would Betty Do?, a satire of self-righteousness, collects the ravings of "America's Best Christian," a creation of the writer Paul A. Bradley. The book is organized as a send-up of Christian advice manuals, including sections on Bible study, sex, fashion, and social justice ("The Poor Will Always Be with Us, So We Needn't Break a Heel Rushing to Help Them"). Betty is at her best with snappy one-liners (such as "So close to Jesus, He validates my parking," and "If God created me in His image, I have more than returned the compliment") and wicked acronyms ("B.A.S.H." is an ex-gay ministry: "Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals"). Betty nails the target of fundamentalist hubris with aplomb, but as the book goes on and the same jokes appear again and again, satire also verges into sneering. --Michael Joseph Gross

About the Author

Betty Bowers was named "America's Best Christian" by W.W.J.D. Power & Associates when they determined that she outperformed all other Christians in a nationwide study of the key areas that drive the Lord's satisfaction.

Product details

Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Touchstone; First Edition edition (March 5, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0743216016
ISBN-13: 978-0743216012
Product Dimensions: 7 x 0.6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 42 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,574,341 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #829 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Religion
- #2992 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Parodies
- #311737 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles

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OMG!! It' SOO funny (and cleverly-biblically accurate!!) Amazing humor.

March 2, 2014

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This is NOT for Bible-blinded sheep.. this is ONLY for Clever, intelligent, funny people who can see the Karrapp that is hidden inside every religion.
The better you know your bible,, the MORE you will LAUGH at this stuff.

This should be REQUIRED reading in EVERY church!!!

One person found this helpful

I love Mrs. Betty Bowers!

December 18, 2011

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book is hilarious! I absolutely love Mrs. Betty Bowers (in a Christian way, of course). She has a website, a Facebook Fan Page, and a YouTube Channel too. As of December 2011, she updates the Facebook regularly. I highly recommend you get this book! Then visit the Landover Baptist Church website and her website.

I am a huge fan of Chris Harper, Paul A. Bradley, and Deven Green!

One person found this helpful

Tim Hundsdorfer

Satire at its best.

May 16, 2002

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Having been raised evangelical (but later recovered), I was really, really happy to find someone else that recognizes the humor in fundamentalist Christian ideology. Bradley is an excellent satirist, recognizing the absurd, but also having a thorough knowledge of the subject matter.
At its best, WWBD attacks the scripture, analyzing precisely what makes nonsense of fundamentalist scripture quotation. Betty's advocacy of stoning recalcitrant children and discussion of the one unforgivable sin (insulting the Holy Ghost) put the fundamental error in fundamentalism. Recurring references to "God's Own Party" and "Demoncrats" underscores why when the freepers come across WWBD it's rating will, no doubt, go down drastically.
Clearly, the blasphemous nature of much of WWBD makes it a book that is not for everyone. Further, much of the material in the book is available at the website (and some of what is on the website is not available in the book.) However, there is something comforting for those of us that grew up under the heavy hand of evangelical Christianity to know that we are not alone in our epiphany of fundamentalist Christianity's failed logic, self-contradiction and selective perception.
This is a good book to shock your religious friends and relatives. There are also a few belly-laughs.

93 people found this helpful94 people found this helpful

charles pagnini

This book will make a believer out of believers

October 2, 2013

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

As soon as some one writes something or states opinions or rules, they open themselves up to satire; Jesus is no exception! Being uber-religious, I found "What Would Betty Do", a pleasant relief to the stuffy, serious, self-fulfilling Christians that I know and share church pews with. Mr Bradley is obviously very competent with his Bible and "isn't afraid to use it." If you thing God has no sense of humor; you will not like this book. If you think God has a sense of humor, (he did smite 3 cities of the Philistines with hemorrhoids) then you will love this book.

One person found this helpful

If you don't like satire, then you need to keep away.

July 14, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I love all the tongue-in-cheek humor of this book. Those who are easily offended will not like this book at all. I find it humorous at most points and downright hilarious at times.

One person found this helpful

Religious Humor

August 30, 2007

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

My pastor and I immediately identified Betties traits among three women in the congregation. Her traits are unfortunately too common in the main stream Christian Churches, as well as among Betty's Southern Baptists. You will meet her kind in every church you go to. Smile, and think of Betty

5 people found this helpful6 people found this helpful

October 12, 2015

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Hilarious. The author clearly does his research to give you the best laughs about a ridiculous book called the bible.

One person found this helpful

The Hilarity of Holy Hypocrisy

June 14, 2010

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Betty Bowers is quite the Christian icon. You'll love how this smug and saved Christian parodies the hypocrisy and arrogance of modern day American Evangelical Christians. Instead of getting annoyed with the "better-than-thou", hypocritical Christian folks... why not laugh at them? Sure is more fun. Very clever, funny book. Enjoy!

One person found this helpful

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